digibutter.nerr

[Francis]

http://omegle.com/

You: nerrrrrrrr
You: greetings mortal
Stranger: HI
Stranger: I CAN COUNT TO POTATO!
You: PASSWORD CORRECT!
You: You have entered Fort Francis
Stranger: I R SPESHUL!
You: do you speaka the englesh?
Stranger: I LIEK CHOCOLATE MILK!!
You: imma hang up now, my mom has to use the phone
Stranger: BRB SOUP

[Aggrieved]

Stranger: confess something to a stranger
You: No.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Lord Krump]

You: hello
Stranger: Are you 55 years old?
You: i like turtles
Stranger: Are you 55 years old?
You: are you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Tyler]

Stranger: VLN!?
You: Hi, it's Vince with the SlapChop!
You: You'll be slappin' away every day once you use this.
You: You followin' me, camera guy?
Stranger: haha you got beat up by a hooker!
You: NO SHUT UP SHE BIT MY TONGUE :(
Stranger: vln?
You: also she had a big throbbing penis and it scared me
You: so i tried to escape
Stranger: I bet
You: but it was too late
You: i had to clean up the blood stains with my shamwow
Stranger: i would have bent over
Stranger: should have used a zorbeez
You: NO *crag* ZORBEEZ
You: BILLY MAYS CAN GO TO HELL
You: HE STOLE MY IDEA
Stranger: haha nah

[Spiny]

You: GREETINGS, STRANGA
Stranger: Welcome to the bad bad bath house.
You: WHATARE YA BUYIN
Stranger: Whaddya Sellin?
You: WHATARE YA BUYIN
Stranger: Whaddya Sellin?
You: WHATARE YA BUYIN
Stranger: Zoophilic Pornography.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.



First session and I already struck gold.

[Emil]

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I have a problem...
Stranger: IM PISSED OF AS *crag*
You: I ACCIDENTALLY THE WHOLE BOTTLE
Stranger: whast your problem
Stranger: ll?
Stranger: www.luelinks.net?
You: Do you know when Battletoads comes out?
You: ....
Stranger: no
Stranger: wait
Stranger: on the ds?
You: No, for the Wii.
Stranger: oh i dont know anything about the wii
You: It comes with the Free Wrist Strap.
Stranger: ecept how to mod it
You: Like Homebrew?
Stranger: yeah
You: I heard people are getting banned for that.
Stranger: noooooo
Stranger: nobody is
Stranger: besides wii doesnt have multiplayer online
You: Like if you use it to Chest in Mario Kart.
Stranger: so who gives a shit
You: True.
You: Cheat*
You: Anyway...
Stranger: ive never really played the wii
Stranger: it sucks
You: YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY... ALL TOASTERS TOAST TOAST!

[Aggrieved]

Stranger: HAI
You: Hi.
You: Can I have your soul?
Stranger: You like popsicles
Stranger: I got a whole freezer full of popsicles in my basement
You: I like popsicles.
You: I prefer souls, but popsicles will work.
Stranger: Ok I have a fun game
Stranger: Who ever can swallow the most tylenol pm wins
You: Maybe later.
You: Now, about that soul, can I have it?
Stranger: Nah
Stranger: Already sold it
You: Aw dang.
You: To who?
Stranger: This dude
You: Really now.
Stranger: yep
Stranger: I got a show on the disney channel for it
Stranger: pretty sweet deal
You: Ooh, sounds nice.
Stranger: I kno right
You: It would seem depressing to live without a soul though.
Stranger: you'd think that
Stranger: but swimming in money and hookers takes away the pain
You: Hm, I guess that makes sense.
You: I've eaten 14 hundred souls, so as you can imagine, I'm never depressed.
Stranger: You must have really bad poop
You: Dear god I have the worst constipation.
Stranger: I know, that must really sucTHE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU
You: GAAAAAH
Stranger: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU
You: GAAAAAAH
Stranger: YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE DEMON
Stranger: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
You: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME
You have disconnected.

Okay, that one was kinda fun.

[Spell Seal]

Stranger: WILLIAM BIRKHEAD
You: SUP NIGGA
You: Wait
You: What?
You: Who the feck is William Birkhead
Stranger: WILLIAM BIRKHEAD

I don't even know

[Lord Krump]

You: ambient music is okay
Stranger: whats up
You: whats down
Stranger: i suppose it is
You: or do you?
Stranger: not shit
Stranger: you
Stranger: do i what
You: you do not seem to grasp the nature of ultimate reality
Stranger: do you think your better than me
Stranger: isnt that a bit presumptous
You: maybe, maybe not
You: this is coming from an alien life-form that is light-years more advanced than human fleshbags are, of course
Stranger: i am the ultimate reality
Stranger: ok
You: I designed the ultimate reality
Stranger: you play war hammer dont you
You: no I play WoW
Stranger: liar
Stranger: i dont
Stranger: i play war
Stranger: with guns
You: dwarves get guns
Stranger: specifically my m16 with 203 40 mm grenade launcher
Stranger: wanna guess what i do for a living
You: you're a coca-cola salesman
Stranger: ill give you a hint
Stranger: im in iraq
Stranger: local time is 0632 am
You: ah
Stranger: what a horrible guess
Stranger: im guessing you work at best buy
You: I already told you; I'm an alien life-form from another world.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: your boring
Stranger: im out
You: alright bye

