I feel like slowly; the world is becoming nothing but a gathering of pessimists. Nobody looks on the bright side anymore. Then; they complain about every little detail of their life. Some people can complain, because things happened to them that are actually worth expressing. But whining that you aren't pretty enough, or cool enough, or some shallow thing is just ridiculous. Some people get mocked every day of their life, and have no way of escaping it. Some people have lost someone they cared about. Some people are abused. Some people are barely able to afford a house, car, or food. Some people can't at all. Some people are neglected. Some people have gone through a scarring experience.
They have something to complain about. But I admire the people who are tough enough to face these challenges head on.
All right, I'm going to warn you. There's about to be a wall of text about my personal experiences and crap. This is the reason I was so sad yesterday.
First off; I'd like to say that my parents got divorced when I was 3. So it wasn't too devestating. I still see him once a month. ^-^
When I was 9 years old, I had one bad day. I remember it well, but it wasn't that bad. My older sister just got mad at me for being the annoying younger sibling. But for some reason; that day marked the whole beginning. I started becoming depressed, and I don't even know why. When I was 10, I started thinking about suicide. I was really scared, so I begged my Mom to take me to a doctor. They put me on some medication, but like most depression medicine, it INCREASED suicidal thought. So, when I was 12, they stopped giving me the medication; and my mood improved. I looked back, and realized I had made such a retarded choice of going on medication when I didn't even need it. Since then; I was more optimistic. But then; my Step-Dad got arrested. Apparently, he was on drugs. As soon as I heard that, I didn't know what to say. This was the man I had been living with for 9 years, and nobody ever knew. He went to Jail for 3 months; because this was his first crime, and he was honest about the whole thing. After he got out, he and my Mom planned a divorce. But they decided against it, for the sake of my younger half-brother, I suppose. Life went back to normal.
Then here we are; my 13th Birthday. Early April. I got a Wii, we have a new house and a new car, and the next month, I discover Digibutter. Everything was going great.
Fast forward to June, not too long after Summer Vacation started. My Mom tells me the most shocking news I've ever heard in my life.
My 17 Year Old Half-Sister was...is...pregnant. I was speechless. Everyone was. My older sister decided to keep the baby. If you want to know; the baby is due March 20th, 2008. Her birthday's in February, so she'll be 18 when it comes. In August, she moved out to live with her boyfriend. Only because everyone was being irrational to her, except me. I understood what she was saying. I'm the only one who knows the REAL reason she moved out. She felt under-appreciated, and no one stood up for her. I would; but I was too afraid of getting in trouble. I felt like it was all my fault.
Then of course; one of our family friends died. That's when I almost left Digibutter, and my mind got all scrambled. I also found out my best friend's dog died yesterday. I haven't seen them for 6 years. But I remember that at least I gave cute little Kirby a big hug the last time I saw him. That was when we moved to where we live now. My friend lives 4 hours away from here.
Not to mention that my older step-brother (the one who tried to join just so he could spam the forum, tell everyone I told him to do it, and get me ben'd) has told me twice that he honestly and sincerely hates me, and constantly is teasing me. Now he's urging my little half-brother to do the same. Which has worked. My little brother not only teases me; but he physically harms me on a daily basis, and never gets in trouble. He's also said the B word and d*uche, and only got a warning. I said the word "pissed" and got grounded. I guess it's because I'm 13 now, so I'm supposed to be more responsible. Yet; I rarely tease them back, or tell on them. I'll just let karma get them.
The worst part? Somehow, I knew all of this would happen. Me and my sister are clairvoyant, but we don't know that we actually saw the future until it happened. My older sister knew that she was going to get in a fight. We both knew she was going to get pregnant. I knew that those two would die. I knew my Step-Dad would get arrested. I just suddenly think of something unrelated to my current thoughts, and it ends up happening not too long after. Then we also get dreams the same way. Like; I knew that my Mom and Dad would get divorced, and that she would get remarried. But don't think I only dream about bad things. I knew that we would get a new house, a new car, my Mom would get a job she enjoys, etc. My sister, my cat, one of my friends, and anyone who's reading this...only people who know about all of this "clairvoyancy" stuff.
I was recently so fed up with everything, I was about to ask my Mom two things. Keep in mind this was only like...2 weeks ago.
1: If I could go see a Doctor again.
2: If I could go live with my Dad, Step-Mom, and 6 Year Old Half-Brother.
You know what I did?
I slapped myself in the back of the head and told myself to shut up.
I know that there are people who have it worse than me.
I'm not going to feel bad for myself; because my life isn't really that bad.
So; I decided that I'm never going to give into depression ever again. I'm going to be optimistic. I'm not going to let anyone change that. Flame me? Not going to do much. This is the internet. The worst you can do is say "LOL U SUK". You can't physically harm me.
That's what optimism is.
It means that you're not going to get all gloomy or overreact, and you aren't going to cave in no matter how much pressure you build up.
I just wish that the rest of the world could realize that there's ALWAYS someone who's life sucks more than yours. I wish the world would be more optimistic. Maybe we could actually get over our own problems and do something for someone else.
Like, just a few days ago, I went outside and rang a bell for the Salvation Army for an hour, without taking a break. I never sat down, and I never stopped ringing that bell. I even sang some Christmas Songs with my little brother and my Mom. I wisahed I could've stayed longer, even if it was freezing outside.
