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It's Hi-Technicaaal!
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Burn them out
rawrskey
Benned Vampire
Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 14262
HP: 70 MP: 5 Lives: 5
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 Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 7:27 pm
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Latest story. I plan to take a lighter, more comical route in this story. I also plan to finish it. Woot woot.
Chapter 1, part 1:
| Code: | Ten seconds. I had ten seconds to get to the main hallway. Naturally, I was running so fast I couldn't even hear the thoughts going through my head... likely because of the fact that I was playing ping-pong with my thoughts right now anyway, but nevertheless I was stressed and running.
"You now have eight seconds to get there, Jason," said a voice beside me.
"I know, sparky, I know!" I replied.
"And if you don't get there..." stated the little flying robot, "you know what they'll do to you!"
"Yeah, they'll turn me into the human equivalent of beef jerky," I panted, "why are you so worried? It's not like they can do anything to you."
"I'll have you know," Sparky replied, "that when a support robot such as I gets caught with a master such as YOU doing something such as THIS... we may indeed be deactivated PERMANENTLY, and sold for spare parts to a junk dealer!"
"Yeah, yeah," I replied to him as I slid into the main hall. It was huge. Bigger than big, you could say. After all, it was designed to fit ten million people in it with plenty of elbow room in between them. It was a large, roundish room with a huge stage on one side of it. In fact, you could hardly even call it a hallway... but the officials did, so we had to as well.
"Greetings, volunteers!" screeched a voice, "and welcome to today's mandatory volunteer meeting!" conversations immediately stopped, and the entire crowd was hushed, aside from a few daredevils who were trying to finish their statements.
"Volunteers... yeah right, any more that's just a fancy word for slave" said a man close to the stage.
"Well well, look who decided to speak up," said a well-dressed man walking onto the main stage. He was in the finest looking black suit anyone had ever seen, and had slicked back, rich looking hair. He had the strangest mustache you would ever see, as well... in fact, his mustache was a perfectly straight line, making it look as though somebody drew a giant black line on his face. "You do realize the punishment for such words... correct?" he asked the man. The man gulped, nodded, and was carried away by two huge guards covered in so much shiny, white armor that they seemed inhuman.
"Greetings, volunteers!" said the man again, "and welcome to the meeting. We only have one order of business to attend to today, and that is the elimination of the word 'to'. This includes all forms, including 'too', 'two', 'into', and all others. From now on, if you wish to say 'to', you must instead say 'fro', which is by no coincidence similar to the word for. This will be effective in one week. You are given this time to get... used to not saying the banned word. After exactly one week from today, saying the word 'to' is punishable by death. Thank you very much. Also, we must remind you that however welcoming the vents are, please do not climb into them... you WILL be killed, if not by the many hazards in the vent itself, then us. Thus concludes our meeting... you are all dismissed." the conversations immediately started back up, and everyone in the room was fussing or complaining about the new, ridiculous law.
"Aw, Sparky, this is just wrong! This is almost as bad as that time they made a law against breathing while in the company of an official for a week. So many people died, or were killed..." I said, conversing with my robotic partner.
"When will the insanity end, hmmm?" he replied.
"I don't even remember when it started..." I replied. |
Part 2:
| Code: | | I was born into this. This insane excuse for a world. I never knew any better, no, but I'd read stories about a world prior to the Great Fast Food Rebellion of 2020. It was a great place. You could go outside without worrying about getting run over by a passing blabbot, carrying a tray frantically to a non-working vehicle. Blabbots are strange robots... they measure about five foot tall, but they hover in the air just enough to make their head about eight feet above the ground. They carry trays with them at all times, and put as many things they can possibly find on them. Pack rats, really, but they got their name from their tendency to talk about every item. Every single one of them. They will list off every trait, every single quality of the item before putting it on the tray. Then, for some stupid reason, they'll zoom over to a broken vehicle of some sort... usually a MegaVan, which is basically a standard hover-van with a swimming pool in the middle, and then start tinkering with it. They're really well equipped -- their hands double as a kind of swiss army knife for robots. It has welding tools on it, too, so these little blabbots are usually seen welding a variety of things to megavans. It's just one of the crazy things in this insane city of ours... the so-called "city of the future". Personally, I don't understand how any of it works, and I don't just mean the machinery. Between us all being enslaved to a man with a perfectly linear mustache, and the crazy machinery running around this city welding objects like toasters and sunglasses to megavans, it was all completely chaotic. And to top all of that off, we didn't even know the name of the man who was ruling over us! The name of the city, though, is quite fitting, despite the purposeful misspelling. Our city's name... is Unsanity. |
