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lightening Anti-Guy Vampire
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 1506
HP: 95 MP: 8 Lives: 0
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:50 pm
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...Made in roughly 13 minutes...
...Of a Dove...
...The icy wind chilled the back of my head my feet are so very cold, like boots of lead what could this be if not but circumstance for here I am in this garden-that is so well secluded...
...Here in this meadow of silence and soft for here I am so light-headed; aloft yet my arms, legs, and nose are frosted cold but it is still worth it, this meadow old for here I am in this land of hist'ry and time a child so well deluded...
...What happened was simple enough-I froze thus occurred only the grove truly knows For I fell to the ground in a deep daze and while I there, I stared in a deep gaze For here I am in this land of peace and joy I feel like I have quite intruded...
...And here I have in one of pale hand I held a small bit of yellow-gray sand and everything stopped for me-all but time all I heard was a solitary chime for there I was in that land of hist'ry, time, tranquility, and maybe even love I was there for but a moment, but shall remember almost like-no- of a dove...
...Thank you for your time... ~White Shy Guy
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Alice MILF with a gun Burning
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 12888
HP: 57 MP: 0 Lives: 0
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 9:35 pm
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It's... Okay.
It's sort of distracting with the pirate talk killing it, and all, though. |
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Eh, wot Super Slim Vampire
Joined: 16 Jul 2007 Posts: 5041
HP: 20 MP: 1 Lives: 0
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 11:33 pm
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Yarr Harr.
A moving tale it be. |
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lightening Anti-Guy Vampire
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 1506
HP: 95 MP: 8 Lives: 0
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 4:16 pm
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Takano Miyo wrote: | It's... Okay.
It's sort of distracting with the pirate talk killing it, and all, though. | ...sorry... ...removed Pirate hat(dont really see why I still had it on)... ~White Shy Guy |
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~A color is just a color~ Frozenwinters
Joined: 30 Aug 2007 Posts: 25292
HP: 1 MP: 0 Lives: 4
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 7:28 pm
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Oh god I'm so bad at understanding poems. Please explain.
Also I don't like the rhyme scheme, but the words are pretty. c: |
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lightening Anti-Guy Vampire
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 1506
HP: 95 MP: 8 Lives: 0
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Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 1:44 pm
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Frozenwinters wrote: | Oh god I'm so bad at understanding poems. Please explain.
Also I don't like the rhyme scheme, but the words are pretty. c: | ...Simply stated, the character in the poem enters a small meadow( in the winter) and faints... ...when said character wakes up, (s)he isn't there anymore... ...It's your decision to decide if it was a dream or not...
...and as to the scheme, its a longer syllable scheme than usual, and I dont usually have my lines so long... ~White Shy Guy |
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