Ugh. I feel dirty. I just took The Secret World’s newly launched “social tool” The Secret War for a spin, 'n it forced me t' do some things even a childhood a grisly newfangled murder simulators never prepared me for. It be, in short, everything ye hate about Facebook gaming – except that’s the whole game. I’m feeling a bit ranty right now, so join me after the break for the gory details. Oh, 'n consider brewing up some coffee so ye can spit-take it in enraged astonishment.

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