You know what?
There was one guy, and he looked like he was homeless. He put $250 in the bucket, and said; "As long as it's going to homeless people." That's when this whole thing struck me. He cared about other people more than himself. That was optimism.
I wish the whole world could be like that guy. Selfless, optimistic...
So, I'm asking everyone at Digibutter to just realize that it could always be worse. All I want is for each of you to do something to spread a little optimism. Do something for charity, make a friend with someone new, or even just be more optimistic yourself, and hope you influence someone else.
Optimism is important. It can't be taken away unless you let it be taken away. DON'T let it be taken away.
Want a summary? Read the last paragraph.
Thanks for reading. ^-^
Comments? Questions? Your own stories relating to optimism? Go ahead.
I find it hard to be optimistic, but i guess I'm sorta of am. Alot of times when something devasting happens I ignore it as much as I can and move on. But mainly my problem is that I'm impatient and stuck and can't do anything about it.
Being optimistic is good in most ways, so I try to be. Everyone is pessimistic these days, though, because the world acts so negative sometimes. Also, I'm sorry for what has happened to you these past 2 weeks Mona.
I kinda agree with you, you shouldn't be complaining about every little detail of life. Homeless people probably have it much worse than you. So stop being so depressed and look on the bright side of things. But I know what it feels like to be stuck and despressed, where you really can't help it.
Last edited by YagamiMirror on Sat Dec 29, 2007 2:08 am; edited 1 time in total
I'd love to be more optimistic, but there's something a lot of optimists don't understand is that some people are just completely disabled in that category. Sorry, but it's the truth.
Yes, I did read the whole thing, because I care about my friends, and all I can say is I'm sorry for you. I have a hard time feeling sympathy, but for once in a long time, a little bit bubbled up to the surface.
Thanks for the reminder, I'll try to snytime I can.
A very good friend of mine's father died a few years ago. I was so scared, because I thought it might've been murder (they lived in the house next to me), but it turns out it was suicide.
I try to grasp at optimism, but it's always out of my reach...
A very good friend of mine's father died a few years ago. I was so scared, because I thought it might've been murder (they lived in the house next to me), but it turns out it was suicide.
I try to grasp at optimism, but it's always out of my reach...
-shoves pizza in your face-
BE HAPPY NAO, 'K? After all, you're friend has it worse than you. It was THEIR father.
A very good friend of mine's father died a few years ago. I was so scared, because I thought it might've been murder (they lived in the house next to me), but it turns out it was suicide.
I try to grasp at optimism, but it's always out of my reach...
-shoves pizza in your face-
BE HAPPY NAO, 'K? After all, you're friend has it worse than you. It was THEIR father.
I try to be optimistic, But everytime i do, Something bad happens,It's as if i was meant to be a miserable loner.
'K, give me an example of something bad that happened. IRL.
Divorce thing
My parents were getting a divorce, I looked on the brightside, Maybe they were having their usualfights, and only gonna stay mad at eachother for a few days and make up, But the next day, MY parents got in a horrible fight, that my dad litteraly left, Then, When i asked my friend who i fell in love with out, i waited for like, 2 days, i was pretty much happy and nervous at the same time, but then, She broke my heart and made up a fake excuse just so i wouldnt behurt. i'd type more, but im too lazy to.
Way back when, I was still a five year old little tot, my mother and my father devorcied due to mutual reason. Which is fine because I get to see my dad every two weeks... well I did. Anyway, that didn't phase me much, seeing as I was too little to really understand. But then I got a step-father. I hated him, when my mom and him decided to get married, I smurked during the whole thing. I cursed at him (well the words that I knew back then.) and basically made mine and his life a living hell for the first two years of my mom's relationship. Still he held in, and did I.
But back then, the marriage wasn't the only thing upsetting me. I had a very bad cause of ADHAD. It drived me mad, and it only took me half a second to throw a hissy-fit. It took me two years, and I was finally over that milestone, and on with my life.
The next bad thing happened when I was eleven. I was fat. I looked at myself bad, and felt like the only thing I could do was stop. Maybe if I stopped all the other bad things would stop too. ( There was other stuff, but I don't remember. ) Slowly and slowly, my eating habits became smaller and smaller. It was when I reached 12 my body wait mantained at 80 pounds. I felt good on the outside, but I still died a little on the inside...
So then we come to last year. My friends had come through a wave of drugs, and this was the time that I probably hit my first time low. I hated my friends for what they were putting me through and I ditched them all. And for the next couple months I had to live with one friend.
Then, as if some magic beam of light had hit, I started to met more people. Things began to look up, I got a date, I started to eat more and my grades were great. I don't know how to explain it, but it's just like something happy struck inside of me, and I overcame everything.
Another thing that helps me big time is this site, without it I would be bored most of the time. Which would suck.
I now look up at things, and it brings me further than ever before. It's a great thing to look up, instead of hurting your neck, with looking down.
It's always good to look on the bright side. It helped me get through with my dad's death. I thought, "If he went in and got those extra tests done on his heart, he'd have to leave the army. Then we wouldn't have the amazing support that the army has given us." I thought how he'd die in the most beautiful place doing his favorite thing. And that that the last thing he saw was the watching the deer run after he shot it...
Optimism help get you through hard times, and it can be a life saver....
