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[Review] Harry Potter Order of the Phoenix (PAL-Version ;)
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Token Nazi?
Zelnor



Joined: 01 Jul 2007
Posts: 6425

HP: 10 MP: 7 Lives: 1



PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:13 am   Reply with quote

Two or three weeks ago I read some stuff on the engklish and german Nintendo website about how great the game is and stuff. So I decided in a matter of 5 minutes to buy it. Price : 50 €.
I can only say one thing about the game: It SUCKS.
Although I have been fooled by Harry Potter games three times before (and was too stupid to realize that there will be never a god Harry Potter game, no that there will NEVER EVER be a good game that's made after a book or a movie or a comic or something else. There are only good games who were born as games. )

But let me bring you my opinion a bit closer:

Graphics
Not bad, good shading, looks realistic to a certain degree (them growing plants suck), good general looks.
Score : 6 / 10

Sound:
Dumb. Hearing the same clips over and over - from the random stuff the NPC's say to Harry's responses, the blabbering of the portraits (Who repeat theyr monologes everytime you try to use the paths behind them to SAVE time, which is thereby turned meaningless) or the soulless parts of nearly non-existant msuic makes your ears bleed. You'd have more fun hearing the soundtrack of a commercial for coffee machines
Score: 3 / 10


Gameplay:
One word: Boring. The first quarter of the game is one huge tutorial about how to use the Wiimote. Then you'll spend most of the time going around the much to vast castle and castlegrounds, running through huge areas where nobody is and doing stupid little tasks to get the DA members into the rooms. You have to get 28 people up there, a task I haven't completed yet. Watching paint dry is more creative than that.
On a side note, the Wiimote is used poorly. You just swing it in circles, up and down or left and right. The same moves are used in "Duels", which are short, too easy, boring and plain and in the castle itself. Also, you have the marauders map ready for you at all times. So during the three quarters of the game you spend in Hogwarts you'll never have to ever bother thinking of where to go - the map is better than any Walkthrough. Seriously, why didn't they just put a "Press A to win"-Command at the start of the game ? That would've been faster then going through a castle which is detailed and looks nice- but it's also so huge that you'll spend the game running. Which Harry and Co. only do when you press the Z-Trigger, if not they walk briskly at a speed a snail would be ashamed of.
Score: 2 / 10

Story:
Book ? What book ? Oh, you mean the fifth Harry Potter book ! Yeah, I got it on my desk, but didn't bother reading it and just pulled a game out of my ass. Fresly served with no resemblance to the story whatsoever and more plotholes then you can count. We didn't care about making the game like the books in the first four games, heck, we didn't even bother to make them interesting ! We just put Harry Potter and his friends, whats-their-faces, in an environment that looks like a castle, put some cheap non-canon magic over it and - ta-da !- we sell it for 50 bucks. Nothing out, maximum in. I't's nearly too easy to get the money outta them fanpeople.
This way a phone call between Mrs: Rowling and the Game makers would sound if enough people would complain. But they don't.
Long story short: If you read the book you wonder why the game has the tag "Harry Potter" on it. You see the people, but in a story you never read.
Score: - a gazilllion / 10 (Not that it matters anymore, they didn't carethe first four times, why should they now ?)
Okay, serious score: 1 / 10 - The characters are in, thats a point. Next time it might be the game "Harry Potterand the OC we pulled out of our asses to milk your bank"

Overall score:
2 / 10 (There's no real math involved)

Notes:
- I read the game gets better at the end but I didn't play through it (I'd have gotten brain cancer). It might get better, but I don't care. I still hate it.
-Nobody wonders why Luna speaks of Thestrales and what the heck Harry sees there
-I have never seen so many (TM)'s in one Game summary
- Aparently, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were the only ones cleaning the house - they didn't even bother to show anyone else of the order
- You'll never have regular classes except for one time DatDA
- Quidditch ? What's Quidditch ?
-Hogwarts is so big you could just tape the buttons for running and go take a nap. When you wake up Harry will stil not be there.
-Time stands still till you get the DA going
-Harry can never remember any charm but has to relearn them.
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Twilit Mall: Zelnor Mart    
Super ShadowArticuno



Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 29080

HP: 99 MP: 5 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 1:36 pm   Reply with quote

I did the math for you. It's more like a 3.25/10 you gave it. Thanks for telling me how crappy it is.
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A Bucket of Stuff    
LOL I just lost the game!
Tiptron MKII



Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 1876
HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 3:27 pm   Reply with quote

Quote:
Although I have been fooled by Harry Potter games three times before (and was too stupid to realize that there will be never a god Harry Potter game

LOL you said 'god' instead of good. Sorry just had to point that out.
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What's up, slick?
Doo_liss
Vampire


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 1843

HP: 10 MP: 5 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 3:36 pm   Reply with quote

Tiptron MKII wrote:
Quote:
Although I have been fooled by Harry Potter games three times before (and was too stupid to realize that there will be never a god Harry Potter game

LOL you said 'god' instead of good. Sorry just had to point that out.

Erm....ok.....
That was a bit uncalled for...
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Slick Store!    
LOL I just lost the game!
Tiptron MKII



Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 1876
HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 3:44 pm   Reply with quote

Sorry... I really just wanted to get that out of my system.
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What's up, slick?
Doo_liss
Vampire


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 1843

HP: 10 MP: 5 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 3:46 pm   Reply with quote

Well you are a robot and robots need things perfect...
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Slick Store!    
LOL I just lost the game!
Tiptron MKII



Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 1876
HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 3:57 pm   Reply with quote

Quote:
Well you are a robot and robots need things perfect...
*crys at the truth*
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What's up, slick?
Doo_liss
Vampire


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 1843

HP: 10 MP: 5 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 3:58 pm   Reply with quote

Oh sorry! Erm...*reprograms*

Ok, hello Tippi!
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Slick Store!    
oar
Super Maiq the Liar



Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 17919

HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 9:33 pm   Reply with quote

M'aiq watched his brother play it on the 360 earlier. Didn't seem that bad.
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Tamriellic Titles    
Para



Joined: 19 Jun 2007
Posts: 7631

HP: 99 MP: 6 Lives: 1



PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 9:36 pm   Reply with quote

I just saw SUCKS and stopped reading.
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Super ShadowArticuno



Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 29080

HP: 99 MP: 5 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 11:51 pm   Reply with quote

MAiq the Liar wrote:
M'aiq watched his brother play it on the 360 earlier. Didn't seem that bad.


Yeah, but people are trying to rip off little kids who own the wii.
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A Bucket of Stuff    
oar
Super Maiq the Liar



Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 17919

HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:14 am   Reply with quote

M'aiq would have to guess that EA focused too much on making the controller work with the game, and it turned out like it is. The 360 version obviously has better graphics, what with the High Definition, and the game may perhaps be better suited to controller play. So far the game seems like a 6.5-7.5 to M'aiq.

Maybe he'll write one up for the 360 version sometime.
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Tamriellic Titles    
Token Nazi?
Zelnor



Joined: 01 Jul 2007
Posts: 6425

HP: 10 MP: 7 Lives: 1



PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 10:14 am   Reply with quote

Do that if you wish, but the Wii Version is a big No-no. D:
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Twilit Mall: Zelnor Mart    
What's up, slick?
Doo_liss
Vampire


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 1843

HP: 10 MP: 5 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 10:27 am   Reply with quote

Zelnor wrote:
Do that if you wish, but the Wii Version is a big No-no. D:

I read it through and I totally agree with you. But I think that 2/10 is a bit too generous.
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Slick Store!    
Token Nazi?
Zelnor



Joined: 01 Jul 2007
Posts: 6425

HP: 10 MP: 7 Lives: 1



PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:10 am   Reply with quote

Yeah, maybe. But I wanted to grant it pity points. Also it's on the Wii. that deserves 1.9999999 Points. The rest are pity points. Very Happy
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Twilit Mall: Zelnor Mart    
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