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digibutter.nerr
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Master of Puppets... The Chaos Heart
Joined: 17 Jul 2007 Posts: 4568
HP: 100 MP: 6 Lives: 22
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 11:07 pm
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I don't know. I feel so lost. My whole life seems to be turned upside-down. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm double guessing myself...I can't think straight. My head always hurts. I think there's something physically wrong with me as well. Blood dripping out of your ear isn't natural, is it?
...I have no future. I'm not good at anything. I hate my life. I hate the world. The few things I want I cannot have. I just want to die, but even that, I cannot do. I already made a promise. But even so, I don't see the point of living. Every day is the same, void of all meaning. What's the point of living without a purpose? You just take up space wastefully. I deserve to die. I'm not significant to the group. Nearly everyone I know would like to see me gone. I'd be doing the world good to die. You may say there's no one who can take my place...well...no one WANTS my place filled. Even you, now, reading this rant. You can't say you truly care about me.
Of course, I've already broken many of my personal vows. What's one more? I don't want to post my life story, but I've already gone to a point where there's nothing left for me in this world. I might as well move on to the next one...
I've though a great deal about how to go through with it as well. I want to disappear without a trace. I just want to fade away, and after a few days, everyone will forget me. I don't want to cause a ruckus.
I'm so confused...
I just want it all to go away. |
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See? Popple
Joined: 30 Apr 2007 Posts: 14001
HP: 99 MP: 8 Lives: 10
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 12:29 am
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You're mother *crag* good at art.
So *crag* use your *crag* talents to give your life meaning.
I'm a *crag* talentless hack and I've found a creative niche of being a *crag* jackass, so someone with legitimate skills should be able to do something constructive.
When I look at the internet all I see is shit.
Shit upon shit upon shit.
Creative people being uncreative for the sake of being a douche bag that I hate.
And I know this to be true, because they are all after me.
I hear them in my sleep.
You are one depressed bastard, and depressed bastards often make the best material.
Instead of channeling that loneliness and confusion into concocting Rube Goldberg machines of death, try expressing what you feel through the pen or the brush.
Also medication helps. |
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Fat Tuper lovegod703
Joined: 06 May 2008 Posts: 5515
HP: 10 MP: 6 Lives: 0
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 5:45 am
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You have no skill? What about art? You're AMAZING! And honestly, I don't want you gone. You've always been one of my favorite members, here. And though it probably isn't mutual, I'd hate to have the knowledge that you hate yourself, much lees that you have the desire to kill yourself!
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Last edited by lovegod703 on Tue Apr 14, 2009 4:11 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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OH GOD Manpersonguything Werewolf
Joined: 30 Jul 2007 Posts: 7249
HP: 100 MP: 8 Lives: 0
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 3:44 pm
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The Chaos Heart wrote: | I don't know. I feel so lost. My whole life seems to be turned upside-down. | go to bel-air
Well, As I say it, Focus on the past and you'll be stuck in it. Focus on the future, you won't be able to make them. Focus on the present, you past and future show prosperity.
Pretty much meaning: Living in your past just makes you not able to go anywhere in life, and focusing on your future only messes up you present and messes up your future in turn.
All in all, focus on the PRESENT, the NOW, not past and future. Because the present MAKES the future. And if your worrying about the future, then you need to focus on the present, and you won't need to worry about the future.
Just focus on NOW not may happen. Things will end up fine if you choose to make them fine. |
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Master of Puppets... The Chaos Heart
Joined: 17 Jul 2007 Posts: 4568
HP: 100 MP: 6 Lives: 22
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:03 pm
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Manpersonguything wrote: | The Chaos Heart wrote: | I don't know. I feel so lost. My whole life seems to be turned upside-down. | go to bel-air
Well, As I say it, Focus on the past and you'll be stuck in it. Focus on the future, you won't be able to make them. Focus on the present, you past and future show prosperity.
Pretty much meaning: Living in your past just makes you not able to go anywhere in life, and focusing on your future only messes up you present and messes up your future in turn.
