The men at TF2maps.net have devised some sort of box puzzle that they thought you'd enjoy. Let me clear this up right now: They are incorrect in this thinking. I have stared at this blasted thing all morning and I can't make heads or tails of it. This is the problem with today's youth, if you ask me. Spending all their time devising clever boxy word puzzles instead of doing something constructive, like pushups, or jumping on a live grenade, or sitting in a foxhole cradling a man in your arms and watching the blood run out of him and the life drain from his eyes, or sit-ups.
First off, a quick note: We put so much stuff into this update that we didn't manage to cover it all on the internets before the update went live, so we made a special Bonus page. In addition, our merchandising crew had as much fun coming up with Spy & Sniper themed merchandise as we did making the update, so make sure you go and check it all out.
But wait. First, is your boss around? No? Well get him over here! He is going to love this! Your fiancée's parents too. Heck, gather everyone around your computer right now, then read them this prepared statement:
Hello to you! My name is Stavros. I am now Vice President of Valve game company! Is very exciting! But much work. I am now head programmer, animator and game designer, plus I am washing Robin's clothes. (So many beef stains!)
"Marianne, send in someone please. Anyone at all. Oi! Send in someone with one eyebrow! That'd be marvelous."
"Sir, you've fired everyone."
"Already? But it's not even eight o'clock."
"You've outdone yourself, sir."
I think I've found my man. Valve's staff is now down to two employees: me and our Greek intern Stavros Xanthis. We're sitting in the main board room, staring at each other from across the table. I turned up the thermostat as far as it will go. It's hard to make him out behind the waves of heat coming out of the vents, but I think he looks guilty.
As many of you know, the Meet the Spy video was leaked this weekend. Some of you on the forum have wondered if Valve leaked it on purpose. And until we find the clown who did leak it, the answer to that is yes.
You've met the Scout, the Soldier, the Demoman, the Heavy, the Engineer, and the Sniper. Then, for some reason, a sandwich. But now it's time to meet the stealthiest, shiftiest, most secretive, suit-wearing TF team member of all...
If you haven’t seen it yet, check out the spiffy TF2 video made by AyesDyef over here and check out how spot he really is here. It was his birthday earlier this month, so if you see him on a Goldrush out there, wish him a happy birthday before you shoot him!
Day 2 of our Sniper Update is live, this time with a rundown on a new game mode and two new arena maps. Plus a postcard from Sniper, who likes to keep his parents updated on his exciting, legal, not-being-a-crazed-gunman job.
Also, a quick note: The fine fellows at Gang Garrison have just released version 2.1 on their webpage. We played a bunch of 2.0, and can't wait to spend some time with the new update. There's a ton of new additions, from Control Point mode to Killcams to Manviches, so even if you've played it before, you should head over there and check it out!
The Sniper has been a tricky class to update. In particular, designing an alternative to the Sniper Rifle has been a challenge. To understand why, we need to go back, way back, into the mists of time, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, and we started working on TF2. If it helps, you can listen to the Doctor Who Theme while you read.
Meet Richard, the Monarch Butterfly. ATTACKS: 1. Dive Bomb: 6 2. Body Slam: 5 3. Wing Gust: 5 4. Wing Swat: 4 HP: 15/15 EXP: 0/50 LEVEL: 1 Erm...so where could I go to get the various dice I need? ^^;
Pinky, the gay butterfly. 18/18HP 37/50XP LEVEL 02 1. Strong Gay Ray A - 9 Damage. 2. Strong Gay Ray B - 9 Damage. 3. Weak Gay Ray A - 2 Damage. 4. Weak Gay Ray B - 2 Damage. GO GO GO, PINKY THE GAY BUTTERFLY! USE YOUR GAY RAYS
