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cool Lord Bob Vampire
Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 21056
HP: 61 MP: 8 Lives: 5
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 8:23 pm
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Oh wow. The Koopa Bros. How did Luigi get caught by those morons? |
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The Dharma Initiative seco10
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 348
HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 0
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 8:27 pm
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Should I keep going? >_< |
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cool Lord Bob Vampire
Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 21056
HP: 61 MP: 8 Lives: 5
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 8:29 pm
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Let the audience wait. Kill them with suspence. |
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Sonic the Hedgehog Vampire
Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 742
HP: 5 MP: 0 Lives: 0
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 10:36 pm
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Noo! Keep going! |
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cool Lord Bob Vampire
Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 21056
HP: 61 MP: 8 Lives: 5
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 7:08 am
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Might I suggest killing someone with a refrigerator for the fun of it? |
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MintCream Vampire
Joined: 13 May 2007 Posts: 367
HP: 90 MP: 10 Lives: 1
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 7:51 am
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Dramatic! o: |
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The Dharma Initiative seco10
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 348
HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 0
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 9:59 am
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tarara -> New chapter =D
Murder in room 252 Chapter 6 – The Excess Express (1)
There was a brand new train in Toad town. The Excess Express. Yes a great train. Mario knew it, he had already been in one on Rugeport but this one was different. It was even bigger than the last one. If he had to go to Dry Dry desert he had to use the train.
He arrived at the train station to see the following people: - Zip toad the famous toad actor. - Toodles the rich toad. - Heff .T who was going to a “eat all you can” contest. - Goldbob along with his family. - Frankie and Francesca in a brand new honeymoon. - Koopley Koop’s dad who wanted some vacation.
And of course the workers there: - Waitress, waitress - Shimi, cook
Mario had a 1st class card from Don Pianta that allowed him as the name says to be on 1st class.
Mario had his own room, room 252 the last room in the hallway.
He entered the room to see a little toad jumping over the seat.
Little toad: Yay! I’m in a train! Mario: Erm…hi I think you are in the wrong room little kid. Little toad: No, I’m not! And my name is Phil. Mario: Well Phil my ticket here says that this is MY room. Phil: Well, my dad says this is MY room. Mario: Where’s your dad?
Phil: I don’t know, he told me to wait here. Many days have passed though.
Mario understood. Phil’s dad had abandoned his own son. But he couldn’t help the kid. It wasn’t his problem plus he was very tired.
Mario: Look kid, I think I saw your dad over the hallway. Phil: Really? Cool thank you mister.
Phil ran to the hallway to se nothing. He was about to tell something to Mario but he noticed that he was already inside and had locked himself.
Phil: You’ll pay mister! Mario: Sorry kid I’m not in the mood.
Phil felt very angry, he ran to the bathroom.
Mario: Geez…
Someone knocked the door suddenly
Mario: I told you kid, I’m not in the mood. Toodles: Oh Mario it’s me Toodles, sorry to bother you.
Mario opened the door.
Mario: Hi there…so what do you want? Toodles: I have a mission for you; I want you to pay close attention to this room. Just…be careful ok? Mario: Ok… Toodles: Bye then. |
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The Dharma Initiative seco10
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 348
HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 0
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 11:27 am
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Is it...good? Rate my Fanfic >_<.
1 to 10 =o. |
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Lifeless Intellectual Crappy Shifty Luigi Dead
Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 2619
HP: 0 MP: 4 Lives: 0
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 12:13 pm
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Fantastic-o! |
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The Dharma Initiative seco10
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 348
HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 0
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 12:58 pm
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Murder in room 252 Chapter 7 – The Excess Express (2)
5 days of pure and only Excess Express. Yes, Mario was scared; the Koopa bros. were on Dry Dry desert they weren’t on their fortress. The desert was much bigger and it would take Mario a lot of time to find Luigi.
Speaker: Ding dong ding dong; attention everyone dinner will be served in one hour. Thank you.
Mario was starving. He didn’t eat lunch nor breakfast he sure was starving plus the food of the Excess Express was delicious. As the cook, Shimi, cooked.
Mario sat on a table and waited for the waitress to arrive.
Waitress: Hi, how can I help you? Mario: I would like a coke and some fried mushrooms. Waitress: Ok.
Mario ate everything really fast and had to use the bathroom.
Mario: Phew…
Suddenly the lights turned off…
???: AAAA! ???: Who are you!? ???: Hands off you retard.
