digibutter.nerr

[Zelnor]

((Author's Note. This is not going to make a lot of sense if you haven’t read the mysterious prologue. I made a new topic just for this because I wanted to surprise people and use the title to its fullest extend.))

Francis picked himself up and brushed the dust off himself. The world slowly swam back into focus, but it still remained blurry as if it had been packed into a snowglobe that had been given to a person suffering from Parkinson who’d gotten seizure on a vibrating plate during an earthquake. The nerd lizard immediately felt sickness grip him with the force of a well-aimed halfbrick. ‘Stupid computer’, he thought. ‘Narrative Cannon. Yeah, right. It probably just screwed up the fabric of time and space again and will shortly make me land in the living room of some weird guy in Japan named Miyamoto.’ But as the feeling that bits of him were unsure about there position gently subsided, Francis squinted through his fingers, prepared to turn invisible at the sign of any danger. What he saw, however, was a desk made of wood and polished until it did all but shine by itself, a great hall with extensive tapestry and red carpets and, for his taste, too many baroque-framed mirrors and brass railings, and that he was wearing a suit instead of his custom-tailored shirt and that he even wore pants. Taking another look after rubbing his eyes and polishing his glasses revealed two old-styled elevators next to a pair of staircases that in utter defiance of the laws of the second dimension they lived in managed to spiral around each other in an apparent double helix. The staircases would up at least four stories with the occasional walkway in between them and big chandeliers swinging over them. The stories themselves didn’t seem to differ from that style – electric candles on the walls, tapestries, brass and red carpets. Francis’ gaze shifted to the desk, and he saw, to his relief, a workstation – however, one modded to fit the architectural style of the rest of the hall, all shiny, golden and antique – , a bell and a huge, leather-bound book with empty pages and a quill pen besides it.
With a melodius, bell-like beep, the screen flickered to live.
>Neko-hime v. 2.548
>Starting Reboot Testing Sequence
>Testing CPU……………..100 %
>Testing Hard Drive………100 %
>Testing RAM….…………100 %
>Checking OS……………..100 %
>AI sanity check….……….100 %
>Checking File integrity…. 100 %
>Checking Registry……….100 %
>Virus check………………Clean
>
>
>Welcome, Master Francis.
>Protocol reveals that the Narrative Cannon has been successfully fired.
>Is everything according to your taste ?

“Well, Neko, I personally would have put in a more modern style, but it’ll work. Is everything working according to the Plan ?�

>It appears so. Please proceed to the MeowMaid hold to authorize >reprogramming for special domestic and care tasks.

A part of the wall slid back with a slight hissing, revealing a metal walkway lighted in regular intervals by neon lights.

“Why is this place so baroque ? And since when are here secret passages ?�

>Theory of Narrative Causality again, master. I fear that this style is the >cliché for the look of any luxury hotel. I have compensated and restyled >as much as possible, but narrative is hard to control. You can’t >fine-tune it. Conversely, you may have noticed a slight change not only >in your appearance but also speech-pattern. Narrative resonance causes >this – the Narrative force injected into our dimensions picks up >narrative patters and reshapes reality to suit them. I have assembled a >small-scale compensation device from spare parts for emergencies, >but we will have to be cautious - it easily overheats, severely limiting its >use. For the worst-case scenario, “AI turns insane and takes control of >building and reprograms robots to be extremely hostile, I have >included several evacuation and self-destruction mechanisms, all >inuseable by me or remote-controlled MeowMaids.

“Why would you build a self-destruction mechanism ?�

>I… Bzzt…
>Analysing Behaviour Pattern irregularity.
>…
>Analysis complete.
> Error No. 125-5: Logical malfunction
>Checking integrity of morality core and logic circuits.
>…
>Complete. All fully functional.
>Conclusion:
>Narrativ resonance related change.
>…
>I am sorry master, but not even I am immune. I would suggest investing >future funds into the construction of a large-scale supercooled >narrative compensator. For the time being, however, your PDA >modification will have to do. Now let us proceed to the MeowMaid >Hold.

