digibutter.nerr

[Francis]

WARNING: This is very vulgar, but I just had to share it with someone. A series of posts my friends made in a "halo pick-up lines" topic:

Hey baby, your body is so uber perfect. It’s like the combination of invisibility cloak and rocket launcher in Halo 3. Wanna take a ride in my Banshee?

Hey suga, I'm no noob. I betcha I can get 10 head shots in our heads-up battle alone.....

Hey sweet thing, can I walk over your dead body and repetitively click the left joy stick?

No, that's not a sniper rifle in my pants. I'm just happy to see you....

Don't worry, I only shoot fast on the battle field.

Hell yeah I brought protection, I wear a f'n force field!

Hey darlin... Why don't you let me mount my cannon in the back of your warthog.

Is that a Halo 3 game in your pants? Cause I could see myself getting a "running roit" in them all night long....

I'm the Overlord in my Clan... It's no big deal, I just thought you should know the kinda man your talking to.

Hey baby, let's get away. I know a romantic little hide-away that overlooks battle creek.

Making love to you would be better than a "running roit" and two "killtaculars"....

Yeah, I may be a level one but I gotta huge schlong.

Im a level 18 General .... Every girl loves a man in uniform.

With knunchucks flying in the air........
"Feet, Feet, Feet, Feet, Feet, Feet, Feet"
Oops, wrong game.

Would you like to see a map of my favorite place simply called "Longest"

I want to be "on you", like a freshly thrown sticky grenade...

I may shoot fast, but it doesn't take me long to reload

Unfortunately, the best Halo pick-up line is the following:
Hey Baby, I don't play Halo.

You play your cards right and you just might get to see my Master Chief.

You know, the turret gun isn't the only thing that can shoot off 1000 rounds a second.....

I'm like a plasma grenade, let me stick on you and you're guaranteed to explode...

Hey are we playing assault? Cuz I'm pretty sure you're DA BOMB!

I wish I had permanent invisibility so I could watch you in the shower without you knowing I was there.

You know baby, it's called HALO for a reason. Only a select few have the credentials. It means: I ....
H = Have
A = A
L = Long
O = One

You know you don't need permanent invisibility to do that......

When I'm out there on that Halo battle field. Yea, I get scared, Im not gonna lie.... But that's when I start thinking about my family and friends *tear* and they help me through it........ Wanna *crag*?

"We lost so many good men out there...Look I don't wanna talk about it..."
*Wedding Crashers*

Yeah I'm pretty good at dual-wielding. Want to let me try on them titties?

I think there's something wrong with my auto-aim.... Cause I haven't been able to take my eyes off you all night.

Hey baby let's play some halo, I will even let you win. I will just stand there while you blow the hell out of me.

My energy shield is down..... You better come finish me off.

Perhaps we can get it on tonight now that your finished with your Blood Gultch

I want access into your base.......should I enter from the front or behind??

Does your "xBOX" allow for multi-player action?

You probably want to be on my team cuz I seem to score a lot

Want to hop onto my Warthog??

I was following my radar on the best places to score, and it led me directly to you.

You remind me of the "Noob Combo" .... Cheap and Easy

**Sneaking up from behind and then punching in the back of the head
"That is how I get my ladies"

*While standing on her chest wearing a crown* "Im king of the hill"

I dont need protection baby, I shoot feather bullets

Hey baby, you want to play some halo? You can handle the joy stick and I will shoot.

You better watch out when you're near me, cause I have been known to ram people with my Mongoose at a moments notice

Mine isnt working......perhaps I should stick my game in your xbox

Don't worry baby, my assault rifle is FULL of ammo.....

Hey sweetheart, do you want to go back to my place and play some Halo? And by playing Halo I mean having sex.

I know we just finished, but lets have another go- doesnt take me long to respawn at all.

Um, do you mind if Cortana watches?

Since female halo players are the minority honey, what most do is just go to the place I refer to as "Longest", be really bad and suck a lot.

*While starting at her breasts* Dont worry, Im a great duel wielder- Mind if I have a go at these??

Heres one for 2 homos looking for a threesome "Hey, would you like to join me for some capture the fag??

You look tired. Why dont you lie down, spread em and let me stab you with my energy sword.

My Pee Shooter is "throbbing"...... LOL

Screw the new radar jammer power up, my power up is jammin you...

I'd like to use the Forge to drop multiple copies of you onto my map.
eh, neverind, I just got done playing with my Wii.

Um, do you mind if Captain Keyes watches??

That was Wii-diculous....

Hey baby...wanna "Chill Out" by cuffing me to the bed and act like im your "Prisoner"

That was Wii-tarded...

Yea, this is all getting a little Wii-dundant....

You need to stop Wii-using those

Are they that Wii-cognizable?

Yea, to anyone who will Wii-d them they are.

A hate Mondays- they are just the start of a long Wii-k

Wii-ally? What would be the Wii-sult in Wii-cycling these old jokes?

I dont Wii-kon any harm is done, just some of these are being Wii-peted too much

So let's Wii-cap what Wii have learned today... Wii need to all Wii-duce our number of jokes, as to not Wii-plicate them.

I com-Wii-tly agree. A part of me inside feels Wii-markably great getting to Wii-unite with my old style of jokes.

Its been 20 minutes, quit Wii-laxing with your posting duties

So according to your poll, I have qaunti-Wii but not qua-Wii-ty to my posts?

The barrel of this battle rifle is round for a reason, in fact why don't you bend over and I'll show you what I mean...

I don't need my sniper rifle, in order to scope you out....

Your nothing like a grenade babe........I dont need to pull your ring to make you blow

That thing looks like a weapons *points at ass*.... the way you rock-it.

Oh well, here is my halo pick-up poem...
For a night with you baby, I'd jump on a grenade
Hell, I'd let you have the sniper rifle if I thought I'd get laid
You can have the invisibility or even the overshield
Just for the opportunity of getting your boobs in a duel wield
Because every time were together you make me high as a kite
Not to mention you make my *crag* harder than leveling 5 times in a night

"Hey babe, I got this sweet airplane called a Banshee.
Why don't you take a ride and join the mile high club with me."

Ha! That is rediculous... those Banshee's top out at 1000 feet or so!

Mine only tops out at around 4.5 inches

[Plastic Mario]

o.o

Interestingly epic.

[Geno]

Hah, I'm gonna go to the mall with this list and try to pick up some chicks.

[Plastic Mario]

[Popple]

I wondered what you did in your free time...

[Geno]

[Sam]

if i posted this, im sure francine would of marked it as a bad post xD

[Ph1r3 Mario]

[Medikoopa]

*adds more to the list*

"You know why they call me the Master Chief?"

"Like the Flood, I'll be all over you."

"I have a Covenant Tank, wanna see?"

"Hey baby, wanna see my Icon?" (alternatively: Index)

"I'm the Icon to your Installation."


*is shot*

[Flar3 Luigi]

O.o Wow.......

I agree with Ph1r3 mario.....


EPIC WIN LOL

[Super Maiq the Liar]

IS THAT A BRUTE SPIKE GRENADE STUCK TO YOUR CROTCH OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

*shotgunned*

[Super Cyber Mario]

This is funny.

*Hey baby, wanna ride my warthog.

[Super Gwag Meister]

[Super Cyber Mario]