Mr I: WELLLCOME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TO THE 1ST EVER ANUAL DIBIBUTTER GAMES!
Crickets cheer, but everyone else chained to the stands in the audience just moans.
Mr I: SAVE YOUR EXCITEMENT! Well, let me explain how everything works: there are eight teams of eight members competing for one million gold coins. Each week, or whenever else I feel like it, they will compete in a random (or suggested) event. The winning team gets 80 points, dwindling down until the last-place team gets 10. Whoever has the most points at the end of the games win! So, without further adeu, ladies, gentlemen, and angry protesters, here are your teams!
Mario Morons
Mario Luigi Wario Waluigi Peach Daisy Yoshi Toad
Kewl Koopas
Bowser Iggy Koopa Lemmy Koopa Roy Koopa Ludwig von Koopa Wendy O. Koopa Bowser Jr Morton Koopa Jr
Mr I: Due to the reason of a member with a similar name, and Bowser Jr's fan support, Larry Koopa is left out of the Kewl Koopas team.
Donkey Kong Diddy Kong Dixie Kong Kiddy Kong Chunky Kong Tiny Kong Lanky Kong Donkey Kong Jr
Paper Pioneers
Kammy Koopa Tutankoopa Goomba King Tubba Blubba General Guy Lava Piranha Huff N' Puff Crystal King
Final Bosses
Wart Kamek Grodus King Boo Count Bleck Dimentio Cackletta Smithy
Mr I: Due to threats, the Shadow Queen was unable to participate.
Other Losers
Chargin' Chuck Angry Sun MC Ballyhoo Mighty Plumber Hammer Bro Chef Torte Bogmire Jimmy T.
Mr I: And now, for the team that no one expected...
Elite Nerrs (actual members of Digibutter.nerr)
Francis Chaos Dimentio pure-??? Popple Lord Bowser Sandslash Plastic Mario Serverus Snape
Mr I: Now, before I get in a flame wars about my choices, here's what I went through...
1. Total activity 2. Popularity 3. Other random factors 4. COMPLETELY BIASED OPINION
Mr I: Now, before everyone decides to get up and kill me, there are a couple rules for members, and then I'll finally have good news.
1. If you feel uncomfortable with me controlling your character, let me know. I will give full control to you in most events. However, in events where luck can be written, such as a Mario Party event, I will have your character protest, stub his/her toe, die, etc.
2. If you do not want to be in this contest, then by all means, leave. Unless, of course, you just want me to use your diologue for humorous protest. In this case, your spot can be claimed by the first person who opens it.
3. If the Elite Nerrs win the competition, I shall give every member of the team 50 coins. (And I will judge that on overall creativity.)
4. If you are controlling your character, be reasonable. Use things from the Mario universe, not machine guns or The Triforce.
5. NO GODMODDING/INFINATE STARMEN/INSTANT DEATH TO THE OTHER TEAM(S) AND/OR ME! This will result in you getting kicked from the competition.
Mr I: In addition, members not selected to compete can select one of these positions. It's first-come, first serve. The rest of you will be stuck as audience. If these positions aren't filled, then I'll get some random character to fill them (but do you really want Mr Game & Watch as a predictor?)
Co-host (one position open) Predictor (two positions open; predicts outcome, odds that a team will win, no-shots, etc) Head Advisor (one position open)
Mr I: Everyone enjoy your time here! Our first challenge will begin soon enough, so BE PREPARED!
(actually, it's whenever the positions fill up, or whenever I feel like it)
N-joy
Last edited by Almaz on Sat Jul 28, 2007 5:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
Lord Bowser...alright, I'll give you a fully reasonable responce: your kids respect you. Therefore, it would put you at an exceptional handicap. With another Bowser ruling them...well, it's fair. Besides, let's see if you can dominate without the home-field advantage
(Plus, going dress shopping with Wendy would take days if you won)
Mr I: LET US BEGIN THE GAME! MEET OUR TWO PREDICTORS, PROFESSOR E. GADD AND A GENERIC KOOPA TROOPA!
*There's lots of cheering for Koopa Troopa, but people throw broken inventions at E. Gadd*
Mr I: So, what do you guys think? Who will win?
E. Gadd: At a first glance, it would seem that the family teams, Krazy Kongs and Kewl Koopas, would have an extreme advantage. However, I believe that both the endurance, power, and speed of the Fearsome Fortress will take them straight to the top!
Mr I: Koopa Troopa?
Troopa: Mario will win. He always does.
Mr I: Have anything to say about that, Mario?