part 3:
| Code: | | Another day, another dollar... Or rather, another dollar taken away. On my way through hallway Z after the mandatory meeting, I ran into a Cashgrabber bot. Its name speaks for itself... it managed to chase me all the way across the hallway before I tripped on a loose tile and it stole a dollar from me... cursed bots. After that whole ordeal, I went outside to walk the perimeter of the dome as per usual... it's the only exercise I could get, and despite the quality of life here in the dome, I still enjoyed living. There was still no explanation for the dome, as well... the officials never told us. In fact, they don't tell us much of anything any more... they treat us all like dumb little toddlers, and we might as well be because they restrict our knowledge. But the resistance effort against the officials still continued, and I was a part of it... for the most part. I couldn't do much, because I was still a teenager, but I could spy. Spy on the officials' robots for information. After all, what's a kid gonna do, right? Most of the time, the robots didn't give me anything good... but today was definitely different. For some reason, I managed to walk past a troupe of guard bots discussing something. Now why exactly they said it instead of communicating digitally, which is what most guardbots do, I haven't the slightest clue... and I didn't care, either. The information was what was important: they were discussing the plans for an assassination of the resistance leader. I ran to the resistance base to tell them, but I got ran over by a speeding blabbot as I was running across a street. He rammed me at full speed and sent me a good ten feet in the air. How I managed to stay conscious for that long is a mystery, but what happened after that more so, because I didn't quite stay conscious long enough to say hello to the ground with my face. |
part 4:
| Code: | I woke up staring at a tree at an awful strange angle to the way my body felt. I checked out how my legs and arms worked, and they all worked fine, but my head just didn't seem to follow suit. I tried to move it back into position, but even glancing over my shoulder proved to take a considerable amount of work. I tried to say something, but that didn't work out, because all I managed to spew out of my mouth were a few pathetic gurgles before I went unconscious again.
The next time I woke up, however, was a bit different. In fact, I woke up staring at my own face.
"What the...!?" I started to say out loud. I was answered from behind, where an old man with a beard almost half his height was standing.
"Come on, son," he said to me, "we don't have time to toy around!" confused, I shook my head at him and went back to investigating my body. It was no longer there...
"What is this... who are you?" I asked him. I turned around only to find that he was gone, and I was back into reality. I looked around and saw that I was still in the middle of the road, and looked down to see that I was standing in a small puddle of my own blood.
"What is...?" I started to ask out loud, when I remembered.
"OH NO! I HAVE TO GO TELL THE LEADER!" I screamed as I started running again. The scenery flashed past me as I rushed to the base, and eventually I arrived at a small little shack near the very edge of the dome. I crawled inside and knocked on the wooden floor four times with my hand, and said "Hello? It's me!" out loud to them. The floorboards opened up slightly and a set of eyes glared at me.
"Come in, then, Jason!" replied the person underneat the floor. He opened up a secret door and helped me climb into the tunnels, then closed the door behind me. I couldn't very well escape the dome without going underground, after all.
"So what's your business this time around, Jason? Just wanting food as usual?" he asked me.
"No no, I've much more serious news," I stated out loud, "but I'd prefer if we got a bit deeper into the tunnels before I go on revealing secrets..." |
part 5:
| Code: | "If it has something to do with the supposed assassinations," he stated, "we already know." I was shocked. How could they have possibly known before I told them? As if he read my mind, he replied to that thought, "Your little robot pal, Sparky, told us."
Of course, I thought, Sparky! I had forgotten about him since I landed face-first on the pavement. I didn't reply to this statement; there was nothing more to say. We crawled through the tunnels for a good 10 more minutes before the man opened a hatch up above us, and actual sunlight came in.
I squinted up into the light and saw two figures holding out hands, and I happily took what they offered. As they helped me out, I looked back at the dome. It was made of glass, but it was so thick that you couldn't see through it. In fact, the only purpose of the glass, supposedly, was so that light could go through; and it often didn't.
The dome was lit up with artificial light, so even the light of early evening was bright to my pathetically light-sensitive eyes. It was near exactly that time when I crawled out, I'd say around 8 PM, but there was still light outside because of the seasons. We had no names for the seasons any more; there was no need for them in the dome, everything was artificial.
The dome itself wasn't that big, it was that there are so few people in it. Only a total of a few million people live there right now -- not that it can hold any more. Outside the dome, the world seemed amazingly big. There was so much of it, and so little of me. One can be made to feel quite
inadequate when placed in a situation like this.