With a sigh Francis walked down the metal pathway, not even bothering to look as the panel slid back into place after him. As always, he’d gotten himself into the deepest probability of cacky possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a mechanical creaking, a hiss and a whooshing sound the big metal doors of the hold slid back. An army of MeowMaids on shelves lay deactivated in the large room beyond.

“So let me get this straight… The fort has about quadrupled in size, the MeowMaid count has multliplicated itself by a dozen and the whole Fort has redecorated itself, too. All because of a story power cannon.�

>Yes, master.

“Then why, in the name of the Grodus Chronicles, haven’t we just narrative’d us into a Fort made of solid gold and filled with platin bars, nerr ?�
>Too easy. No narrative compatability.

“How can narrative be compatible ? It’s not like it’s Flipdows XP.�

>To be simple, it wouldn’t make a good story. It is kind of like narrative >resonance in large scale – the narrative energy I extracted and >injected reshaped reality to suit a story or the general shape of one. I >was able to modify it into a certain shape so that we don’t end up in a >story about the attack of killer cutlery, but you have to follow a certain >“shape� for it to work.

“It’s never easy, is it ?�

>No. And now, I’d like to activate the new staff of our establishment.�

With a metallical whirr, more panels in the wall slid aside, revealing robotic cords that plugged themselves into the MeowMaids input slots after they had opened themselves up. On the wall, a big PC screen switched itself on, presenting a three-dimensional MeowMaid rotating slowly and presenting a series of animated lines and graphs that served no other purpose aside from being interesting to look at.

>Downloading new programmings into MeowMaids.

A status bar appeared on the screen, an animated cable plugged itself into the 3D MeowMaid, and cartoon-styled electricity ran through it.

“Wait… the 3D stuff is easy on my eyes. Is that another side-effect of that cannon ?�

>Yes.
Neko-hime’s mechanical voice sounded even more realistic after the canon had been fired and seemed to advance even more with time passing.
>Narrative resonance is still at work, reshaping reality to make all of it fit. >I have already revised the algorithms and have updated the energy >calculation variable to minimize that effect, but before we can use the >cannon precisely, we’ll have to endure some test runs and the >resulting inconvenienve.

“Not before my financial security isn’t back.� The lizard replied.

>Of course not.
>Download finished.

With a hundred clicks and beeps, MeowMaids went online. A hundred artificial “Meow !� s rang out through the hold.

((More coming tomorrow – who will be among the first guests in the…

High-Technical * Grand Hotel Arcade Bitlands Lounge


?))

[Legendary Mashine]

trippy. @_@

[Zelnor]

((The difference between word and this screws the >Computer speak formating up. D= And what do you mean with "trippy" ?))

[Legendary Mashine]

[Zelnor]

Needs more attention, this story. I am writing at the time being, but I need convincing to publish it. *Author Drama Queen - Being*

Seriously, I'm putting much work in it. COMMENTS PLEASE !

EDIT:

High-Technical Grand Hotel Arcade Bitlands Lounge

Chapter 1: Welcome, valued Guests !

The sun had risen to its highest point, as it was already noon. Francis had spent the morning haggling with the computer over small details in the decoration and had then walked trough his transformed Fort to get to know it anew. The MeowMaids had been upgraded to advanced domestic and social tasks, and a trial session had been successful. Francis had tried out the Room Service, Massage Parlor, SPA, Swimming Hall, Bar, Arcade and Howzit Shop, leaving the latter with a strange feeling – how had that one got there ? Now he was sitting behind the desk in the Entrance Hall and waited for the guests to arrive. Following the Narrative Injection, the Interdimensional Meow-shaped PORTal (IMPORT) he’d originally used to get the cannons’ parts had taken up connections to all known civilized worlds. Now, he could only wait. Whilst he was doing this, the Forts’ AI, Neko-hime, killed time by calculation algorithms to minimize narrative resonance. Stray narrative energies were still coursing through the fort, picking up random plots and reshaping reality in unsuspected ways. Currently, the AI had decided to reprogram the compensator in its masters wrist-PDA to project a constant compensation field that would protect him from any narrative influence after a stray plot had transformed him into a bishonen. The AI internally shuddered. Not even Bishie Sparkle could improve something like that.

((Anyone wanting to be in the story ? I’m running low on actors.))