digibutter.nerr

[Celeste Dimentia]

To people who have feelings they've bottled up inside, and stored with a tightly sealed cap... You could let it out here. Perhaps this could be a gathering of our collective feelings, a shared store of our hearts and souls, if you will. Sometimes you need to hear some honesty, which is encouraged here, and try to help each other, or even learn to help yourselves. This site is full of teenagers; turmoil in our lives seems to be abundant, whether we've let others know about it yet or not.

We should care about and try to help each other... That's a personal credo of mine, anyway. If you don't want to participate in such a thing, you can of course leave now. This could be a sort of public forum for group therapy amongst ourselves, in a sense. We can see the outpourings of what things trouble us, and what things make us happy, and respond with connections or advice of our own.

This might be an unwelcome or cheesy idea, I don't know... I've thought about making this for a while... Now I've just decided to do it anyway. Use it, if you will.

Let the healing begin?

[Yellow Magikoopa]

It seems all the sensitive members are on right now. I can actually relate to them. >_>

Well, you've seen my topic, and for those who haven't, It's right here.

[Super Postman]

Oooh Can I be the group councilor? I'd love to help you guys out. ( but im actually going to bed now.... stupid me cant stay away from this craging place)

[Celeste Dimentia]

[Spiny]

Is it healthy to assign RP characters to emotions?

[Celeste Dimentia]

[Spiny]

I'm worried my mind will try to force me into character,esspecially with Victor.

[Celeste Dimentia]

[Typhoon™]

I don't keep my emotions locked in a bottle o_O

I keep mine in a chest fit for a giant, locked away until someone comes in and tries to lock-pick it open.

Notice the size?

I can take more but eventually will explode.

[Macha]

I think I'm probably clinically depressed. ._.

[Typhoon™]

[Nastasia]

I'm pretty sure that I'm depressed....sometimes I get angry really easily, and other times I start crying all of the sudden, and sometimes I feel like I have no reason to live....
Well, I do know exactly why I'm depressed...um.....I don't know how to say this without it sounding really corny.... x_o; but, first of all, I have some social problems IRL. Ever since I was in 1st grade, everyone has treated me like an outcast. It seems like whenever I made a mistake, everyone just had to scold me and stuff. Whenever I tried to have fun, everyone would tell me not to do that. But it wasn't fair, because everyone else could have fun and make a mistake without being treated like an idiot. This eventually made me scared to do anything, from doing something fun around others, to letting others know what my interests are. I'm always afraid that if I try to be who I really am, people will just yell at me or laugh....because that's what's always happened. And it's not like I can make people change, so I can't really fix this problem...but I really hate having to be someone I'm not every day of my life. If I started acting like who I really am, people would be shocked, and they'd tell me I'm weird, and they'd do other things that would make me feel bad....I try to avoid people, because apparently I'm just in everyone's way. I really wish I could be someone that people trust and don't mind being around, but I'm always being pushed to the side....I feel like the world doesn't care about me, and they don't need me at all...seriously, I had to change everything about me because peope treated me badly. I had to change the way I looked, the clothes I wore, and even my personality...even after all that, I still get treated like I'm just in the way. Another one of my problems is my parents. I really do hate them, because I feel like they didn't want me. Whenever I get scared, they just tell me to shut up. And I've even told them that I have several phobias. But they still ignore that. And when I get angry, even for just a second, they tell me that I better learn to control my temper. It's like I have to be a little ball of sunshine all the time. I'd love to be that happy, but I can't....sometimes, I just wish I could scream at them about how I have the right to express my feelings, and how they can't stop me from having the feelings that I have....but of course, then, they'd threaten to hurt me. I'm kind of afraid of them because of that. They make me shut up by threatening to hurt me. They never do this to my sister. I feel like I'm their worthless slave that they're going to hurt severly if I do one little thing wrong. They're always yelling at me about something. And if I do something that's 'abnormal' to them, they tell me it's bad thing and that I better stop doing it. They don't understand me, and they never will....I remember than my mom told me once that she would have rather had a boy than me. And she also told me that she treats me badly just because her parents treated her badly. I hate her the most for that reason, because it's like I'm some thing she just takes all her anger out. Really, that's just stupid....treating your own child badly because your parenst treated you badly. That just pisses me off so badly. And my dad, he's just way over protective. He thinks I'm still a 4 year old that's gonna get in trouble if I do some things. Seriously. He thinks everyone on the internet is a crazy perverted 40 year old stalker that's gonna come find me and kill me even if I never give away where I live. Really, I'd like to explain to them that no one is going to find me even if I just post a picture of myself. I'm pretty sure that most of the people on Digibutter live far away from me, and it's not like they're going to go all the way to where I live and come and kidnap me. But of course, they won't understand. I also can't go anywhere by myself, even if it's the library that is so close to our house. So yeah, I really can't wait until I move out of the house and live somewhere far from them. Oh yeah, and I will be extremely pissed off if they don't let me choose my own college.
Yeah, that's why I'm depressed. Don't post if you're just going to say "TL;DR lolz". 'K?