I walked with the other people up to a giant metal doorway, and more checking occurred. Our voices, sizes, shapes, and every other little tidbit of data of us was checked to make sure we weren't enemies, and then we were allowed in. The doorway itself was a good 8 feet taller than me, the walls all the same, but formed the perimeter of the base instead of an entryway. It was a huge base, and seemed moreso large by the relatively small amount of people that occupied it.
I was eager to see Sparky, and what was being planned to help stop the assassination. That might have been the exact reason why I was so disappointed when I walked through those giant metal doors. |
| Code: | I walked inside to see exactly what I hoped I'd NOT see; nothing. No preparation, no fear, nothing. Everyone was simply standing around, chatting about daily affairs. I was not amused by this lack of enthusiasm when such serious matters were at hand, and apparently neither was Sparky.
He was buzzing around like mad, from person to person, screaming things in their ears, telling them to get busy. It was almost humorous, actually, because of the way the little bot is. He was somewhat like a metal box on top of a small ceiling fan. His body was beat up, with dents and other battle scars everywhere on it, and he sometimes temporarily lost a few feet of air because his horribly constructed hover device could barely keep him up.
He looked like something that a one-eyed drunken man might have thrown together in a week or two; yet, he was barking orders as if he were an official. When I walked in, he looked startled, and immediately came up to greet me.
"Jason! I was almost afraid I'd have to go back and drag your corpse back here," he said, "but it appears as though your corpse has dragged itself!"
"Funny, Sparky," I said, "and I was almost happy to see you until that comment."
"Oh don't be so sensitive, you weak little pile of flesh," he said back to me, "you KNOW what would happen without me around to guard you."
And I did know. I knew very well. So did just about everyone I knew. It was a rather embarrassing story, really... |
Updated Jan 04
Last edited by rawrskey on Sat Jan 05, 2008 12:28 am; edited 3 times in total |
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RULE ONE OF FIGHT CLUB
Steve
Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Posts: 11460
HP: 100 MP: 0 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 7:36 pm
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I like it. When will you write more? |
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Burn them out
rawrskey
Benned Vampire
Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 14262
HP: 70 MP: 5 Lives: 5
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 7:38 pm
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| Enigma wrote: | | I like it. When will you write more? |
when I feel like it. |
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RULE ONE OF FIGHT CLUB
Steve
Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Posts: 11460
HP: 100 MP: 0 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 9:30 pm
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| rawrskey wrote: | | Enigma wrote: | | I like it. When will you write more? |
when I feel like it. |
[/obviousanswer] |
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Djacwmwfin
Joshamuffin
Vampire
Joined: 12 Jun 2007
Posts: 3539
HP: 100 MP: 5 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 11:41 pm
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| Enigma wrote: | | rawrskey wrote: | | Enigma wrote: | | I like it. When will you write more? |
when I feel like it. |
[/obviousanswer] |
This time, keep on it. |
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Burn them out
rawrskey
Benned Vampire
Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 14262
HP: 70 MP: 5 Lives: 5
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| Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:42 pm
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Updated. Now with 10% more pwn. |
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Djacwmwfin
Joshamuffin
Vampire
Joined: 12 Jun 2007
Posts: 3539
HP: 100 MP: 5 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:48 pm
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This is seriously on par with every other *crag* novel I have ever read. Keep on the damn thing. |
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*Facescreen*
Vbzobs
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 2049
HP: 100 MP: 10 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:52 pm
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This is my favorite story of yours. Keep it up, I can't wait to read the next part. |
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Burn them out
rawrskey
Benned Vampire
Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 14262
HP: 70 MP: 5 Lives: 5
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 12:28 am
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Updated again. I added to part 5, but I put it in a seperate box so you'd know to read it :/
please comment. |
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Djacwmwfin
Joshamuffin
Vampire
Joined: 12 Jun 2007
Posts: 3539
HP: 100 MP: 5 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 1:18 am
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it's like having to go to sleep because it's too late to keep reading |
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Flavio
Vampire
Joined: 05 Jul 2007
Posts: 10649
HP: 4 MP: 7 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:21 am
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It's a shame that this story can't be completed. T)T |
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Parabuzzy Queen
Macha
Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 11083
HP: 10 MP: 5 Lives: 0
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 2:11 pm
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Well, I had a chat with rawrskey over YIM, and he told me the following:
| YIM conversation wrote: | rawrskey: do me a favor please
rawrskey: http://h1.ripway.com/chazoa/txt/index.html post that link and tell them, I'll be updating my story there. Ripway is my file holder.
rawrskey: It's how I host images, text files, and html. |
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