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[OH SHIT A JUNGLEBIRD]

YOU HAVE A PAPERCLIP, A GUN, AND A CELLPHONE THAT YOU PAID FOR IN MONTANA FOR WITH 43 DOLLARS AND SOME MORPHINE.

HOW WILL YOU SAVE THE UNIVERSE FROM WILD APRICOT PANDAS RPOT HOW THE *crag* ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT?

[Mana7]

Call my black homies, stab their eyes in with the paper clip telling them Ill shoot them if they wont. And then tell them all the apricots are watermelons

[OH SHIT A JUNGLEBIRD]

WILD APRICOT PANDAS PISS FROM ABOVE FLYING HEXACOPTERS ON TO YOUR LEGION OF NIGGERS FOR THERE OWN AMUSEMENT, HOW DO YOU STOP THEM?

[Mana7]

TELL EM ITS THE JUICE OF THE WHITE MEN AND FIGHT THE POWER BY DRINKING IT AND ORALLY RAPING THEIR FAMILIES

[OH SHIT A JUNGLEBIRD]

WILD APRICOT PANDAS DO SUCH, THE ECONOMY INCREASES BY -12%. THE UNITED STATES BUREAU PLACES A BOUNTY ON YOUR HEAD FOR $800,000,000,000,000,000,000 AMERICAN DOLLARS. MEXICAN APPLE THIEVES AND THE JUNGLEBIRD DYNASTY OF BOATS OFFER THERE PROTECTION SERVICES. IN RETURN YOU MUST BECOME AN SECRET AGENT AND SHIT AND GO KILL ZIMBAWE HOOKERS. DO YOU ACCEPT OR DO YOU DECLINE?

[Mana7]

I DECLINE, THEN I *crag* THE MEXICAN APPLE THIEVES

[OH SHIT A JUNGLEBIRD]

THE MEXICAN APPLE THIEVES ARE DISPLEASED WITH YOUR DECISION, THEY THROW YOU INTO A BATHROOM STALL AND BEAT YOU WITH CHAIR-LEGS, THEY TAKE EVERYTHING YOU GOT ON YOU. THEY GO TO MCDONALD'S, HOW DO YOU EXTRACT YOUR VENGEANCE?

[Flar3 Luigi]

RAVERAZE SUMMONS A FLAR3. FLAR3 THEN GOES TO MCDONALDS AND WORKS THERE. HE MAKES ALL THE PRICES EXPENSIVE FOR THE APPLE THEIVES.

[OH SHIT A JUNGLEBIRD]

THE APPLE THIEVES BAAAAW AND BITCH ABOUT RAISED PRICES, THE MEXICAN APPLE THIEVES TELL THEM TO STOP BITCHING AND GO TO ARBY'S BECAUSE THEY HAVE THOSE MELTS AND THERE *crag* AWESOME

[Mana7]

I START A NEW SPORT THAT HAS ITS GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP THAT DAY SO ALL THE RESTAURANTS ARE FILLED WITH DRUNK OLD MEN WHO DONT HAVE HD TVS

[OH SHIT A JUNGLEBIRD]

MEXICAN APPLE THIEVES KILL EVERYONE IN ARBY'S AND STEAL ALL THE MONEY IN THE CASH REGISTER. THE POLICE ARRIVE 4 MINUTES LATER ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT THE MEXICAN APPLE THIEVES ARE IN FACT JUNGLEBIRDS IN DISGUISE, THE COPS ARE BRIBED AWAY WITH DELICIOUS TEENAGE NUDITY. HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO SUCH A CLEVER DEPLOY?

[RED Spy]

It's Junglebird season.

[LudwigVonKoopa]

I JOIN THE *crag* JUNGLEBIRDS

[OH SHIT A JUNGLEBIRD]

YOU JOIN THE JUNGLEBIRD DYNASTY OF BOATS, THEY TAKE A QUART OF YOUR BLOOD AS AN OATH AND YOU BECOME AN SECRET AGENT WHO KILLS ZIMBAWE HOOKERS. YOUR FIRST MISSION AS A JUNGLEBIRD OPERATIVE IS TO BURN A VILLAGE POPULATED BY VIRGIN MARRYS AND LITTLE BOYS NAMED JEFF CHRIS, HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT DOING THIS?

[LudwigVonKoopa]

BUY A FLAMETHROWER FROM MORMON JESUS AND BURN THE MOTHERS ACTIVATING THE BAAAWWWWING OF THE EMO KIDS