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Murder in Room 252 (FF)
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 9:56 am   Reply with quote

Mister I wrote:
So happy this is back...

But why does Daisy care so much about TMK? Doesn't she rule Sarahara Land or something? That place that was attacked by Tatanga? I just want an explaination...AND KOOPALINGS! (lol, really love the Koopalings)

I'll give it an 8/10. Very Happy


Well because she knows that if she doesn't act quick the Mushroom Kingdom will be destroyed and deep, deep very deep inside her heart Daisy does care. xD
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 10:15 am   Reply with quote

Murder in Room 252
Chapter 22 – The great ballerina

Daisy walked inside her cell. She could her hear some music so she started to dance. She was a pretty good dancer even better than Peach.

Toadsworth: What are you doing? Dancing in a moment of crisis!?
Daisy: I need to relax; I was a great ballerina you know?
Toadsworth: For God sake Daisy we’re trapped and hopeless!
Daisy: Thanks to whom? Toadsworth I warned you!

Toadsworth remembered what Daisy had told him before. Signing the treaty…It was a terrible choice.

Daisy: Now, don’t get sad you’re not the only responsible for this…I could have done better.
Toadsworth: Oh no princess, it was my fault. I signed the treaty and I didn’t listen to you. There’s nothing to do now…
Daisy: Or there is?

She stared at the table next to her cell. In top of it was a bunch of keys. Maybe one of them would work.

Daisy: You see those keys over there in the table? Maybe I can grab them.
Toadsworth: With what?
Daisy: You’re cane. Throw it to me!

Toadsworth threw his cane to Daisy. She grabbed it and reached the keys.

Daisy: Yes! I got them! Now let’s try this one “Cell 252”.

Daisy used the key and worked. She was free.
Toadsworth: Yay! Now my turn!

Before she could do anything, she could hear someone coming.

Koopa: So she asked me out.
Goomba: No way! Hey look the cell 252 is open!
Koopa: What!? Oh we’re screwed! Hey let’s ask the old man.
Goomba: Hey old man, where’d she go?
Toadsworth: She…Left…Me…
Koopa: I think he’s in shock!

Daisy kept running and running till she heard the music again. She started to dance. She couldn’t help it; dancing was the only thing her dad wanted her to do. He had taught her how to dance and even where to dance.

Daisy: I must get to that treaty and burn it!

She hurried to Kammy’s room but before she could do anything she had slipped into one of the many steps of the stairs.
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 12:59 pm   Reply with quote

They both ruled!
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 11:24 am   Reply with quote

Thnx I'll be posting the next chapter today.
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 11:31 am   Reply with quote

9.9/10
you use room 252 way to much but if it has to do with the plot 10/10!
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 7:24 pm   Reply with quote

ZoMg I can't believe we're on chapter 23 ^^

Murder in Room 252
Chapter 23 – A voice from the past

As Daisy slipped into one of the many steps of the stairs. She could remember her dad and the one secret he hided.

*Flashback*

Daisy: Daddy I don’t want to dance anymore I’m tired of dancing. I want to go out and play some soccer!
King: What do you say!? You need to practice my dear, practice for the ball of you’re wedding! Or when you kids marry!
Daisy: But dad I’m just a kid!
King: Yes, but I don’t think I’ll live for all those happy moments.
Daisy: What do you mean? You’re still young you silly!
King: It’s not age my dear it’s a sickness…
Daisy: W-what? A sickness? You’re sick!? How come you never told me!?
King: I was afraid. I wanted to share every single minute with you.
Daisy: Does mom know about this?
King: Yes…We wanted to keep this in secret.
Daisy: But I would have found out anyway!
King: Yes, but you must understand…It’s hard to tell you’re daughter you’re going to die.

Daisy looked at the window. It was a beautiful day; all shiny and sparkling. The garden wing looked beautiful.

Daisy: I’m going to sleep. Good night dad.
King: Good night sweetheart.

During midnight the unfortunate event happened. The King of Sarasaland was officially dead.

Everybody was in the funeral. All who had served the king. Daisy was there too along with her mother watching the grave. It was raining and many of the guests went back to their homes to forget.

Queen: Come on Daisy, it’s raining dear. It’s no good for your health.
Daisy: I don’t care I want to feel the rain.
Queen: Daisy…Okay.

As the queen left Daisy could hear the music. The music her dad had used so her daughter could dance.