Mario: I LIKE PASTA! YIPPEE!
Mr I: And there you have it! Wait, who do you guys think will be MVP?
E. Gadd: Boom Boom. He can run, he can spit fire, he can fly, he can flail, and he can BOOM! He'll lead the Fortress to victory.
Troopa: Mario.
Mr I: Strong words. Anyone you think has no shot at all?
E. Gadd: Losers. The name says it all.
Troopa: Pioneers.
Mr I: And there you have it! Everyone enjoy this cliffhanger, as we're about to announce the competition, BUT WAIT FOR A WHILE! Drum roll please...
*Troopa starts playing a drum*
Mr I: MARIO KART!
*Lots of cheering*
Mr I: Alright, here is the main outlook for the competition: you create a go-kart out of anything you can find, with as many weapons as you want. It will then be judged by myself, the miserable predictors, and Harxsa!
E. Gadd: HEY!
Mr I: Then, you simply must race on a random Mario Kart track. Finally, the competition will end with an all-out battle. Elite Nerrs...BEGIN!
CD: Ah ha ha... let the true ingredients for destruction come together at last! *snaps fingers, and materials appear*
CD: ... Plastic? Oh no, no, no. This will not do. *floats off*
*... reappears in several minutes with a toolbox and some metal sheets*
CD: Let the construction begin... by MAGIC! *raises hands into the air, and the tools assembles themselves and begin sawing, grinding, and hammering the metal sheets into definable shapes*
--- 1 hour later. ---
CD: Behold! *curtain is lifted* The Dimension Traveler!
The newly constructed kart gleams fierce violet in the sunlight. The plastic has been taped onto various parts of the kart, and small fires are lit just beneath small trays in various places. As the heat melts the plastic, the plastic turns into goop, which runs into the waiting containers. The fire then keeps the goop heated, and the holding containers are attached to loaded, miniature catapults.
CD: Complex! Unnecessary! Perfect! There are few things more satisfying than launching hot plastic at your opponents. Cheap, affordable justice!
There are various gears turning along on the kart's rear.
CD: And of course, it can teleport. Well, I haven't perfected it yet... that is, it can only really teleport a few yards,and very infrequently, considering that it uses up so much power. But here we have another beauty...
And indeed, there are shimmering silver discs set into the front of the kart.
CD: These discs can expand to protect me from attacks that come from a kart's backside, as well as be fired at cars ahead like deadly throwing stars. I only have three, though, and thus I only get three chances to attack with them.
CD: ... Plastic? Oh no, no, no. This will not do. *floats off*
PM: Oh, THAT'S just great. Ah well...
*Cues, and a huge brick of plastic appears in front of me*
*Takes out a hammer and chisel*
PM: This is gonna be good.
*10 minutes later*
PM: Ta daa... I present to you... The Fiberglass Fury! Not only is it specially finished with Plastic Mario-type plastic, making the outside completely fireproof! And my favorite part...
*Snaps fingers, and a fairly large Mario statue pops out of the back, it appears to be doing the can-can*
PM: This baby will kick away any and all shells the fly at the back of it! Unfortunately, I made the mistake of installing some of the boosters in the statue... If this thing gets destroyed...
Anyways, back onto the good parts, This small pipe sticking out the bottom will drop a good amount of superglue. It'll hold down the wheels of anybody passing right behind me.
Finally, there is a blade, mounted sideways on the front, If I pull this lever, it swipes in front of me, taking a full 180 degree slash. But it takes a lot of power, and heats it up a bit.
In any case, that's my kart. Feel free to take out your anger on it, but only with flamethrowers. After all, I don't want to waste the fireproof function of it.
(Congrats at saving your team from the fate of another team. I'll now do most of the ratings)
Mr I: Very shiny. Seems a bit lightweight, though. And, how is molten plastic more effective than Lord Bowser's Fire Breath? Or one of Snape's spells?
E. Gadd: YABOO YABOO! IT'S WONDERFUL! AND IT CAN BE MADE ON A BUDGET!
Koopa Troopa: Shiny...
Scores:
Mr I: 8.5/10 E. Gadd: 10/10 Koopa: SHINY/10
Overall: 9/10
Mr I: Good overall. This should really help your team.
(Back to the match, one hour earlier)
Mario Morons
Mario: I'M-A MARIO! YIPPEE!
Daisy: Alright, everyone with a brain, raise your hand.
(Luigi, Wario, and Yoshi raise their hands. Peach is playing patty-cake with Mario, and Waluigi is cowering behind a rock. Toad is making faces at Peach.)
