digibutter.nerr

[Marker Magikoopa]

Ok, the general guidelines for being a pirate are as follows.

1. No ninjas. Ninjas choose to put up with rules and uphold them. They believe in honor. They are lawful. Pirates see rules as being more like a suggestion for what to do. We believe in freedom. We are chaotic! It is a complete clash of philosophies. Ninja pirates are OK though.

2. At least one crewmember has to stay with the ship at all times. If you are the last one off of the ship, you'll be the one to guard it.

3. The rum (or nearest PG equivalent) is one of our most precious treasures and is only to be sacrificed if doing so is the only way to insure that we will be able to get more of it later.

4. We must do our part to protect the world from global warming.

5. The use of the word "AAARRRRRRRR!" is to be used somewhat sparingly. It's not that it's unpirate-like. We just want to insure that it doesn't lose its meaning like a certain 4-letter word starting with "F".

6. The eyepatches, peg legs, and hook hands are for the pirates who have lost an eye, leg, or hand. Failure to follow this rule will result in a chainsaw granting you the ability to ignore it.

7. You all have permission to attack 4Kids entertainment on sight and with unneccesary force.

8. If any enemy pirates yell "parlay", we are to halt our attacks and begin negotiations. It's not that we want to be civilized. It's that we lessen the chance of a stray canonball blowing up all of their treasure into the sea.

9. There will be no number 9.

10. It doesn't make a difference to us whether you're a hero or villain.

11. Never forget International Talk Like A Pirate Day (Septembe 19th).

12. No hurting the Pastafarians. They think of us the same way that Hindus think about cows.

13. Pirates don't believe in rules. We may follow a set of general guidelines, but that's it.

[Pure-???]

[Marker Magikoopa]

We can use a rusty hook instead.

As for rule nine, I just remembered that being a rule for something else and decided to add it to the list. I think it has something to do with a Beatles song.

[Popple]

With all do respect captain, wouldn't global warming benefit us by expanding the seas to reach larger inland cities ripe for the looting?

[Marker Magikoopa]

Arrrr. It seems that ye has forgotten about the chart.

[Popple]

Aye, but ain't that more the doin' of the chang'n culture than the sea it self?

[Marker Magikoopa]

Do ye WANT to incur the wrath of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

[Popple]

I eard it may have some good treasure, aye? You know how I like me some treasure cap'n.