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Flavio
Vampire
Joined: 05 Jul 2007
Posts: 10649
HP: 4 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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 Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 10:21 pm
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| frozenwinters wrote: | | Flavio wrote: | The story did start out good, though the threads that kept the story together slowly fell apart.
At the part with Maya you went out of character. Instead of being the normal person, you were saying things such as "hugplx?" and such. It also just started to make slightly less sense.
None the less, it's an okay story. Hope you finish it. |
I blame school.
As for the out of characterness, it's based on 'Digibutter' not what-ever game your idioticness is based off of. |
Huh? What are you talking about "Idioticness Flavio's game is based off of,"? Your character in the story went to the school as a normal person, not a digibutterian. That was were the story shined, how you had a normal person interact with the people of Digibutter. |
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~A color is just a color~
Frozenwinters
Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 25292
HP: 1 MP: 0 Lives: 4
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| Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 10:23 pm
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I'll work on putting more effort into it. |
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Flavio
Vampire
Joined: 05 Jul 2007
Posts: 10649
HP: 4 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 10:25 pm
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Then again, Flavio shouldn't really be criticizing this after how bad Flavio's story is turning out. |
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Sync
MALAK
Joined: 01 Aug 2007
Posts: 34747
HP: 10 MP: 2 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:03 pm
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| Flavio wrote: | | Then again, Flavio shouldn't really be criticizing this after how bad Flavio's story is turning out. |
Your story PWNz though. |
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Wacko McGoose
Launching Star
Jailed
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Posts: 2020
HP: 10 MP: 0 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:05 pm
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I think the story is okay. But you should REALLY post the next part of it. It's been 12 pages, and you've only done one part of the whole story. |
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darkzero
Rusty Shackleford
Vampire
Joined: 12 Jun 2007
Posts: 16661
HP: 1 MP: 2 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:55 pm
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Holy crap, i just realized i was in it D: |
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~A color is just a color~
Frozenwinters
Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 25292
HP: 1 MP: 0 Lives: 4
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:52 am
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| Wacko McGoose wrote: | | I think the story is okay. But you should REALLY post the next part of it. It's been 12 pages, and you've only done one part of the whole story. |
I've done 7. =/ |
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BANJO KA-FREAKING-ZOOIE
top minion tails
Vampire
Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 13197
HP: 1 MP: 7 Lives: 2
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| Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:52 am
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I'd like to be in.... |
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Sync
MALAK
Joined: 01 Aug 2007
Posts: 34747
HP: 10 MP: 2 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 1:25 am
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| top minion tails wrote: | | I'd like to be in.... |
Then stop godmodding plx. |
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Token Nazi?
Zelnor
Joined: 01 Jul 2007
Posts: 6425
HP: 10 MP: 7 Lives: 1
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| Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:22 am
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More story please ? THE PRINCIPAL DEMANDS IT ! IT IS NOW YOUR HOMEWORK !
Digibutter Highschool
It was a quiet, peaceful day, until...
DA DA DAAAA ! DAAAAAAA... DA DA DA DAAAA DA~ ! *creepy music and maniacal laughter*
Students: EEEEEEK ! *run in circles*
Teachers: ... *bored*
Student: MR I ! WHAT'S HAPPENING ? IS IT A SUPERVILLAIN LIKE LAST TIME ?
Mr. I : No, the principal is marking tests and put his tea mug onto the broadcasting system.
Loudspeakers: (Zelnors' Voice) AAAAAAA HAHA HA HA HA HAAAAHA HAAAAAAA ! IT'S ALIVE ! |
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darkzero
Rusty Shackleford
Vampire
Joined: 12 Jun 2007
Posts: 16661
HP: 1 MP: 2 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 12:50 am
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Bump, Also, the main character wants to hurt me ;.; |
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PEPSIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Cherry
Vampire
Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 22614
HP: 65 MP: 6 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 2:33 am
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I just read this for the first time...
I'm actually portrayed in a positive light. That's a new one. |
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Paper Peach
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Posts: 4226
HP: 14 MP: 2 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 12:31 pm
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XD Definately continue it plz :3 |
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TooManyToasters
Paper_Waluigi
Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 10343
HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 1
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 1:21 pm
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Metroid Boy made me lol.
also i can has b in story plx? |
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