a strap on penis

A pregnancy test.

What the *crag* I don't know you how could I get you a good present?

A big plate of blooming onions.

...

You all failed miserably.

The best presents are pictured below:

M'aiq will now go procure these magical items for himself as a gift to him.

I buy a sword to swing rapidly around like a *crag*ing idiot until someone dies

Painty the Pirate is god tier.