digibutter.nerr

[Plastic Mario]

Alright, time for a bit of clarification.

The post should include mostly text, like you would see a real stand-up comedian say. Pictures are allowed, as long as you created them. And please, don't just post one thing, say its funny and walk off. Keep your post limited to a single post. However, the one post can be as long as you want.

Those of you who have posted can do another, longer one.

[Almaz]

Text is all I need...

Mr I: Welcome ladies and germs! First of all, I'd like to tell you all to eat Cream-Filled Sponge Cakes! Remember, they're better than dibs, and don't live in a pinapple.

Random Guy: *whisper, whisper*

Mr I: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY CUT FUNDING?!

Random Guy: *whisper*

Mr I: Oh, uh, I'll take a ham sandwhich (you have to be ****ing kidding me). Well, anyway, I was walking down the street and saw Bowser with his kid. And I said, "Where do you get all of those losers?". Of course, I was subjected to torture, but afterward, he said, "It was a buy one, get seven free sale." Of course, I asked him about all of his kids and how he likes them. He said, "Shut up! I'm trying to watch football Junior!"

Then we took a walk through the park. I asked him about the future. He said, "Looks bleak. I have eight kids now, and one of them is going to high school soon. Then, I'll be walking in the park with Junior, and people will say, "Is that the dad, or the grandad? Or the grandad's grandad? And why is his kid crying in the mud when he's over there, pushing a traffic cone on a swing? Great, now he's taking the cone into his mini-van! Oh no, now his kid is whining, hitting other people and hurting himself, while the cone watches Finding Nemo on DVD. I DON'T WANNA BE LIKE THAT!".

Then, there was crying, and I left. It went as good as if Adam West walked up to Tony Montana: a maranaria spewfest.

You know what really grinds my gears? Vegetarians. LOOK, THE ANIMAL'S ALREADY DEAD, SO EAT IT! PROTEST ISN'T GOING TO DO A THING! YOU'RE JUST MAKING YOURSELVES LOOK LIKE VEGEBATLE-AMERICANS! Indeed, you are all idiots. What's next, a protest about how butter can kill you with abuse? "Hello, my husband is dying. No, he ate too much butter. I can't believe you can't do anything! No, I can't believe it's not butter, either."

World of Warcraft will kill us all. It's all that matters. Killing Arthas is like going back in time to stop Hitler. I mean, I personally wouldn't because he was pretty sweet, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT! It's just idiots cosplaying as their level 70 Tauren Shamans and their Forsaken Priests and their Level 70 Human Hookers. It's all the same: nerds trying to get a date.

You know, my sister has been great to me. She has paid for my carreer, no matter how much it sucks right now. She was the best sister, and brother, I could've ever had.

Well, my time is almost up. I'd like to thank my father...if he hadn't chased after that ball and gotten hit by that milk truck, I wouldn't be where I am today. And...OOH! SHINY RED BALL!

*Chases after ball and runs out of studio*

(Thisawfulactisnotresponsibleforbleedingofeyes,cancer,commoncolds,newallergies,waspattacks,lossoflife,lossofwilltolive,lossofemotion,heartproblems,death,orrandomlyturningintoachicken.Ifyouhaveanyproblems,please,gocrytoyourmama)

[Typhoon™]

eh, nevermind.

i drop.l

[Francine]

Actually, I think I'm going to drop out as well.

[Almaz]

Wow, either I rock or suck!

[Plastic Mario]

[Lord Bob]

I have something that's wierdly funny.

[Lord Vaati]

I'm beging to think I should have made a boot to the head thing

[Mantis15]

I drop...

[Piccolo the Pixl]

So many drops o.o

[Tails Doll]

I don't like Mister I's thing! Reminds me of a bad humor fanfic.

[Plastic Mario]

If people keep dropping, soon, the whole competition will just be dropped.

[Lord Vaati]

I will stay in till the end of this contest that I assure you

[Popple]

Stand together my fellow comedians. Now in this time of darkness those of cowardly hearts and lack of humour will try to convince you the rainbow at the end of the gold is not worth it, but listen my friends! You must cast away all doubts and stand up against the darkness! THIS IS DIGIBUTTER!

[Almaz]

That's right. Well-said Popple