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WHO HA HOO HEY HOOM
Paper Luigi
Vampire
Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 6855
HP: 1 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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 Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 9:16 pm
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Goomb, one of my RP characters Goomb, needs his past revealed. So here it is.
PROLUGE
Mater Fuju, the lead Ninja master in the secret palace in the mountains, was on a walk one day. He saw a whole bunch of Koopas beating up a little baby Goomba. He shooed them away and wondered what to do. He looked like he had no parents. Maybe he could take it back to the palace.... "What if it grows up and he eats everyone?", He asked out loud", "Or maybe he won't like the palace?"... "We'll just have to find out", he said and carried the little Goomba home. |
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WHO HA HOO HEY HOOM
Paper Luigi
Vampire
Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 6855
HP: 1 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 9:25 pm
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Chapter 1
Master Fuju took the Goomba home to show it to the other elders. They were shocked to see that Master Fuju had brought an outsider into the palace, but were surprised how friendly and playfull it was. "Very splendid!" said one. "Pretty cute", said another. "UGLY" said little baby Frank. "Frank!", yelled his mother. The elders decided to keep the Goomba, and name him "Goomb". Goomb waddled over to baby Frank and started playing with him. "They seem to be making friends with each other", said Master Fuju. "I guess it can't be so bad...", said one elder. |
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See?
Popple
Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 14001
HP: 99 MP: 8 Lives: 10
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 9:27 pm
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I'll rate it after a few more chapters, see? |
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WHO HA HOO HEY HOOM
Paper Luigi
Vampire
Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 6855
HP: 1 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 9:29 pm
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Eh? Ok, i've planned a couple chapters. |
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WHO HA HOO HEY HOOM
Paper Luigi
Vampire
Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 6855
HP: 1 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 9:35 pm
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The rest is basicly Goomb growing up.
Chapter 2
Everything was going great, exept Goomb continually got lost in the large palace. "Goomb! Goomb!", Master Fuju called as he looked for him. "(Baby noises)", erm, said Goomb."There you are!" said Master Fuju, looking under the bed. Master Fuju picked Goomb up and put him in the playpen with Frank. "Goo-Ga!", said Frank. "Eno!", said Goomb, laughing. Master Fuju chuckled to himself in the corner. |
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WHO HA HOO HEY HOOM
Paper Luigi
Vampire
Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 6855
HP: 1 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 9:45 pm
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Chapter 3
A week later, Master Fuju couldn't find Goomb anywhere. "GOOMB! GOOMB! GOOMB!", he yelled as he ran down the halls. An elder came into the room. "Fuju? Where is Goomb?", she asked. "I'm looking for him.", replied Master Fuju. "I'll help", said the elder. The two split up and searched for Goomb. Master Fuju checked the backyard. There was Goomb, about to fall of the mountain that the palace was on. |
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WHO HA HOO HEY HOOM
Paper Luigi
Vampire
Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 6855
HP: 1 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 9:56 pm
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Chapter 4
Master Fuju quickly ran up and grabbed Goomb. "Never scare me like that again!", he scolded. "AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!" Screamed an elder from somewhere inside the palace. Master Fuju ran inside, carrying Goomb. The scream seemed to have gome from the library. Master Fuju gasped as he stepped inside. One of the elders, Bob, was on the ground, motionless. His game was over. In his hand, he held a book. |
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WHO HA HOO HEY HOOM
Paper Luigi
Vampire
Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 6855
HP: 1 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 10:00 pm
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I think that's it until tomorrow. I doubt you'll actually think about while you're trying to go to sleep, but i'll continue later. There'll be one for Kooper too. 'Till tomorrow, everyone! (By the way, i'll be home all day tomorrow...  ) This'll get pretty dark near the end...  |
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LIL BLUE VS. BIG BLUE
Crappy Blue Luigi
Vampire
Joined: 11 May 2007
Posts: 10439
HP: 95 MP: 7 Lives: 2
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 10:01 pm
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I like it. |
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WHO HA HOO HEY HOOM
Paper Luigi
Vampire
Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 6855
HP: 1 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 10:01 pm
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| CBLuigi wrote: | | I like it. |
 Thanks. |
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Nastasia
Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 8479
HP: 100 MP: 0 Lives: 1
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 10:35 pm
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Looks pretty good so far. :3 Although, I think the chapters should be longer, since most of them are only 1 short paragraph... |
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WHO HA HOO HEY HOOM
Paper Luigi
Vampire
Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 6855
HP: 1 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 9:27 am
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| Celebi Kitty wrote: | | Looks pretty good so far. :3 Although, I think the chapters should be longer, since most of them are only 1 short paragraph... |
I know, but I have planned a lot. |
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Yellow Magikoopa
Vampire
Joined: 19 May 2007
Posts: 21962
HP: 100 MP: 4 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 10:31 am
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It's pretty good. Keep it up! |
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Blue Eyes wins.
Captain Blue
Joined: 21 May 2007
Posts: 15314
HP: 95 MP: 10 Lives: 2
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 10:35 am
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I give it an 8.25 out of 10 |
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WHO HA HOO HEY HOOM
Paper Luigi
Vampire
Joined: 09 May 2007
Posts: 6855
HP: 1 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 10:36 am
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I'm planning a couple more chapters, but i'm playing Super Paper Mario, (Second time going through) So i'm busy. |
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