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You Don't Mess with the Zohan [Review]
 
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Mister I
Almaz



Joined: 22 Apr 2007
Posts: 19527

HP: 43 MP: 10 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 12:40 pm   Reply with quote

Alright, let's just say this, I've had to be dragged to a lot of craptastic movies lately. From Nim's Island to every dang Dreamworks film made for the last three years, I've kind of lost a good deal of faith in movies. It's been forever since I've been to an absolutely hilarious movie.

That all changed with You Don't Mess With the Zohan.

Simply, Zohan is a hilarious mix of Adam Sandler, random shit that makes you lol, and all that Middle Eastern feuding between two groups. Zohan enter last name here is a supersoldier counter-terrorist with a massive wang who feels no pain and can shoot a hackeysack out of his ass as hard as a normal person can kick.

Of course, when he goes to capture his arch-nemesis named Phantom, he thinks about going to America and living his dream of being a hairstylist. So, like any other good Isreal soldier would do, he plays hackysack with a grenade and fakes his own death, making Phantom a hero and giving Zohan the chance to go to America.

Alright, after this point, the entire plot gets really screwed up. It would take me another several paragraphs to describe all of the random stuff going on in the world of Scrappy Coco, AKA Zohan, so we'll just leave it at that for right now.

Zohan delivers on the perfect level for Sandler's 14-year old fanbase, which I happen to fall perfectly in the middle of. He's crude, he has a horrible Middle Eastern accent, he can eat a bullet and blow it out his nose...the works. The humor, at some points, reminded me of a half-Family Guy (with off-the-wall, unexpected humor) and half South Park (butchering a topic with all the laughs in the world) style, and really, it does a good job...sometimes better than both of the above shows. Zohan is awesome, hilarious, and his innocent nature (ala Billy Madison and The Waterboy) makes him a real card.

Of course, the Israeli stereotypes are heavily enforced here. When you name your store "Going out of business", and instead of 10,000 dollars, you offer "One hundred dollars and new Sony DVD player", then you're going a bit far. When you have up to ten things in the movie as hackysacks, including cats, grenades, and scissors, and use hummace as hair gel and a fire extinguisher, you're pretty much pushing the line to the extent. And Zohan goes over that line, easily.

There are a lot of funny moments in the movie, and at least every 5 minutes, you'll find yourself laughing out loud. It has a few smart jokes, but most of it is random stuff most teenagers would find funny (Decently Funny Joke Spoilers: [spoilers]I want 20 of your wives. No. One? No. A pee pee touch by one? Okay.[/spoilers]).

So, I guess the punch line of this all is, Zohan isn't for everyone. If you're feeling dirty, lazy, or bored one day, then yeah, it'll probably entertain you. If you're looking for many intelligent jokes, this probably isn't for you.

Oh, and just fair warning: if you're against sex jokes, you're going to want to cover your ears for pretty much the whole film.

Overall, I'll give Zohan three stars out of five. Nothing spectacular, but worth the great laugh it gives.
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Temple of I    
lolz
Shrowser



Joined: 16 Jul 2007
Posts: 8814

HP: 100 MP: 4 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:59 am   Reply with quote

The movie was pretty funny overall, but the parts with old lady sex were just sick. Just think, if that were my grandma... OH GOD D:
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Shrowser's Shop    
THE BIRTHDAY GIRL
King Harkinian
Burning


Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Posts: 5620

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:34 am   Reply with quote

I'm dying to see it, but my parents won't take me. They say "wait until it's On Demand."
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The King's Chamber    
Super Cyber Mario
Burning Vampire


Joined: 08 Oct 2007
Posts: 5387

HP: 60 MP: 7 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:13 pm   Reply with quote

I thought that the only good parts were the racist jokes. XD All of the old lady sex was gross, I liked it up until he was in NYC if I hadn't been with Creepy I most likely would have gotten up and left the theater...
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Cyber Shop    
Mister I
Almaz



Joined: 22 Apr 2007
Posts: 19527

HP: 43 MP: 10 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:19 pm   Reply with quote

All parts involving The Phantom were hilarious, though, you have to admit that.
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Temple of I    
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