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[Zelnor]

Someone tell me if this had spoilers...
OH TO HELL WITH IT I RESISTED SPOILERS FOR LIKE TWO MONTHS.

I thought Brawl would be the first game in which I don't know every detail before I buy it...

Oh, heck.

Anyway, I hope this is enjoyable !

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/4845-Zero-Punctuation-Super-Smash-Bros-Brawl

EDIT: Saw it. NO SPOILERS.


But is it really so.. mediocre ?

Though I have to agree... Nintendo keeps just doing the old franchises, and that's it. It gets... somewhat stale. Combine that with the Wii's - I admit it - well, low hardware and after the Hype is off, the guy saying that it'll be dead by 2009 may be right.

Bollocks.

I don't want to buy a new console already. I hasn't got ANY moneys.

[Geno]

Oh, my. Hilarious, but very harsh and true. D:

[Zelnor]

IT IS ? D=

I was so hyped up for it...

*falls on knees*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


*draws in breath*

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
!

[Paper_Waluigi]

He had some good points, put it's about as far from a button-masher as you can possibly get.

[Zelnor]

*teary eyes* The good points being ? I always had fun dragging Melee to my pal, and we didn't give a shit about unlockable characters. The core gameplayi n Melee is epic and solid, so why does he at least think Brawl sucks ?

And, of the 100 comments I read, about 95 % are Yes-Men.

Still, why has Nintendo adopted such a shitty strategy recently ? Mario, Metroid, Zelda, Third Psrty Crap, Metroid, Zelda, Mario, EPIC INVENTIVE GAME, Zelda, Actually a Gamecube game they remapped the Controls for and didn't even bother to rewrite the in-game control references or the manual (I'M LOOKING AT YOU; HARVEST MOON: MAGICAL MELODY !), Metroid, Kart Game, Mario, Metroid, Sports Game, Knockoff, Knockoff, Zelda, Mario, Metroid, Zelda.


Uh-oh.

[Francis]

Zelnor, you put way too much stock into what this guy says. This game fits right into his anti-Nintendo-characters and anti-sequel agendas. Only half of his review was spent talking about the actual game.

SSBB was made for people who play Smash Bros. That fact that you were hyped up for it means that you are they type of person that will love it. But even if you arn't a Nintendo or Smash Bros fan, you can not deny the fun of a zany four player fighter. I dont know how you could play this with three friends and come away saying "bleh".

He claims that there is no difference between a good player and randomly mashing buttons.
a) He is totally wrong.
b) The game is still fun for everyone even when playing good vs. noob. Which is something very few multiplayer games can do.

I do agree with him that having to unlock Sonic and Snake was lame. And that Subspace Emmissary was very repetitive and boring, good thing that there is a ton of other single player content that he didn't even mention.

[Zelnor]

HOORAY ! HOORAY ! SIR FRANCIS SAVES THE DAY !

Yeah, I should've known.. it was, thinking about it, half a rant about how much it sucks...

Still, Nintendo's sequelitis starts getting... stale. I haven't seen that many new things... Don't get me wring, they play lovely, and after a while all games do start to look alike... And play alike...

Now I'm confused.

Anyway, I need to make that chant there into a ballad.

[Francis]

[Almaz]

It's small media shows like Zero Punctuation that find an amazing balance with me. Half of the time my raging fanboy inside wants to chew his head off, and the other half I simply remember it's not so much a review as it is just satire. Simply put, after Phychonauts and its failure for his positive review of it, he had to find a lot of points to criticize on Super Smash Bros. Brawl, just like he did on Super Mario Galaxy. Of course, other than the obvious fact that he can't accept what a franchise is, there are so few points actually revelant to gameplay and entertainment that you can tell from a subliminal message that this is a good game, reguardless of whatever crap he throws on it.

It's reviews like Zero Punctuation that aren't really meant to be taken seriously and are simply supossed to be used for humor purposes, or steroids.

[Zelnor]

And so Mister I taught everyone the true meaning of Christma- I mean Zero Punctuation reviews.


I'm serious. Thanks.

Now somebody explain that to the 200 comments that are, no shit, 90 % "Me too."

On a serous note, even so - What's the future for the Wii and Nintendo ? They kind of shot their opwn leg with the small storage and crippled online.

Curse those people saying "NINTENDO TECH WILL MAKE PEDOPHILES ATTACK YOU CHILLUNS !"

[Almaz]

Nintendo is not driving away the hardcore market, simply opening it up to more peoples. If you're a hardcore gamer, you'll just go buy Wii Points and get some good ol' nostalgia and difficulty.

In addition, Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn was incredibly difficult compared to other games, and was obviously geared toward vetrans rather than the newcomer direction every game but Metroid Prime 3 and possibly Mario Galaxy were going for. (of course Mario Galaxy doesn't really matter, because Mario is the main "let's play together and be alright" character.)

Nintendo has simply made a safer online mode that more parents will support since their children won't be assaulted by morons and pedophiles. Nintendo is playing off emotions, which it usually has done, and does so supurbly. As for actual content for running the Wi-fi service, Mario Kart Wii should be an example of the power of Nintendo's wi-fi.

Back on topic, though, Zero Punctuation usually doesn't go for the main objective, but hides it under a bunch of secondary crap that makes you fall out of your chair laughing like Diddy Kong jumping into a gigantic pile of bananas with an entoxicated Dixie. In other words: it's very sexy, yet unnecessary.

[Spiny]

[carfilledwithfish]

Keep in mind that Yahtzee is paid to be as negative as possible in his reviews. He does make some good points, but the majority of the games he reviews are nowhere near as bad as he says they are.

[Manjew]

That thing is more of an entertainment than a review.

[Almaz]