Sure, the kids were curious on what was going on and wanted to see the big bruise on my arm, but... my U.S. History teacher has made everyone sign a contract that involves respecting each other and doing the work.
The kid who punched me... he apologized, I apologized back for a few issues in the past and we shook hands.
Once I got home... with a smile on my face... I told mom about everything today.
SHE GAVE ME MY STUFF BACK! This issue ended A LOT quicker than expected.
I am so happy right now, I could just.... I don't know... I'm too happy right now.
Reading through this topic, I thought up many comforting responses I could include in my post. But it seems as though you do not need such a response any more. I guess it's better that way- I'm quite glad things worked out.
Sure, the kids were curious on what was going on and wanted to see the big bruise on my arm, but... my U.S. History teacher has made everyone sign a contract that involves respecting each other and doing the work.
The kid who punched me... he apologized, I apologized back for a few issues in the past and we shook hands.
Once I got home... with a smile on my face... I told mom about everything today.
SHE GAVE ME MY STUFF BACK! This issue ended A LOT quicker than expected.
I am so happy right now, I could just.... I don't know... I'm too happy right now.
Well, a shitty day has gone from bad to worse. I got slugged by a black kid who was bigger and stronger than I am. My right arm is disjointed, badly bruised and possibly broken. The result? The black kid and I get suspended from school.
As I got home, I was walking into Hell. Mom has taken away the privilege of playing my video games and getting on the computer for... God knows how long. I'm only on at this moment because mom gave me one last hour to be on.
Do not expect me to be on in a loooooong time.... or ever.
My own mother... she screamed the following words in my face...
"FAILURE! LOSER! WEAKLING! STUPID! WORTHLESS!"
And coming from my mom, it's happens true. Now, I feel like my life means nothing to me. I have done no good in my life except be a pathetic, lifeless, dipshit bastard.
I have attempted suicide four hours ago. I wrapped my belt around my neck and cut off the pressure to my head. For five minutes straight. I passed out from the pressure. I just woke up.
I have literally snapped. I can't control myself. I am what I am... Nothing but a worthless pile of garbage.
My family, the kids and teachers at school... They don't give a shit about me anymore. I'm pathetic. I deserve to die.
"Suicide is not the answer." BULLSHIT! I DESERVE IT!
The only thing that ever cheered me up was Digibutter. Now, it's going to be far away from my reach. The Cody you knew and loved is dead inside. His soul is gone. His heart has turned black. He is no more.
Goodbye....
The sun'll come out... Tomorrow.
Bet your bottom dollar that... Tomorrow... There'll be sun.
Just thinking about... Tomorrow... Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow... Till there's none.
When I'm stuck with a day... That's grey... And lonely...
I just stick out my chin... And grin... And say...
Before that happens, I want to take the opportunity to point out that I am very glad you didn't go through with suicide. It worked out in the end, so I hope you can start anew from this point.
I live in Germany. I have never really met you or gotten to know you. But I know through these snippets of life that you posted here that you seem to be in a devilish cycle right now.
Never give up.
I don't have any situation comparable to yours; I sometimes get bullied and then feel like the only thing keeping my body together and living is sheer, pointless willpower, but I have never been beaten up and have a loving and supportive mother and step-father.
I don't think I can really comprehend the anguish that you must have felt...
I don't know if this reply will impact you in any way; I know it sounds cheesy, but...
NEVER GIVE UP.
That's what I told myself when I went stoic-faced and was crying inside, if you let them get to you, they've won. And if you;d kill youself... everyone would be sad. They might see then what they could've done better, but what good would it be then ?
I wish you the best of luck, Cody.
And I am inspired by your perservance, even though I am shocked by the fact you actually attempted it.
And the rest of Digibutter... Why didn't we do something ? He said he attempted suicide, and it all here seemed so... Calm. Collected. I know you said "DON'T DO IT !", but... Shouldn't we have called the Child Protection Service ourselves, or the police ?
Oh, and Cody - I would post the lyrics of "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" here, but that would be just inappropriate.
Shoot me, but I still think that if your mom threatens to hold a knife to your neck for using the computer when you're grounded, and if she expects you to beat people up in order to not be grounded, YOU SHOULD STILL BE CALLING THE DEPARTMENT OF CHILDREN AND FAMILIES BECAUSE YOUR MOM IS AN EFFING PSYCHO.
Before the topic locks, here's something that cheers me up when stuff's getting me down. Listening to Sambamaster's "Sekai wa Sore o Ai to Yobundaze". Seriously, it lifts my spirit up so high that it takes something seriously bad to make it drop.
Before the topic locks, here's something that cheers me up when stuff's getting me down. Listening to Sambamaster's "Sekai wa Sore o Ai to Yobundaze". Seriously, it lifts my spirit up so high that it takes something seriously bad to make it drop.
um this was dead so no need to lock it...until now. why did you bump this again?