Daisy: Alright, we just need some materials from...
(Daisy sees an empty supply box)
Daisy: WHO ATE ALL OF THE SUPPLIES?!
Yoshi: Yoshi see food, Yoshi eat food.
Wario: I helped! Because it was eating.
Daisy: WE'RE DEAD!
Luigi: Wanna just hope for a miricle?
Daisy: What else can we do?
Kewl Koopas
Bowser: Alright! Half of us work, and half of us go out for smoothies. I CALL SMOOTHIE TEAM!
Other Koopas: I CALL SMOOTHIE TEAM!
Morton: I am calling, declaring...
Bowser: MORTON GETS TO BUILD!
Morton: Drat, darn, dang, d**n, Sh**, F***,...
The others: 0.0
Bowser: Who else stays will be done by a vote...
(The vote ends up with Ludwig, Wendy, and Iggy staying)
Bowser: BYE!
(Bowser, Lemmy, Junior, and Roy flee)
Ludwig: Alright, let's try to do something!
Morton: But, what can we, our group, the Kewl Koopas, the Koopalings and King Dad...
Ludwig: SHUT UP, BIG MOUTH!
(Five minutes later, Ludwig has a Bowser Shell with wheels, and Morton on top)
Ludwig: Alright, now Iggy will install the fireball cannons while the rest of us go out for smoothies.
Iggy: WHY CAN'T WENDY HELP ME?!
Ludwig: She'll complain.
Iggy: Point taken.
(Ludwig and Wendy leave as Iggy installs Fireball cannons, and Morton gasps for air)
Fearsome Fortress
Boom Boom: Let's DO THIS!
Whomp: OOR!
Thwomp: OOR!
Dry Bones: Alright.
Bob-omb: SS-BOOM!
Gold Fuzzy: BINGO! BOING! SPRING! ZOING!
Reznor: Spinny, spinny!
Boom Boom: Great...only Dry Bones has a brain.
(Thwomp accidently crushes the supplies)
Boom Boom: We're dead.
Dry Bones: WAIT! WE CAN DO SOMETHING!
Paper Pioneers
Kammy: Alright, here's what we do: an extreior of block, held together by lava. Then, Lava Buds decorating the sides, Crystal Bits at the back, and a cannon to...uh....shoot stuff.
Goomba King: Or, we can steal some other team's awesome kart.
Tutankoopa: AGREED!
Kammy: Suit yourself...
(Goomba King and Tutankoopa go off to steal a Kart, while the rest of the team is at work improving the Block Kart)
Final Bosses
Wart: HEY! WE GO LAST! IT'S TOP-SECRET!
Other Losers
Chargin' Chuck: Who has raced before?
Mighty Plumber: FASTER THAN A SPEEDING DRAIN LEAK, MIGHTY PLUMBER CAN DO IT ALL!
(Mighty Plumber quickly builds a kart of pipes)
Goomba King: WE'LL BE TAKING THAT!
MC Ballyhoo: OOH! THAT WON'T BE HAPPENING!
(MC Ballyhoo shoots Goomba King and Tutankoopa back to their group with the Star Rod)
Paper Pioneers
Goomba King: We messed up.
Kammy: QUICK! THE HOUR'S ALMOST UP! GET NEAR THE FRONT!
Finally, the hour ended...
Mr I: Alright, we'll start with the Mario Morons.
(The Mario Morons come out with nothing)
Mr I: What happened?
Daisy: Uh...our Kart is made of air, or we have none.
E. Gadd: Idiots.
Mr I: That was so pathetic, I think it gave me cancer!
Koopa Troopa: Roomy!
Mr I and E. Gadd: -_-
Total Judge Score: 0
Mr I: (Please, dear lord them them have a kart) Next! Other losers!
(The Other Losers come out with a giant mess of pipes with wheels made out of disco balls and reinforced with pigskin)
MC Ballyhoo: THE KART OF ALL KARTS! THE RACER OF ALL RACES! WE CALL IT, THE MIGHTY PIPES!
Mr I: Neat, fireproof structure...what's it do?
Mighty Plumber: FASTER THAN A FLYING WRENCH, IT SPEWS OUT A SLICK OF SEWER WATER!
Chef Torte: Ze main engine is maid from ze chef's grill and ze Angry Soon's heat!
E. Gadd: Any offensive capabilities?
Hammer Bro: HAMMERS!
Chargin' Chuck: We also added some darts, footballs, and music.
Jimmy T: AW YEAH! GROOVE OUT!