[Almaz]

Ouch Nassy...that hurts. It's just an emotional struggle...but the battle's half-won. You know yourself, you know your interests. Embrace them for now, shut out everything else until you feel you're ready to face them once more. Life's a simple game that everyone makes far too complicated. Never be afraid to share your emotions or interests, as bottling them up is the worst thing that you can do for yourself. So you're a non-conformist? So what? If you continue being you, you'll eventually find someone who agrees, or would like to hang around you. Will students hit you or cause physical pain? Definately not. I go to a school with many gangs always hanging around, along with wannabes and other such morons. I've been myself my entire life, and you know what I found was good about it? Comedy. I have brought some laughter and life into other people's lives through strange antics (one time acting like a homosexual...I'll never live out that day). In your heart, what can you do, with all of your wonderful talents, to bring joy and be yourself?

Is this an immediate solution? No. Nothing in emotional life is. Just continue applying yourself to whatever you believe in...and press forth, no matter how trecherous the journey. And also, I'm not a 40 year old perverted pedo...I'm just some idiot who would never leave his computer chair for the world.

And now, I'd like to share my own little problem. There is no doubt in my mind that I am among the top 5 smartest beings in my school. Obviously, I've gotten a bit cocky - though haven't shown it - as I continue viewing those beneath me as "inferior". The persuit of intelligence has always been my cup of tea, and I just find everyone who would ignore such a wonderful opportunity to be lazy, scattered minds. And it's just so...ANNOYING! Every day, subjected to the imbelicy of others: parents, teachers, students especially, authority figures, political figures - everything's so simple and it's always so complex to them. I'm a black-and-white kind of guy, where I see one way that works and the rest of the ways that don't. And you know what? The ways that I thought didn't work HAVEN'T worked. I suppose it's my never-ending success that causes this, but I can't just say "I'm going to under-achieve". That's the exact opposite of my personality. However, I think I'm developing something rather serious. Every day, my anger builds, my rage continues to grow, and you know what I think? I think I should stop the problem. And how do you stop a problem? By eliminating it.

I wanted to kill...I've WANTED to kill...I wanted to see that suffering, that burning desire of revenge, that fear...I wanted to see corpses lined up...and I wanted less than ten souls to be spared...the few I actually care about.

This isn't normal, obviously. And that causes me to think of myself as a freak. An abomination. MY parents occasionally call my thoughts "not human", and not just those about death and dispair (I'd never share those with them...no parent should ever have to worry about THAT). I've want the pain to end. There's a wound in my chest that isn't healing, and hasn't healed for years.

Could someone help me heal it? Please?

[Goomba]

Well, nothing is going on in real life for me, more like here.

I fear my past mistakes and ones I hadn't noticed. FrozenWinters made me see this, and I am worried about how many I have hurt. Here is my response to her:
http://digibutter.nerr.biz/viewtopic.php?p=743349&highlight=#743349

That wasn't exactly bottled up, I said what I felt was needed to be said. But I am worried that I am not being the best moderator I can be. I don't know what flaws I am missing.

[Celeste Dimentia]

Mister I, what are you really angry at? You shouldn't see people as sheep in a flock all the time; try to get to know people as individuals. It may be simply a fact that you're highly intelligent, standing a cut above the average. Are you perhaps angry that people with considerably lower IQ's and work ethic make it along in this world just as well, and that it's really not fair?

My ideas are heavily non-comformist, and I'd actually love to meet Nastasia in person. I don't mind challenging the societal norms we've developed, being myself even if I run against the grain. I'll challenge any person, namely authority figures, at any time. I loathe racism, sexism, and ageism even. I would suggest to you, as Mister I had, Nassy, that you continue to be yourself, and do not cover it up. Endure... And try to maintain a strong heart. You can come out of this one day, and there IS a ray of light, even if you're immersed in darkness right now. The case of your parents is unfortunate; I'm particularly disgusted with the fact that they threaten to hurt you if you try to get through to them. That defense mechanism is completely... ridiculous. Foolish, and cowardly. Your mother should have learned NOT to treat you wrongly after how her own mother treated her... I know I've learned what not to do from my older brother.

I wish you the best of luck, both of you. Nastasia, you live in a hard environment. Please stay strong for as long as you possibly can. Mister I, you can give to the world and help a lot of people besides yourself, as you've begun to do already through this medium. Try to feel good about that. Your anger, I think, is unfounded, and it would greatly benefit, again, both yourself and others if you dispel it.