digibutter.nerr

[Super Cyber Mario]

Well, this blog is actually consisting of the past two weeks events, since last week was busy.

(Starting Thursday May 22)

On Thursday I went to a baseball game for a local AAA minor league baseball team with my entire school. It was more hanging with friends then watching the game, so it was a lot of fun.

Friday was a retreat for my entire graduating class, we did normal crap, although we had a homework assignment to make a rocket from a film canister to be launched with baking powder and vinegar, and to make a container of some sort that could protect an egg if it fell off of a roof. Mine survived. Then we got all of our stuff for graduation and our end-of-year stuff.

Tuesday we went to CEDAR *crag* POINT!!!! It was amazing, one of the best days of my life. I was able to hang out with everyone from school (mainly Creepy) and ride some awesome rides.

Wednesday was my graduation, I had honors at 1:00 at which I was surprised to get so many certificates. :/ Then at 7:00 I had graduation mass, followed by a dance. This dance was the last time that I would ever see most of these people, we were parting ways. And after all of the crap from that year I was happy. There were, of course, the few people that I would miss, and it was awesome to hang out with them one last time. At the end everyone began to cry, realizing that we were leaving (It still really hasn't hit me yet. .-. One of the best nights of my life.

Since then summer has been very boring, I hung out with a friend yesterday, but other than that it's been uneventful. Physically speaking.

When school ended I decided to write a letter to someone from our school, a girl, who had become someone very, bad. She became everything that I hated, and I wrote her a message stating what i thought. Her best friend (and one of my friends) got involved and was very mad at me. She then wrote back, not really realizing that I wrote what I wrote out of friendship, not wanting her to turn out the way she was headed, She wrote back very crudely and insultingly. Calling me names, not outright, but in the same way I had called her what she was, but without the manor of class that I used. We will probably never speak again, and it stinks because we used to be very, very good friends.

Then today I figured out that I was not invited to the biggest party of the summer. A "friend's" end-of-the-year party. Almost everyone was invited to it, but I wasn't. So that has put me in a very foul and sad mood tonight. But it seems to have risen all of the crap that's been happening to me lately, with home and school friends. I feel like there is no one that I can let things out to. There's one girl that is a very good friend, very reliable, she knows more things than anyone else out there, I can confide in her. What she doesn't know is that I like her more than that.

All of this stuff has been building on me, and a thought is re-appearing in me that I haven't had in a while, suicide. In the begging of the school year I came, very close to committing suicide, if I hadn't had a last second change of heart I probably wouldn't be here today. Only one person in the world knows that, knew that. That's my other problem, I've grown very close to this site, almost too close, because i feel no one really wants me here, like I try to do my best here and no one even cares, even looks at my posts. I feel like no one wants me here, that I put false hope in this site, even though I know that I will be let down. I almost left this site earlier this week, and I still might. i can't be here when no one likes me. And I know that I myself hate it when people get all emo around the site, but this is honestly how I feel.

HEY YOU! YA YOU THAT DIDN'T ACTUALLY READ IT! I ask you to please comment on this blog, on the content of it and tell me, what do you think of me? What can I do to improve? Just any thoughts you have for me. And even if you don't I thank you for reading this topic. No matter how brutal they are for me.

[Super Cyber Mario]

D: Searchlight'd because no one cares.

[MsDevin92]

I like you, Cyber. Wanna be digi-pals?

It's just that...I can't give you any good help. I'm too much of a depressing influence.

[YagamiMirror]

That really sucks. REALLY sucks. Don't do suicide though, it won't help. So you die, how will that help?

Maybe you should tell her you like her. Also, I like you being here. Don't leave.

[Super Postman]

Look... now I know I said I don't consider you close, but if you EVER have ANY thoughts of suicide, you come to me. Directly PM, Messenger whatever. I'll listen and help as much as I can. you are better than suicide. alright =>

Honestly I think you are a good member, and I would really hate to see you leave, you are one of the gears that turn the great clockworks of digi. Every member is important, even those I heavily dislike( luckily you are on my good side)