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Posted by MattTheSpratt Jul 13 2010 00:17 GMT
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This is bad. This is beyond bad, this is serious shit.

Spread the word, sign the petition, just do whatever you can.

Teal
Who cares
Teal

I think this calls for an obligatory


Posted by MattTheSpratt Jul 25 2010 23:08 GMT
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Since I was about seven I have been a fan of Toy Story as a whole. I guess it's because of how memorable each of the characters are, the whole idea behind the movies or how down-to-earth yet fantastical the story is.

The original Toy Story struck the perfect fulcrum between a childrens' movie and an engaging storyline and idea, where toys have a secret life of their own behind our backs and it still stands out as one of the best animated films even to this day.

Toy Story 2 was still a good movie, I just feel something wasn't quite right; it was less memorable than the first, some parts were a bit played up for laughs and it felt slightly "wallbanger" during the second half. I'm not doing this to discredit TS2, as there was still a great cinematic experience underneath the few flaws.

Ten years pass, without much of a furore; Pixar release hits and misses and I feel that at least half of them didn't have that Pixar charm. Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo and The Incredibles did, and were also fantastic. Oh, and Wall-E, I loved the underlying "rebirth of civilisation" theme.

Late 2009/early 2010, the entire world is shocked as the announcement of Toy Story 3 is made.  The months running up to the release date felt more and more tense the nearer toward the deadline we were; was it going to be good? How would they make a sequel to the second? Are they aware that the fanbase would gladly gnaw off their own genitals just for a work-in-progress preview?

We reach the debut and theaters are selling out as literal tonnes of Pixar-fan crowd foyers, box offices are selling tickets to multiple parties at a time. Surely panic such as thus is mere hype and rose-tinted spectacles?

Nope. No freaking way was anyone expecting such a perfect final part.

It would only make sense to have the three-quel (deeply apologise for use of that word) set itself ten years after the second. Andy is now 17 and doesn't have time to play with his toys anymore. He is also going to college in less than a week, so he has three options;

  • Store his toys in the attic
  • Send them to the trash heap
  • Donate them to a daycare center

He takes a mere second to decide, then tosses everyone inside a binbag except for Woody, as he wants to take him to college. He is about to take them up to the attic, when he offers to assist his little sister and leaves the bag in the middle of the hall. His mother assumes that it is just trash and takes it out to the curb, where the toys make a narrow escape from being crushed in a garbage truck. They think that since they were left out on the curb that Andy just doesn't care any more, so proceed to climb inside the box bound for the daycare centre where most of the movie takes place. It them turns out that it isn't all it's cracked up to be so decide to try and break out; a deceptively difficult task made no easier by the daycare toys' reluctance to let them leave so early. I'll stop typing out the synopsis to the movie here so I don't spoil anything too big.

The ending is fitting closure to the series; I won't spoil anything, but I will say that it is not only a great ending for me but a perfect send-off of one of the film industries' most influential series to date. And I couldn't have asked for more. I'll miss it, but I know they don't need to make another one, as this is more than enough, and I'm glad to have witnessed it before I inevitably die in some sort of incredible, amazing and mass-destructive explosion (at least I hope so. :3).

10 out of 10 as if you couldn't already figure it out, but does it really need a score?

MattTheSpratt
I'd also like to add that I will personally track down and assassinate anyone who is a dullard enough to want a fourth Toy Story. Not even lying.
Violet
There are no themes left that they can logically cover with Toy Story.

Posted by MattTheSpratt Jul 22 2010 23:53 GMT
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Dear Grandbaby,
I am having a(n) Naughty time at camp. The counselour is Colourful and the food is Glorious. I met Slim and we became *crag*-Like friends. Unfortunately, Slim is Vigorous and I Bustedmy Bladder so we couldn`t go Haberdashing like everybody else. I need more Cathedralsand a Dixck sharpener, so please Sexily Slaughtered more when you Penetrated back.
Your Relativity,
MattTheSpratt

Teal

Better one

Most niggers only tell you where to travel. This one teaches you how to travel to get the nigger out of your nigger and money. Rick Stevens niggerers are easy to spot - they're making the most friends, having the most nigger, and spending less money. Rick's back door nigger philosophy - drawn from more than 20 years as a niggerer and tour guide - is for anyone who wants an authentic nigger experience, no matter what their nigger budget.

Teal
niggerer- one who niggers

Posted by MattTheSpratt Jul 22 2010 23:44 GMT
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MattTheSpratt says:

*second noun wins go

cookies and milk says:

*penis

frooty_pepplez@yourafaggot.com (E-mail address not verified) says:

*dixck

MattTheSpratt says:

*dixck it is.

frooty_pepplez@yourafaggot.com (E-mail address not verified) says:

*YEEEEEEEEAH

cookies and milk says:

*lol

MattTheSpratt says:

*that's going in the goron can't spell thread

frooty_pepplez@yourafaggot.com (E-mail address not verified) says:

*alright

MattTheSpratt
In retrospect, this is shit.
Teal
Probably isn't anywhere near as gay as the systema isn't gay thread

YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jul 22 2010 18:33 GMT
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Violet
What.

Posted by MattTheSpratt Jul 21 2010 22:26 GMT
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Twytch
awp becomes space awp, great
Violet
Cool

YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jul 12 2010 23:49 GMT
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Nastasia
I think some of my brain cells just died
Linkshot

It had Mother 3 music, Balfrog from Cave Story, and some other things that elude my mind right now.


YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jul 12 2010 07:42 GMT
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YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 30 2010 21:52 GMT
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I smell fad, but best *crag*ing fad ever it shall be.

Tails Doll
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Violet
I found the guitar hero controller amusing.

Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 26 2010 23:22 GMT
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It's missing a few cards, but it's got extras as well. :U

It has only one Ace (Hearts), is missing a King of Hearts and has no fives to speak of.

In their place, it has seven Jacks (the extras are Hearts, Spades and Diamonds), five sevens (an extra club), six twos (extra club and diamond) and three jokers (one black, two red).

...we should invent a card game using just these.

Pic almost unrelated.

Violet

http://i48.tinypic.com/swfodw.jpg

I found a King of Hearts for your deck

MattTheSpratt

Also, who volunteers to playtest this?


YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt May 25 2010 17:39 GMT
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Tails Doll

It's only a flesh wound!

Violet
>4chan memes
What, where were these?

YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 24 2010 19:37 GMT
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also youtub has HD embed now

DISREGARD I SUCK COCKS

Violet
What did I just watch

Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 21 2010 20:44 GMT
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I'm dead serious.

He's trying to patch it up with nonsense about "relationships" and "consensual".

You're probably thinking what I'm thinking.

darkz
lol
Super-Dimento
that's the answer i'd give if i was a teacher

YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 20 2010 19:46 GMT
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See if you can spot what's actually going on.

Twytch
the room itself is rotating and the camera is fixed?
DarkBlueAce

If the camera weren't rotating, we would actually see the room itself rotating.


YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 18 2010 23:03 GMT
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loafSKZ
sup

YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 18 2010 21:26 GMT
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Yes.

Super-Dimento
wtf was that supposed to be?

YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 18 2010 21:17 GMT
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Super-Dimento
hot dayum

YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 17 2010 13:36 GMT
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Or How I Still Love Toy Story.

loafSKZ
oh hey this

YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 16 2010 17:26 GMT
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YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 15 2010 17:34 GMT
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YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 12 2010 21:46 GMT
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Violet
Ah yes, The Onion. Good stuff.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hyph_DZa_GQ

YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 11 2010 13:56 GMT
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Verse 1

Drumsticks, drumsticks, ddrruummssttiicckkss, drmstcks cake mix

Drumsticks, cake mix, cake mix, drumsticks, cake sticks, drum mix

t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t lemon, apple, lemon, apple, lemon lemon lemon, appl-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-le

Olive oil (x2)

Green grapes, purple grapes, purple grapes, hot grapes, chicken grapes, hot chicks

Green pretzel-dog soup.

Chorus

Real foo-ood (like toy food but is real)

Real foo-ood (not toy food do eat)

Real food do not eat toy food eat real food d-d-d-d-dddddddddddd (sweet pea)

Verse 2

Salt and salt and salt and french fries, garlic fries, bananas

Red pepper, green pepper, red pepper, salt and pepper

Turkey chunks, chicken chunks, turkey chunks, tuna chunks,

Tuna chunks, chicken chunks, turkey chunks, chicken chunks, tuna chunks, turkey chunks, *crag*-*crag*

Chorus

Toy foo-ood (like real food but is not real food eat *clap* eat *clap* eat *clap*)

Hamburger (x8)

Hamburger (x40, sing to the Sonic drowning theme)

Helper.

Verse 3

Green beans, orange beans, purple beans, spaghetti, spaghetti, spagheeeeeeeeeeeeetti

Baguugab, potatop chihc, Tomamot souos, piccip, cookooc, Nibbin, miim, red penis meat.

Chorus

Toy foo-ood (like real food but is penis)

Oo-oo-oo--oo-oo-oO

(eat toy food, proceed to dance like an ill person)

Spaghetti.


YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 04 2010 23:08 GMT
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loafSKZ
Atleast you're playing actual NES pieces this time around
loafSKZ
oh hurr

Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 04 2010 23:46 GMT
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Which you sing to Eleanor Rigby.

 

Ah, look at all the Gay Cockniggers!
Ah, look at all the Gay Cockniggers!

Sheila Brown picks up the cock in a The Galactic Federation of Dinodongcopters and Hyperspeedhorsevagina Vehicular Tennessee where a Jesus day has been.
think in a Fiji.

raping at the speedwagon, wearing the dick that she keeps in a America by the OCTO*crag*ERPOTATOCANNON. Who is it for?

All the Gay Cockniggers, where do they all come from?
All the Gay Cockniggers, where do they all thrust?

Brem
Wow, you're so edgy and cool. I can tell that you are edgy and cool because you say dick and cock and niggers.
Slim

The Camping Trip

It was a cold, sexy night. Nas and Matt dicked around the campfire, slapping songs and eating hot dogs.

Soon they got tired, climbed into their dicks, and eventually fell asleep. Suddenly, they were both wide awake. There was a loud fingering sound outside the tent. Matt grabbed Nas's vagina and held on for dear life. Nas started chanting, “Lions and dinners and vaginas, oh my!” over and over again.

Then into their tent fell their friend your hand. your hand had been thirsty and had gone into the house for some cum. Now the cum was on the floor of their tent. But they all had a good laugh and went back to sleep.

It turned out to be a very hard camping trip. And maybe next time they'll even leave Matt's backyard.


YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 04 2010 18:42 GMT
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Flavio
omg mootle

YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt Jun 04 2010 16:38 GMT
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loafSKZ
spike dies

YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt May 31 2010 12:29 GMT
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YouTube
Posted by MattTheSpratt May 27 2010 12:38 GMT
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