digibutter.nerr

[Popple]

Cussing and Violence WARNINGZ!!!

THE DAILY LIFE OF CUTMAN

CHAPTER 1

"Cutman, awaken." said a mysterious voice.

"Eh, what. It’s only four in the afternoon mommy just three more hours." grumbled Cutman.

"DAMNIT BOY, I'M NOT YOUR MAMA!" yelled the mysterious voice

"GAH!" shouted Cutman falling out of bed," Who the hell are you?"

"I am the creator of the net. You will guide my people to the holy land where..." said the mysterious voice when he was cut off

"Wait...Bubbleman?" said Cutman

"Uh...Uh...Who is the man of bubble you speak of?" said the mysterious voice nervously

"Damnit, how many times I have to tell you to stop screwing around with the damn colored light bulbs?" said Cutman

"But...but...I had to try my new cosplay costume on someone!" said Bubbleman

"Yeah, whatever. You and captain moogle over there go hang out where you're out of earshot." said Cutman

"KUPO!" screamed Aquaman," Lets go! Numbermans waiting in the car!"

"Beware you have angered the gods and they will..." said Bubbleman getting cut off again.

"JUST GO!" shouted Cutman

Bubbleman ran outside with Auquaman ,jumped in the car as fast as they could and drove off to the 5th annual cyber cosplay fair, which Cutman affectionately called the "Yearly Dorks on Parade". Cutman proceeded to check the clock to notice it was 4:00 AM and quickly made a note to break the colored light bulbs over Bubbleman's head when he got home.

Cutman went into the kitchen after being mentally scarred for life after seeing Numberman dressed up as Cait Sith. Believe me; it burns a mental image in your head.

"I need something to make my mind feel partially normal" said Cutman

Cutman went over to the fridge and opened the door

"DAMNIT! AGAIN ICEMAN!?" shouted Cutman

"What!? You said I could sleep in the fridge!?" screamed Iceman

"I told you not to drink out of the carton! And look! There are only half of the eggs left in this container! And this jug of lemonade is only half fu...." Cutman stopped as he was mentally scarred for life again

"Ok...I can explain that..." said Iceman hesitantly

"Never mind, just sleep in the freezer from now on. Its empty anyway no one keeps stuff in there." said Cutman

"I can't, Woodman is on the Atkins diet and stocked the freezer full of ****." said Iceman

"WHAT!? I THOUGHT HE WAS A FRIGGIN VEGETARIAN?" shouted Cutman

"Well apparently he decided not to eat his own kind any more." said Iceman

"Just go get Fireman to "persuade" him to get off the stupid dead man's diet." said Cutman

"Okey dokey artichok..." said Iceman getting cut off

"NO! NOT AGAIN! 300 TIMES A WEEK IS ENOUGH! JUST GO!" shouted Cutman

"SIR YES SIR! 48th BATTALON MOVING OUT!" shouted Iceman as he ran off to find Fireman

Cutman suddenly had a loss of hunger after finding out that the jug of "lemonade" was half full because it fell over in the fridge, Cutman decided to go see what everyone else was up to when he noticed Napalman was once again curled up in a ball behind the couch and decided he should probably get him out of there before Tomahawkman decided to burn it in sacrifice to the sun god.

"Napalmman...why you're behind the couch again?" asked Cutman

"There everywhere man, everywhere. You can hide, but they'll find ya man. They'll find ya." said Napalmman rocking back in forth

"Oh god, not the war hallucinations again. Ok get out from beh..." Cutman said but cutoff as he smelt something odd," You have pot again don't you! Who gave it to you!? And don't say Stoneman, the cops already checked him once."

At that moment Plantman walked in with a big wad of cash

"DAMNIT PALNTMAN! HOW MANY TIME DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO GROW ILLEGAL DRUGS IN THE BACKYARD!" shouted Cutman

"IM SORRY, PLEASE DONT GET OUT TEH CLIPPERS AGAIN!" screamed Plantman caught off guard

"Yes, again" said Cutman evilly as he pulled out a pair of large clippers

"HELP!!!" yelled Elecman as he ran into the room, “METALMAN FOUND THE STAPLER GUN AGAIN!" Elecman then darted out of the room as several staples flew straight after him being pulled in by his static electricity. Plantman of course took this opportunity to escape and needless to say Cutman was pissed.

"HIYIYAYAYA! HIYIYAYAYA!" chanted Tomahawkman," Let the ceremonial couch burning begin!"

"NAZIS!" shouted Napalmman as he jumped out from behind the couch," YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"

Napalmman then shot a series of missiles, one which revealed a hole to the outside where Elecman was frantically trying to escape being stuck to Magnetman and Metalman.

"Ok, just cool down, calm down don't get mad get glad" said Cutman trying not to kill everyone in the immediate area.

Of course this didn't last long as Flashman suddenly burst in the room with Colorman and started a Rave. Cutman then took the opportunity to take out his rage on Plantman by cutting off and then beating him with his own vine.

Cutman was extremely pissed off at this point and couldn't take much more of anyone in the house. And with the local Cosplayers being gone for the day it was safe to go up stairs to the third floor where they lived...or so he thought.

"GOT YOU! YOU’RE CORNERED! NOW I WILL FINISH YOU OFF!" shouted someone

"NO, YOU CAN'T! I WAS SO CAREFUL! SO PRECISE! HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED!?" yelled someone else

Cutman decided he should save the poor soul from a gruesome fate, then quickly changed his decision and decided to take photos of the slaughtering and then sell them to everyone else in the house. He rushed to the run after stealing Bubbleman's camera.

"NO! I CAN'T BE SEEN LIKE THIS! CHECKAMTED BY A NOVICE!? THE PAIN!" shouted Kingman a little too dramatically.

"YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ACTUALLY BEAT A MILTARY TACTICIAN SUCH AS MYSELF AT SUCH A TRIVIAL GAME AS CHESS YOU FOOL!? HA! I LAUGH AT YOU! THEN SPIT ON YOU! THEN LAUGH AT YOU SOME MORE!" shouted Colonel victoriously

Cutman noticing that Colonel cheated using the extra pieces under his chair quickly wrote a note and put it in Kingman's room telling him what had happened so he could get some pictures later of a fight with a better camera. Cutman then decided that he wasn't ever going to get any peace here so he went up to the attic.

"Well I guess I might get some relaxation up here" said Cutman noticing the attic had been oddly furnished

"THE SUN RISES AND THE DAY BEGINS!" shouted someone

"Oh god, don't tell me. Shadowman?" said Cutman

"THE SNOW FALLS IN WINTER!" shouted Shadow

"Good call there Confucius" said Cutman sarcastically

"Don't mind him" said Darkman who came apparently put of no where," He hasn't been the same since he saw Numberman dressed up as Cait Sith."

"Tell me about it, anyway I'm bored..." said Cutman with an evil smile

"Oh god no, NOT THE FLASHLIGHT AGAIN!" yelled Darkman

Cutman continued to shine the flashlight in Dark man face until he was on the floor shaking uncontrollably with a pillow over his head. Shademan then swooped out of no where.

"I'VE COME TO SUCK YOUR BLO..." said Shademan before he was cut off

"Yeah, yeah. You say that every time. It's time for your nappy nappy now" said Cutman

Cutman opened a window letting sunlight fill the room. Shademan immediately fell to the floor and started twitching.

"This place always clams my nerves" said Cutman as he heard the sound of a giant chess piece being smashed against someone’s head down below.