digibutter.nerr

[MsDevin92]

A rare occurrence was taking place at the abode of the burly, garlic-loving treasure-lover. There were girls present- five, in fact, and all of them pretty damn smokin'...
...Sadly, he wasn't here to see them. They'd made sure of that.

Two of the girls (one with a bandana tied over her short brown ponytail, and one with enough gold in her hair and blue in her eyes to make any beachgoer call her an angel) were pushing a large, gift-wrapped box into his garage.

"Why do WE gotta do the manual labor?" the brown-clad one grumbled.

"Because people with actual brainpower don't deserve such a job," spat a cold voice, coming from a woman in a red dress who leaned her stiletto heels against the wall.

"And because the Cap'n told us to!" the blue-eyed one giggled.

"Look at it zis vay, dahling," commented the fourth girl, taking a sip of her chocolate milk. "Ze Capitain told us that zis could pay off quite spectacularly...Unless zomething has made you stop liking ze gold coins, zat is."

"Razumfrazum...Lucky I put up with ya..."

"Cut the chatter 'n keep at it, girls! Ol' Tubby should be here any second, and I don't plan on 'avin myself an early reunion."

---

A few minutes later, all signs of the girls were gone...

[Almaz]

On cue, the big fatso came by on the Wario Bike, drinking some sort of illegal beverage and dribbling a Goomba between the ground and his fist. HE crashed into his garage, as he normally did, and smashed into his present.

"Eh? Whatsagoinonhere? This another gift from my fangirls?" Wario asked. Which was true, he did have a lot of fangirls - Mona, Princess Shorka, Penny, Waluigi...

[MsDevin92]

Upon impact, the box fell open, revealing a golden globe on a stand.

If Wario remembered at least SOME PARTS of what had happened with Peach and Mario at the kindergarten last night, he'd know what it was...

There was a note taped to the front.

[Almaz]

You expect Wario to pay attention at all? If a zero coin bet got you a thousand coins that Wario would remember that, there'd still be very few takers.

Wario dug into his nose as he looked at the globe. "Eh...shiny, but what's it worth?" he asked himself.

[MsDevin92]

The note read as following...

Dear pesky plumbers Dear garlic-breathed loser (AKA, Wario),

I doubt you remember me, although I don't really care if you do. All you need to know is that we've clashed in the past...But I've given up and accepted that you are the better treasure hunter. As a symbol of my defeat, I give you the one treasure I could never hope to claim...or at least, a chance to claim it for yourself.

This globe is home to the inhabitants of the Shake Dimension, who supply all the ? Blocks in the world with coins. To do this, they use a magical item called the Bottomless Coin Sack. But since it's you I'm talking to, I'll make this short and simple:

Nab the coin sack and you'll have an infinite amount of money just a sack's shake away.

Love (not),
Your sweetest rival

... P.S.: Did I happen to mention a ruthless king has taken over the globe, the Queen, and the coins?
Oh well, I'll leave that all to you and your B.O., loser. >3
Ta~

[Almaz]

Wario laughed before signing his own rendition of, "Another one bites the dust". Needless to say, it made nails on a chalkboard sound like a symphony.

Wario rubbed his hands together as he spat out a huge hammer from his bottomless belly. He was about to whack the globe...

[MsDevin92]

It was just then that a huge collapsible telescope shot out of the side ring of the globe, nearly knocking him over.

[Almaz]

Wario ducked in fear of the telescope, and hit himself with the hammer. He tried to stand up, but conked his head on the telescope.

"Mommy...no more garlic, I've gotta tummyache..."

[MsDevin92]

A little humanoid figure wearing an elfish cape popped out of the telescope in a cloud of gold sparkles.

"Ru!"

[Almaz]

Wario grunted and tried to slug the thing. "GETOUTTAHERE YA LITTLE BEANE...EH?" Wario grunted.

[MsDevin92]

"RU!" D:

The Merfle scampered away, before flying into the air and pointing wildly at the telescope.
"Rururu, ruru ru ru rururururu!"

Somehow, Wario would be able to gather that there was something bad happening on the other side of that telescope, and it involved pirates.

[Almaz]

Wario just sat on his motorcycle and picked his nose. Who cared?

[MsDevin92]

"Rurururu ruru ru ru!"

And the Queen and her bottomless sack of coins had been captured!

[Almaz]

Bingo!

Wario punched the Merfle out of the way and...

...hit his head on the telescope again.

Genius!

[MsDevin92]

x_x

"Ru..."