As she heard the music she started to dance and dance. She couldn’t stop dancing. She was happy dancing in the rain. And as she did she promised her self she would never stop dancing…


Season 1 finale - chapter 30.
There's going to be 5 seasons!!! Or maybe more ^^
And rate plz. ^^
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Mister I
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:48 pm   Reply with quote

So dramatic...

I'll give it a 9.5 out of 10!
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 9:53 am   Reply with quote

dramatic...but cool 10/10
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 3:46 pm   Reply with quote

K. thnx for all you're comments I'll post the next chapter on friday. Keep rating!
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 4:25 pm   Reply with quote

Aww, that's really sad... poor Daisy. But it's really good, so keep writing :3
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 8:57 pm   Reply with quote

2 days...
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 4:53 pm   Reply with quote

K. T hnx for your comments!
I'll be writing the next chapter tomorrow!
I swear!!! x'D..
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 5:08 pm   Reply with quote

I just wrote the new chapter! Rolling Eyes
Murder in Room 252
Chapter 24 – A new hero

Daisy slipped and fell. It wasn’t a big fall though she got up easily and hurried to Kammy’s room. She had to break the treaty.

Daisy: There it is! Kammy’s room!

She hurried inside and looked for the treaty. It wasn’t easy; the whole room was full of books and wands.

Daisy: There it is!

She had found the treaty. It was inside a box made of glass. As she opened the box she could hear the music her father had put for her to dance. It was a music box! She closed it immediately.

Daisy: But how? How could she possibly know about that music…?
Kammy: Because it was obvious my dear.
Daisy: Y-you! How did you know about that music!
Kammy: Well…You’re dad was a friend of mine. We were really closed friends; we shared everything. When he died I was destroyed…I couldn’t believe he was gone so I went to the funeral. Of course you didn’t recognize me I was quite young. When everybody left I stayed sitting there staring at his grave and then I saw you…Dancing in the rain. I remember that you promised you dad to dance for ever…And I wanted to make that promise true.
Daisy: What have you done to me!?
Kammy: Quite easy I say. A spell my dear. A spell of dancing; of course I needed something for you to dance. So whenever you heard that music of you’re father you would dance. Isn’t it interesting?
Daisy: No! I hate this spell! I know I promised to dance for ever but…
Kammy: But what? A promise is a promise.
Daisy: But I don’t want to keep dancing! I hate it.
Kammy: Oh my dear…I’m quite sorry you know? But you’ll have to dance for eternity.

She clapped her hands and Daisy fell into a dark hole.

Kammy: I’m…sorry…
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 5:11 pm   Reply with quote

10/10 1337ness!
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 5:23 pm   Reply with quote

Murder in Room 252
Chapter 25 – Family

Daisy stood up. It was a dark room; just that. She couldn’t see nor hear anything.

Daisy: Hello!?

No answer. It was a big and dark room with no one there.

Daisy: Anyone??? Kammy!?

Suddenly the room got illuminated. Lights were everywhere!

Kammy: Good. Now let’s move into plan B.

It was Kammy who stood in a small cabin with a huge door behind her.

Daisy: Plan B? Wha-

Before she could say anything Kammy had already pressed a red button. There were some headsets all over the place. Then out of nowhere music was heard. It was Daisy’s father music. She began to dance.

Kammy: Dance my dear! Dance!
Daisy: Stop it!
Kammy: Hahahaha!
Daisy: I can’t dance anymore! I’m too tired!
Kammy: Too bad!




Then the huge door from the cabin where Kammy stood open. It
Was a normal koopa who brought the little music box that had the treaty. She grabbed the music box and left it next to the red button.

She opened the little box and smiled.

Kammy: And where is lord Bowser?
Koopa: He’s coming right away ma’am!

Bowser came in. He was kind of happy as his plan had succeeded.

Bowser: Now my dear Kammy, what’s wrong?
Kammy: Oh dear. It’s just a little confession I have to make.
Bowser: Really?
Kammy: Yes.

Kammy smiled and grabbed the treaty. In front of Bowser broke the treaty in half.

Bowser: KAMMY!? BUT WHY!?
Kammy: Oh do you expect me to help you than my own daughter?

She clapped her hands.

Daisy stopped dancing. She was shocked. She couldn’t speak.
Kammy her mother? But how?
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