Mr I: Entertaining, good power source, great external structure, and usefulness of every member. Though, not using the attacks of Bogmire or the Angry Sun might hurt...
E. Gadd: Awesome.
Troopa: Reminds me of home...
Final Score: 9
Mr I: Alright, let's see the Fearsome Fortress.
(Boom Boom and Dry Bones are pushing Whomp on wheels to the judges)
Boom Boom: This is, uh, Whomp. He moves, uh, slow. And spits rocks out of two ends...we're doomed, aren't we?
Mr I: Actually, one team didn't even make a kart.
Dry Bones: We got lucky!
E. Gadd: No comment.
Koopa: Good effort!
Final Score: 2
Mr I: KEWL KOOPAS! COME ON IT!
(Ludwig is driving a large Bowser Shell. The Koopalings are all playing inside, except for Morton, who is stuck on top with duct tape on his mouth and a microphone.)
Ludwig: I call it the Koopa Killer! OHHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Mr I: Impressive in size...what's it do?
Ludwig: The power of Lemmy running on his ball like a hamster runs this thing!
Inside...
Lemmy: If I don't run, I don't win. If I don't win, I don't eat! Gotta keep running!
Back outside...
Ludwig: This baby also cranks out two large fireball cannons, a Bowser-claw grip, and one more secret weapon we won't reveal.
Mr I: Morton?
Ludwig: YES, MORTON!
Overall Score: 8
Mr I: Alright, the Krazy Kongs!
(The kongs drive up inside a giant banana car)
Mr I: And this is?
Chunky: SOMETHING THAT I'M SCARED OF!
Lanky: I HAVE FIVE FINGERS!
Dixie: *sigh* It's the Banana Booster. It's powered by the Crystal Coconut, and it spills Bananas out its backside.
Overall Score: 6.5
Mr I: PAPER PIONEERS!
(Kammy drives up with a giant car of blocks)
Kammy: This is the Ultimate Roadblock. It's about five stories high, has Lava Bud spewers, Ice spewer crystal bits at the back, and a cannon! Oh, and it's powered by Chain Chomps and it floats with Ruff Puffs.
Overall Score: 7
Kammy: Wha?
Mr I: Sorry, but one team has a Hammer Cannon, and I think the kart can blow up easy. I gave it a four.
E. Gadd: I gave it a five.
Koopa: BIG! 10!
Others: -_-
Mr I: Last up...THE FINAL BOSSES!
(The final bosses pull up inside a giant spaceship)
Everyone: 0.0
Wart: WE'VE GOT SLEEPY SHEEP SLICKS, SHRINKING CANNONS, SCREAM-O-VISION, GIANT HAMMERS, A LAVA SLICK, LIGHTNINGRODS, AND MAGICAL BEAM SHOOTERS! It's powered by the Dark Prognosticus.
Count Bleck: Count Bleck liked that part...
Total Score: 10
Mr I: And that closes it. But to decide a tiebreaker...CHUCK! CALL HEADS OR TAILS!
Chuck: TAILS!
(Of course, it lands on heads)
Mr I: The first round of points goes as follows:
Final Bosses: 8 Elite Nerrs: 7 Other Losers: 6 Kewl Koopas: 5 Paper Pioneers: 4 Krazy Kongs: 3 Fearsome Fortress: 2 Mario Morons: 1
Mr I: The racing round is up next. You DON'T wanna miss it!
(Lord Bowser, Chaos Dimentio, Serverous Snape, and Popple take the Dimention Traveler, while Plastic Mario, pure-???, Francis, and Sandslash take the Fiberglass Fury)
Mr I: Ready...GO!
(The cars with engines fly out. Since they have no kart, the Mario Morons just run. Actually, it's more like Daisy is running, Mario is drooling, and everyone else is trying to drag Wario. The Fearsome Fortress is getting nowhere)
Boom Boom: FORGET IT!
(Boom Boom lights Bob-omb. They shoot through most of the level. Meanwhile, Mighty Pipes is winning...by moving at three miles per hour.
MC Ballyhoo: OH, THE EMBARASSMENT OF ALL IDIOCY! WE'RE WINNING SO EASILY!
Mighty Plumber: THE ULTIMATE DRAIN CAN SLIP UP ANY CAR!
(However, the Ultimate Roadblock is just floating over it all)
Kammy: FIRE THE GOOMBAS!
(The Goomba King shoots a cannon, which spews Goombas in front of Mighty Pipes)
Chargin' Chuck: OH CRUD!
(Mighty Pipes fall off the edge)
Angry Sun: SHUT UP AND TELL ME WHERE WE ARE!
