Railworks Message Board

Knickers. I’ve just drawn Reader #3232 in the RPS Secret Santa draw. This year I’m buying for a chap who scribbles scores on his two-year-old son’s art, described Papers, Please as “adequate”, and last smiled in 1998*. Perhaps something in his reader file will trigger a gift idea.

Hmm. It appears he “tolerates wasps” and has a “grudging respect for the work of 19th Century sewer engineer Joseph Bazalgette”. That’s something, I suppose. Hang on – what’s this? “During a visit to the Somerset Shoe Museum in 2010, #3232 was overheard discussing Boyle’s Law and representations of Romanians in contemporary videogames”. Now that is interesting. (more…)

FP has never been afraid of asking difficult questions. What’s the capital of Belize? At what temperature does fluid helium I transition to superfluid helium II? How long is a piece of string? If a question needs asking, rest assured we’ll ask it. We’ve spent most of this week doggedly doorstepping wargame developers in an attempt to find out why, in 30-odd years of endeavour none of them have had the wit or wisdom to produce an FTL-style B-17 or Lancaster game. (more…)

The Flare Path turns one this week. Here in the UK that means it can legally get its navel pierced, buy wine gums, point at clouds, and read Knut Hamsun on public transport. To commemorate the occasion there’ll be no game newscasts or inscrutable intros today. The entire column will be given over to quizzes. Dozing adorably beyond the jump are five bushy-tailed Foxers, each with a rather special prize tied to its brush. (more…)

Flare Path at Rezzed. How To Find Us : On entering the main hall, head towards the Prison Architect watchtower, keeping the giant Day Z can of beans on your right. Beneath the Sniper Elite exploding testicles turn left following signs to the disabled toilets. Next to the toilet door is a fire-exit that opens onto Mancini Avenue. Use this exit then cross the street and enter the park opposite. See that big copper beech on the knoll? Under it you’ll find a dozing middle-aged man in a grubby army greatcoat. Spread out on a blanket in front of him will be an assortment of sim and wargame-related bric-a-brac. Peruse said bric-a-brac. If the man wakes, smile nervously at him and quickly retrace your steps.

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Last night I dreamt the sim industry was in the grip of canal mania. You couldn’t move on Steam without tripping over a new barge or waterway for CanalWorks. The forums at SimHQ were thronged with folk debating lock physics and butty boat damage models. Thrustmaster was on the verge of bringing out a heavy-duty HOTAT (Hands-On-Throttle-And-Tiller) controller… Things had gone so far, I was contemplating changing the name of this column to The Tow Path.

How sad it was to wake, and realise that Simulatia had no interest in plodding narrowboats. How galling to have to replace planned pieces on Kanaal Koningen (A work-in-progress Amsterdam- based sim incorporating Seventeenth Century history and tycoon elements) and ‘Idle Women, Vital Work’ (A new add-on from Just Barges) with articles on ZDSim and Over Flanders Fields. (more…)

A responsible sims correspondent with a fashionable haircut and a gregarious disposition would spend this week’s Flare Path talking about F1 2011′s pleasures and disappointments. As I live alone in a hut in the woods and trim my barnet with the aid of peanut butter and tame squirrels, I’ll be devoting the following 1200 words to a free RailWorks upgrade, an imaginary 18th Century naval sim, and the winner of this year’s hotly contested Wargame With Dullest Name competition. (more…)

Ok, this is getting silly now – British railways ticket-pricing silly. No-one was happier than me to hear that DLC-fecund iron horse simulator RailWorks is soon to be blessed with another sizeable free update. Canted tracks, better rolling-stock physics, rainier rain, syrupier shadows, new locomotives, a new route… the list of improvements is longer than a fairly short Canadian Pacific coal train. Bravo RS.com! But why in Brunel’s name, did you have to use the update as an excuse to make the already baffling tangle of train simulator names even more confusing? (more…)