digibutter.nerr

[Mariofan9]

If you have not beaten Super Paper Mario, ...
turn back ... turn back! ... TUUUURN BAAAACK!

With that out of the way. I like to work on as many kinds of art as possible. Drawing, poetry, writing, photography, whatever. You name it.

This fanfiction piece, I wrote because in my terribly busy school scadual I had been saving up creative energy. Well, enough words devoted to the matter. Here it is:

"As I regained consciousness, I did nothing but analyze the situation. I appeared to lay on something cold and solid. I was breathing, a generally good sign, and though I felt exhausted I wasn’t injured. I opened my eyes and observed that I saw nothing at all. I got on my feet and looked around, but there was no sign of life- or anything at all. A quick observation lead me to the knowledge that it was about 4 degrees Celsius, perfectly dark and that I was standing on stone. A smile ever remained on my face.

I was not fearful or sorry for anything but for me this is nothing special. Never have I felt such emotions, and I rejoice that I do not. They would have weakened me. With a simple, smooth gesture of my hand, a blaze of fire surrounded me and the whole area was lit. I quickly analyzed every possible plan as I looked around. I looked up and saw a gigantic castle, it’s walls milky white and it’s roofs red as strawberries. Above the gate hung an image of a woman that I had seen before.

As the realization that all my perfectly analyzed plans had worked together- like the gears in a clock- caught my awareness, a laugh broke forth from my mouth. “Ah ha ha.” The soft sound of relatively large feet on stone touched my ears, and I turned to where it came from. I, however, was not troubled. If this approaching person did not prove useful, he had a good reason to be troubled. My flames had long faded but I could conclude from the shape that it was a Toad, a common inhabitant of the Mushroom Kingdom.

I decided to greet him first. Surprise might deliver an advantage and might cloud the judgment of the other. The Toad quickly came within close range. “Ah ha ha,” I began. “Why, good evening to you- and to the red dots on your hat!” I spoke with a musical tone in my voice. It was apparent that I had scared the Toad, because it had fallen backwards in shock. “Do you require my assistance to get back up on your feet?” I said confidently. “N-no, thanks..” said a soft, high-pitched voice in the darkness about a meter away.

“W-well … good evening, sir. Who are you and what are you doing on Princess Peach’s Castle Grounds?” said the Toad. I quickly observed as he came closer that he was carrying a spear. He was a castle guard, apparently. “Why, I’m merely visiting this land. Rumor of a wondrous castle and Princess reached my faraway homeland, and I could not resist but travel all this way to come and gaze upon them.” I said in a poetic voice. The Toad smiled, I saw even in the darkness. My words had the expected effect.

“Yes, I understand. And, does our fair Castle live up to the rumors that reached you?” the Toad asked, interested. “Oh no. In fact, it is far fairer than I would have dared to assume. Why, it has the beauty of the elegant, magical castles that the loveliest fairytales speak of,” I went on. The Toad very much liked the description, which was obvious from his silly smile. I assumed this was the time to try and get information. “Do you think I’ll be able to see the Princess some time soon?” I asked.

“Why, yes. Tomorrow, the Princess is holding a party. Mario and Luigi will be there. The guard will be doubled, as Bowser might try to come to the party as well,” the Toad sad cheerfully. “I bet the Princess won’t mind an extra guest, especially not one as polite as you.” Only sparks in my eyes indicated my excitement as I saw just how perfectly my plans had worked out. Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach and quite likely enough Bowser would be in my grasp tomorrow.


These thoughts took only a fraction of a second when I turned back to the Toad. “Thank you!” I said. I decided not to destroy him, yet. If a guard would be missing, the party might be cancelled and my plan would fail or be seriously delayed. “Well then, I had better rest somewhere. Good night to you and your polka dots!” I said, cheerful as ever. “Night,” said the Toad. I turned and flew away ( much to the Toad’s surprise ), but I did not rest. I analyzed every possibility and plan for tomorrow. I will not fail. "

I'm still a novice writer and your advanced critique would be greatly appreciated.

[Yoshio]

its actually pretty good

I've seen far FAR worse

my advice is to keep practicing, the more you write the more comfortable you get and the better your stuff gets

[Mariofan9]