Chargin' Chuck: Don't worry: Lakitu will rescue us soon enough...
Meanwhile...
Mr I: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FORGOT TO GET LAKITU?!
E. Gadd: Oops.
Koopa: Pretty butterfly...
Back on the race...
Ludwig: Zis is so easy!
(Taking a lead by spinning around the mountains, the Koopa Killer is able to get through the mountain part without any problems.)
Roy: KEEP THE POWER COMING, LEMMY!
Lemmy: Huff...puff...
(However, just as they are reaching the finish line, the shell stops)
Ludwig: ARG! WHAT'S WRONG?!
(Lemmy has become unconscious from exhaustion)
Ludwig: Alright, who can take his place?
(Everyone turns away)
Ludwig: Alright, raise your hand if you can't do it because of brainfreeze...
(Everyone but Iggy raises their hand. Iggy just faints)
Ludwig: Alright, we're doomed.
Bowser: Why?
Ludwig: WE FORGOT TO PUT IN A DOOR!
(Meanwhile...)
Thwomp: PUSH!
(Since Bob-omb ran out of power, Boom Boom has to push everyone else)
Whomp: PUSH!
(In the Dimention Traveler...)
Popple: This is in the bag, see?
Lord Bowser: YOU'RE ALL IDIOTS!
Chaos Dimentio: Yes, this is just the tip of the iceburg, dear gents. For soon, we shall reap in a bounty of coins!
(Suddenly, Mario jumps on)
Mario: It's-a me, Mario!
Everyone: nnnnnnnnno!
(Mario pushes a button. The Dimention Traveler teleports over a cliff)
Chaos Dimentio: Uh...ciao!
(Chaos Dimentio saves himself by teleporting away)
Popple: YEAH!
(Popple gets a hangglider. Somehow, Mario is grabbing on)
Snape: Goodbye.
(Snape teleports away)
Lord Bowser: YOU'RE ALL ON MY LIST OF HATRED, YOU IDIOTS!
(Meanwhile...)
Count Bleck: This shall be easy, exclaimed Count Bleck.
(In less than one second, the Final Ship is at the finish line)
Wart: WE RULE!
Ludwig: LAUNCH THE WEAPON!
(Morton's duct tape falls off)
Morton: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!
(Suddenly, the Final Bosses' giant spaceship explodes due to the amount of sound, causing them to fall into a gorge)
Kamek: Crud...
Roy: TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!
(More duct tape seals Morton's mouth yet again)
(Meanwhile...)
Reznor: PUSH!
(In the Fiberglass Fury...)
Francis: NERR!
pure-???: This'll be simple
(The team easily cruises by the dumbed-out cars)
Sandslash: Easy victory...
(Meanwhile, the Ultimate Roadblock is approaching the finish line)
Kammy: In the bag.
Crystal King: Don't say that.
Kammy: Why?
(Suddenly, the Koopa Killer fires hammers at the blocks, blowing up the kart and sending it down a pit)
Kammy: Crud...
Kamek: THAT'S WHAT I SAID!
(Both kiss foreign-style, FOR NO REASON! Meanwhile...)
Whomp: PUSH WHOMP! OOR!
(Meanwhile...)
(The Banana Booster is neck-and-neck with the Fiberblass Fury)
Francis: DIE!
(Francis lashes his tounge out at the Banana Booster. The blades then chop the wheels out, making the booster useless. The Nerrs somehow avoid Morton and cross the finish line.)
Mr I: FIRST PLACE GOES TO THE ELITE NERRS!
(The rest of the team, along with their kart, is rescued. Suddenly, Mario appears, being chased by the mob that is his team. Even Wario is chasing him. They all cross the finish line)
Mr I: By some insane amount of luck, the Mario Morons get 2nd place!
(The Fearsome Fortress finally pushes all the way to the finish)
Mr I: My god...3rd to the Fortress!
Boom Boom: Wha?
(Boom Boom faints)
Mr I:...alright, I guess no one else can finish. So, I'll dole out points depending on who got eliminated, and how close they were to the finish.
Elite Nerrs: 8 Mario Morons: 7 Fearsome Fortress: 6 Kewl Koopas: 5 Krazy Kongs: 4 Paper Pioneers: 3 Final Bosses: 2 Other Idiots: 1
Total Scores:
Elite Nerrs: 15 Final Bosses: 10 Kewl Koopas: 10 Fearsome Fortress: 8 Mario Morons: 8 Krazy Kongs: 7 Other Losers: 7 Paper Pioneers: 7
