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RULE ONE OF FIGHT CLUB
Steve
Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Posts: 11460
HP: 100 MP: 0 Lives: 0
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 Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:12 pm
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http://www.phuketgazette.net/queernews/index.asp?id=7235
| Quote: | PHUKET: Doctors in Pichit Hospital were presented with a medical conundrum on March 25, when an eight-year-old boy was brought in with a climbing perch stuck up his bottom.
The boy, whose name was given in media reports but is omitted here, was carried into the hospital by his 60-year-old grandmother.
The boy told doctors that on the way home from school he and some friends saw a great number of climbing perch splashing in the mud of a drying-out pond.
Seizing the rare opportunity, the boys stripped off and jumped in to catch the fish.
As the boy was grabbing perch, he felt something push into his bottom. Using his hands to feel what was causing the odd sensation, he felt the tail fins of a wriggling fish sticking out his anus. Before he could do anything, however, the little fish lived up to its name and climbed all the way into his bottom.
The boy shouted for his friends to go and get help and his grandmother, who rushed him to hospital.
At the hospital doctors X-rayed Sonanan, who was in considerable pain from the sharp spines and fins of the little fish that was still thrashing around inside him.
On the X-ray, doctors saw a fish between two and three centimetres long lodged in the entrance to his lower intestine.
Led by Deputy Hospital Director Dr Suchat Thepharak, a team of three doctors held a brainstorming session to decide how to proceed with the delicate removal operation, which was much complicated by the sharp spines of climbing perch.
With the perch facing forward, extracting it tail first would risk the spines or fins puncturing the boy’s intestinal wall. The situation was further exacerbated by the fact that the hardy little fish continued unabated its wriggling struggle for existence.
A frantic search for research papers on similar cases proved fruitless: this was apparently the first case of a climbing perch climbing up someone’s rectum ever recorded in Thailand – and possibly the world.
Doctors first considered pumping anaesthetic gas up the boy’s bottom to knock out the fish, making its retrieval easier. After this plan was dismissed for safety reasons, Dr Bussakon Wangphayon suggested injecting the fish with anaesthetic by sticking a needle up the boy’s rectum, then extracting the spiny intruder with forceps.
If this plan failed, open surgery would be the only remaining option, the doctors concluded.
Decided to go ahead with the injection, the doctors managed to knock the fish out. Then, in a delicate two-hour procedure, they extracted the fish with forceps while continually pushing in the spines inward to prevent them from lodging inside the boy.
At the end of the operation the boy was reported in stable condition, but requiring extended observation owing to the risk of infection.
Asked about the experience, the boy said he would never go fishing again.
Ministry of Public Health Spokesperson Dr Suphan Srithamma advised that when swimming in bodies of water that have small animals like fish and leeches capable of entering through an orifice – especially the anus – people should be sure to wear tight-fitting underwear.
If something unexpected should happen – such as a fish climbing up one’s anus – try to keep as still as possible to prevent it from climbing further up the alimentary canal; then get to hospital as fast as possible.
If the animal has sharp spines there is a risk that it could rupture the intestinal wall and move into the abdominal cavity, which would be very dangerous, Dr Suphan said.
Climbing perch, also known as climbing gouramies, are able to climb out of water and travel short distances on land using gill plates, fins and tail. Their ability to survive on atmospheric oxygen allows them to survive out of water – or even up an anus – for some time in search of a new aquatic home. |
The moral of the story is don't stick fish up your anus,
Moo.[/quote]
Last edited by Steve on Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:01 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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TooManyToasters
Paper_Waluigi
Joined: 20 May 2007
Posts: 10343
HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 1
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| Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:34 pm
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Jesus Christ, that's...
I mean I...
It's...
What the flying shit!? ФֻФ |
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Hellza Ballza
Goron Mask
Dead
Joined: 14 Jul 2007
Posts: 29930
HP: 0 MP: 5 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:56 pm
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I lol'd while reading this. |
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The Axolotl Sympathist
Geno
Werewolf
Joined: 26 Jul 2007
Posts: 8754
HP: 100 MP: 4 Lives: 1
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| Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:29 pm
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Better than getting killed because of a chair anally raping you. |
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Black Yoshi
Vampire
Joined: 17 Jun 2007
Posts: 14673
HP: 31 MP: 10 Lives: 1
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| Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:30 pm
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I... don't even know how to properly respond to this topic. |
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lolz
Shrowser
Joined: 16 Jul 2007
Posts: 8814
HP: 100 MP: 4 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:37 pm
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lol, Phuket.
Anyways, that's pretty *crag* up. |
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Fat Tuper
lovegod703
Joined: 06 May 2008
Posts: 5515
HP: 10 MP: 6 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 10:11 pm
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The only comment I have for this, other than lol is:
DOT DOT DOT
———————————> |
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ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWA
Francine
Joined: 30 May 2007
Posts: 8580
HP: 78 MP: 4 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 10:26 pm
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At first, I was all, "...what"
But then I found it extremely funny. |
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~A color is just a color~
Frozenwinters
Joined: 30 Aug 2007
Posts: 25292
HP: 1 MP: 0 Lives: 4
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| Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 10:37 pm
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I read it twice. Second time was more humorous than the first. lol |
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Negi-chama
Super Tsuki
Vampire
Joined: 31 Jul 2007
Posts: 40464
HP: 100 MP: 0 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 11:09 pm
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I love how they tried to omit his name, but failed.
"At the hospital doctors X-rayed Sonanan, who was in considerable pain from the sharp spines and fins of the little fish that was still thrashing around inside him."
srsly |
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Parabuzzy Queen
Macha
Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 11083
HP: 10 MP: 5 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 11:56 pm
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...
brain bleach plz
o_o |
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darkzero
Rusty Shackleford
Vampire
Joined: 12 Jun 2007
Posts: 16661
HP: 1 MP: 2 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 12:02 am
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stop browsing facepunch ):< °Д° ◉_◉ ʘﮯʘ |
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WHO HA HOO HEY HOOM
Paper Luigi
Vampire
Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 6855
HP: 1 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 12:54 am
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Wow.... Uh.... Ew. |
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Digi's official furry
Lord Rattata
Joined: 01 May 2007
Posts: 8498
HP: 84 MP: 3 Lives: 1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 1:14 am
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Sexy. That is my comment. |
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jacking off
Small Sammer Guy
Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 12146
HP: 10 MP: 2 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:25 am
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| Quote: | | Seizing the rare opportunity, the boys stripped off and jumped in to catch the fish. |
Wow, lol.
Poor guy. First a chair now a fish. what is this world coming into? |
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