Lights turned on again.
Waitress: My earrings! My shell earrings! They are gone! Mario: What did just happened here? Toodles: Well technically someone stole the Waitress’s earrings when the lights turned off. Heff .T: Yeah and it ruined my dinner. Zip: So much problems for a pair of earrings? Waitress: Look you retard, if I don’t find my earrings none of you will eat. Shimi: Yes, you won’t!
Heff. T looked scared; He decided to look for the earrings.
Toodles: My…Thieves on the train. Fabulous. Goldbob: Could you remain in silence? My son is trying to sleep. Silvia: Yeah. Shut it will you? Waitress: Not until I find my earrings.
Mario suddenly remember about the little kid.
Mario: Hey what about the little toad kid? Toodles: Excuse me? Mario: The kid toad; Phil. He was in the train this morning. Waitress: Mario I checked the list of passengers and there is no Phil. Zip: Yeah, I have been since yesterday and still didn’t see anything. Mario: B-but he was in my room! Toodles: Mario there is no Phil in the train.
Mario was shocked. He stayed still for a while and suddenly the lights were off again. But this time blood was everywhere and in the food. |
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Lifeless Intellectual Crappy Shifty Luigi Dead
Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 2619
HP: 0 MP: 4 Lives: 0
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:57 pm
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Nice! |
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The Dharma Initiative seco10
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 348
HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 0
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 3:29 pm
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Murder in room 252 Chapter 7 – The Excess Express (3)
Mario’s eyes were closed. He wanted this to end, but he couldn’t stop it. He opened little by little to see everyone screaming and crying.
Huff .T was dead. There wasn’t blood, actually it was ketchup. Huff had been poisoned. And it all seemed to be Shimi.
Shimi: Don’t look at me Mario, I didn’t do it! Toodles: Then who did it? Shimi: How can I know? I just cook! Zip: Yeah poisoned food.
Shimi started crying. He was a very famous cook, he wouldn’t risk his career.
Silvia: What about the waitress!? Waitress: Me!? Silvia: Yeah you. You could have killed him because you were so angry about you earrings. Waitress: I wouldn’t, anyway my earrings got stoled after he ate. Silvia: Well…you did it anyway! Mario: Calm down. Don’t you remember we were the only ones here?
They all look to each other.
Toodles: Yeah that leaves us to 4 suspects. Frankie and Francesca, Koopley and Bub.
Silvia: My son!? He’s only 5! Mario: C’mon let’s be serious. I don’t think Koops dad would do something like this. And Frankie and Francesca are sleeping.
They were all confused. Guards called the police and arrived the next morning. The train stopped in riverside station. They were all nervous…
Pennington: So…what’s the name of the victim? Cop: Huff .T detective. Pennington: When did the murder happen? Cop: Well around midnight, and the lights turned off. That’s what they told me. Pennington: Hmmm… So you say Mario is here? Cop: Yes.
The cop led Pennington to Mario’s room at the first class.
Mario: Pennington! You arrived. Pennington: Yes, yes. Mario: So, you are tying to solve the mystery? Pennington: That’s right; I have my doubts right now if it is the kid or the couple. Mario:…Okay. Pennington: I must leave now. I shall investigate this later. Bye Mario. Mario: Bye…
Mario was worried on what would happen, he still remembered that kid; Phil.
Mario jumped from his seat of excitement.
Mario: I know who killed Huff! |
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Mimi!!! Vampire
Joined: 20 Apr 2007 Posts: 679
HP: 90 MP: 10 Lives: 0
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 3:54 pm
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It's really good, but one thing, its little unrealistic for Luigi to want to propose to Peach when he's trying to keep Daisy from knowing he's cheating on her, and what about Mario? What would he say, "Hey bro, you're invited to a me and your Girlfriend's wedding" |
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The Dharma Initiative seco10
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 348
HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 0
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:07 pm
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Mimi!!! wrote: | It's really good, but one thing, its little unrealistic for Luigi to want to propose to Peach when he's trying to keep Daisy from knowing he's cheating on her, and what about Mario? What would he say, "Hey bro, you're invited to a me and your Girlfriend's wedding" |
They wanted to marry in secret. Well at least Luigi wanted.. |
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Mimi!!! Vampire
Joined: 20 Apr 2007 Posts: 679
HP: 90 MP: 10 Lives: 0
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:09 pm
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So why didn't he just dump Daisy? |
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