Lyrics: The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Is finding a Christmas tree
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Angry husband: Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree
The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Man getting over being drunk: Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Exhausted man: Sending Christmas cards Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree
The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Five months of bills! Sending Christmas cards Hangovers Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree
The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Nervous wife: Facing my in-laws Five months of bills! Oh, I hate those Christmas cards! Hangovers Rigging up these lights! And finding a Christmas tree
The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Nervous wife's husband: The Salvation Army Facing my in-laws Five months of bills! Sending Christmas cards Oh, geez! I'm tryin' to rig up these lights! And finding a Christmas tree
The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me: Whining kid: I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! Charities, And whataya mean "YOUR in-laws"?!? Five months of bills! Oh, making out these cards Honey, get me a beer, huh? What, we have no extension cords?!? And finding a Christmas tree
The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me A tired father: Finding parking spaces DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!! Donations! Facing my in-laws Five months of bills! Writing out those Christmas cards Hangovers! Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!? And finding a Christmas tree
The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: A mother: "Batteries Not Included" No parking spaces BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!! Get a job, ya bum! Oh, facing my in-laws! Five months of bills! Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards Oh, geez, look at this! One light goes out, they ALL go out!!! And finding a Christmas tree
The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me: A male couch potato: Stale TV specials "Batteries Not Included" No parking spaces DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!! Charities! She's a witch...I hate her! Five months of bills! Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people! Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh? Get a flashlight...I blew a fuse!! And finding a Christmas tree
The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me: Two men: Singing Christmas carols Stale TV specials "Batteries Not Included" No parking?!? WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH! Charities! Gotta make 'em dinner! Five months of bills! I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it! Shut up, you! FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!! And finding a Christmas tree
