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ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWA
Francine



Joined: 30 May 2007
Posts: 8580

HP: 78 MP: 4 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 6:37 pm   Reply with quote

The clearest thing I could remember was the red cup. It was the stereotypical red plastic cup, holding the stereotypical foul-smelling liquid. I took a sip as I side-stepped through the crowd of people in the dining room of someone I don't know. No one ever knew who hosted the parties; all we cared about was that there was in fact a party.

Everything started to fade once I got to the kitchen. I found some half-finished and forgotten bottles of who-knows-what-kind-of-alcohol and poured what could top off my drink. The bright, shining red cup stayed clear as everything else swirled and blurred as I chugged the beverage. Shaking hands, I grabbed the bottle again, spilling some over my hand, into the cup, still crystal clear.

Right after I had finished the second helping, someone had grabbed me around the stomach and pulled me back. I nearly lost grip on the cup.

"Hey baby..." a slightly familiar voice slurred into my ear. From the side I could smell the breath, just as poisoned as mine. The arm pulled me away, and I stumbled along backwards, keeping my eyes on the cup at all times. Everything seemed to move too fast, as if we were going through the throng of people instead of around them. I was pulled up the stairs and into a dark room. The arms swung me around, and I landed on a pile of coats that people had left on the bed.

No no no... I thought and tried to make out, but it sounded only like mumbling. I tried to push away, the cup still in my hands. It hit the face of the person, but it didn't deter them. Hands, or at least I think they were hands, grabbed my shirt collar and ripped it, trying to get me topless. I rolled and knocked over something on the side table with the cup, sharp as ever. I suppose it was a snow globe, since later there was glass and water on the floor along with blood. I kicked the person off me with all I had into the mess of the snow globe.

A shattering scream, footsteps up the stairs, a thousand eyes on me, the corpse on the floor, on me, the corpse.

--

Yeah bored, not gonna finish.
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The Shop on a Hill    
Yellow Magikoopa
Vampire


Joined: 19 May 2007
Posts: 21962

HP: 100 MP: 4 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 6:42 pm   Reply with quote

Nice work. ((What is it with murder stories lately? >_>))
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Pipe Land Goods    
See?
Popple



Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 14001

HP: 99 MP: 8 Lives: 10



PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 6:43 pm   Reply with quote

Ok, that wasn't really thought provoking or well...is there a particular reason you felt like writing a story about *crag* and murder?
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Popple's Secret Hideout    
Larry Koopa
Sam



Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 16957

HP: 35 MP: 1 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 7:34 pm   Reply with quote

very awesome story. But it needs moar of a history.
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Koop    
Negi-chama
Super Tsuki
Vampire


Joined: 31 Jul 2007
Posts: 40464

HP: 100 MP: 0 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 7:37 pm   Reply with quote

August. Truly spectacular. You should write more stories. This is a small sample of you vast wisdom. Truly august.
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Junk shop    
Super Cyber Mario
Burning Vampire


Joined: 08 Oct 2007
Posts: 5387

HP: 60 MP: 7 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:04 pm   Reply with quote

I love it.
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Cyber Shop    
RAPEFACE BUTLER MODE
Kii



Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 3217

HP: 88 MP: 10 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:37 pm   Reply with quote

Pretty awesome. You've got a nice, captivating writing style.
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Out of the Way Convenience Shop    
Djacwmwfin
Joshamuffin
Vampire


Joined: 12 Jun 2007
Posts: 3539

HP: 100 MP: 5 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 10:05 pm   Reply with quote

Use it to write a damn book, like rawrskey plans to do.
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Josh's Useful American Novelties    
ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWA
Francine



Joined: 30 May 2007
Posts: 8580

HP: 78 MP: 4 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:46 pm   Reply with quote

But writers don't eat. Neither do artists, but whatever, I'll eat prints instead of manuscripts. I bet paint has more nutrition than regular text ink anyway.
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The Shop on a Hill    
He's that guy.
Merlink



Joined: 16 Aug 2007
Posts: 3522

HP: 10 MP: 1 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 12:11 am   Reply with quote

Good story. Well thought out. Except... kind of depressing, not in a sad way, in kind of an emo way.
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Merland    
ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWA
Francine



Joined: 30 May 2007
Posts: 8580

HP: 78 MP: 4 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 12:14 am   Reply with quote

I don't see how this could classify as emo. It's about a girl (or could be a guy if you want to see it that way) getting drunk at a party, being almost *cragged*, and accidentally killing the rapist.
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The Shop on a Hill    
He's that guy.
Merlink



Joined: 16 Aug 2007
Posts: 3522

HP: 10 MP: 1 Lives: 0



PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 12:17 am   Reply with quote

I don't know... it just leaves me with that... feeling....
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Merland    
Para



Joined: 19 Jun 2007
Posts: 7631

HP: 99 MP: 6 Lives: 1



PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 12:50 am   Reply with quote

Francine wrote:
I don't see how this could classify as emo. It's about a girl (or could be a guy if you want to see it that way) getting drunk at a party, being almost *cragged*, and accidentally killing the rapist.

Hawt.
[serioustime] That's an interesting piece of work you got there. You should finish it anyway, it'd make a good read.
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