[Tyler]

oh god

You: nerrrrrrrr
Stranger: please tell me your a guy, i've been talking to too many girls on this
You: yup
Stranger: finally!
You: Why so?
Stranger: asl?
Stranger: i always get other girls here and never boys
You: 19/m/CA
You: i'm 11 inches
You: ;D
Stranger: finally!
Stranger: i always get boys who are 10 inches
You: oh man don't you hate that?
Stranger: i'm 8 inches btw
Stranger: yup
You: CHICKS WITH DICKS?
You: double the fun
Stranger: whats cali like
You: there's trees
You: and sand
Stranger: i'mi from toronto
Stranger: we dont have that here
Stranger: there was a bylaw on trees about 3 yeras ago
You: we have beach bears
Stranger: haven't seen them since
You: they arise from the sand
You: and *crag* people
Stranger: do you have pics of beach bears
Stranger: sounds sexy
You: i was too busy raping them back
Stranger: your my type
You: ;D
You: i put on my robe and wizard hat
Stranger: oh boy
Stranger: thats my only turn on
You: by the way, i'm not a guy
You: i'm a PLANT.
Stranger: AHAHAH
Stranger: nice
Stranger: i have to start other convos now and use that one
You: i may or may not have male genitals
You: the fun part is finding out ;D

[Emil]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: wanna cyber?
You: HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH MIGHTY PUTTY
You: Ahh... *crag*.
You: Anyway, nah, you're probably a dude.
You: As am I.
Stranger: i am
You: So I do believe Cybering would not be in our best interests.
You: Good day sir.
Stranger: unless your into that kind of stuff O.o
You: Lol.

[Lord Krump]

You: What came first; the chicken or the egg?
Stranger: yo
Stranger: your mom came first
Stranger: i lasted all night long
You: You BET my mom came first.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Tyler]

You: Let's discuss vaginas.
Stranger: okay
Stranger: they smell.
You: if they're not properly washed
You: they can, yes.
You: they're toasty
Stranger: do you have one?
Stranger: yes
You: i have one chained up to the radiator in my basement
Stranger: sounds fun
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[BAMFing ARCHER]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL
You: FEAR ME
Stranger: YOU CANT EAT MY SOUL
Stranger: I DONT EVEN HAVE ONE
You: Oh shit
You: Can I at least know where it went?
Stranger: HOWS THAT FOR FEAR
You: I feel like having some soul for a midnight snack later on
You: I WILL MAKE YOU BEG IN FEAR ANYWAYS
Stranger: it was taken far far away
You: Is it, by any chance, guarded by a fire-breathing dragon atop a mountain of doom?
Stranger: it was taken years ago
You: 'Cause I think I might have had it
Stranger: by my only love
You: Oh
Stranger:
You: Then maybe not
You: 'cause I had a soul that tasted like blackberries earlier today
Stranger: jk, i dont have a soul because im a zombie
Stranger: i masturbate with human flesh
You: Wow
You: Never heard of that before
Stranger: also... ahem
Stranger: brains....
You: Sorry, don't have any
You: Gave them away a long time ago
Stranger: oh
You: AKA first grade
Stranger: so
Stranger: i dont have a soul you can steal
Stranger: you dont have brains i can steal
Stranger: lets get married
You: No thanks
You: I need to raise my army of penguins to take over the world first
Stranger: :O
Stranger: penguins dont work
You: Yeah they do
You: We have laser cannons
Stranger: you kill them with fire
You: We raided Area 51 last tuesday
You: Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta play poker with my penguin buddies.
You: Cya
You have disconnected.

[Tyler]

SUPERVAGINA

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Hi.
Stranger: whats up
You: urgh my vagina is bothering me
You: it's getting really hot
You: kinda burns
Stranger: have to tried ice
You: yeah it melted before i got it 2 feet close
Stranger: thats no good
Stranger: what about a freezer
You: my fridge short circuited when i approached it
You: my vagina shoots lasers too
Stranger: thats quite the vagina you have
Stranger: have you thought about using it to fight crime?
You: when i go out in public i'm embarrased because i have to wear superpants
You: you know, like cyclops from x-men, except with pants instead of that visor thing
Stranger: what are superpants
Stranger: oh right
Stranger: well i'd like to get you super naked
You: depends
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yes it does
You: is your penis powerful enough to withstand 500 rads of nuclear radiation
Stranger: i'm willing to try
You: okay
You: *unzips pants*
You: OH SHIT
You: YOUR HEAD
Stranger: OH GOD
Your conversational partner has disconnected.