All in all, focus on the PRESENT, the NOW, not past and future. Because the present MAKES the future. And if your worrying about the future, then you need to focus on the present, and you won't need to worry about the future.
Just focus on NOW not may happen. Things will end up fine if you choose to make them fine. |
But the present is the most painful of all to think about. And if you don't think of the past, you'll just repeat it in the future. And if you don't think about the future, and prepare for every possible outcome, you'll lose.
I'm sorry, but I don't think thinking about the present is going to help. What's good abour my present? I'm hated by almost all. I'm only able to live the way I do because of support by others. And the one person who I want to help...I can't even help myself. I just hate it all. I hate my past. I hate my present. I hate my future. I want them all to die. I want to just be able to sit back, and be a third party observer of the world, occasionally interjecting my ideas, but not playing a role in the least. But of course, this will never happen, and I just have to sit here and suffer through all this pointlessness. Come my 18th birthday, I'm going to be on the street anyway. At that point, my life will pretty much be over. So why even bother suffering to that point? It's not like I'll be rewarded then. I'll just be a useless soul, and like all useless objects, I should be removed. Erased from the history of existance. In 2 years time, I'll only be a problem, leeching of government welfare. I won't be able to see even those I know in life. I'm trapped in a middle place, bound to a fate I cannot escape. |
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Larry Koopa Sam
Joined: 30 Apr 2007 Posts: 16957
HP: 35 MP: 1 Lives: 0
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:22 pm
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No use talking about it either. I mean, how can we help? You don't even want us to. So, go ahead and do what you think is best. Even if it's dieing. |
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lolz Shrowser
Joined: 16 Jul 2007 Posts: 8814
HP: 100 MP: 4 Lives: 0
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:50 pm
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Blood dripping from your ear can mean that you have some sort of brain damage. You may wanna get that checked out... :/ |
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OH GOD Manpersonguything Werewolf
Joined: 30 Jul 2007 Posts: 7249
HP: 100 MP: 8 Lives: 0
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 10:10 pm
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The Chaos Heart wrote: | Manpersonguything wrote: | The Chaos Heart wrote: | I don't know. I feel so lost. My whole life seems to be turned upside-down. | go to bel-air
Well, As I say it, Focus on the past and you'll be stuck in it. Focus on the future, you won't be able to make them. Focus on the present, you past and future show prosperity.
Pretty much meaning: Living in your past just makes you not able to go anywhere in life, and focusing on your future only messes up you present and messes up your future in turn.
All in all, focus on the PRESENT, the NOW, not past and future. Because the present MAKES the future. And if your worrying about the future, then you need to focus on the present, and you won't need to worry about the future.
Just focus on NOW not may happen. Things will end up fine if you choose to make them fine. |
bound to a fate I cannot escape. | Well duh, your lief is going to suck forever now.
You make your life good or bad.
Regardless if you think you can or you think you can't, your right. |
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Token Nazi? Zelnor
Joined: 01 Jul 2007 Posts: 6425
HP: 10 MP: 7 Lives: 1
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Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:19 am
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If blood is dripping out of your ear, you might want to consider a doctor - punctured ear drum, aneurysm, whatever.
Generally, I say search help from qualified personnel, not a bunch of teens from the internet who have their social three minutes. A counsellor, a parent, someone you trust. |
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Master of Puppets... The Chaos Heart
Joined: 17 Jul 2007 Posts: 4568
HP: 100 MP: 6 Lives: 22
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Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 9:13 pm
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Zelnor wrote: | If blood is dripping out of your ear, you might want to consider a doctor - punctured ear drum, aneurysm, whatever.
Generally, I say search help from qualified personnel, not a bunch of teens from the internet who have their social three minutes. A counsellor, a parent, someone you trust. |
Parents are dead, counselor will just bother me...and probably try to look into my past. There's 1 or 2 people that I trust enough to explain completely to them my situation, but they are part of the problem. I cannot talk to them.
And I suppose I trust people here, but that's more because you don't really know who I am in real life. |
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