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[Ligador]

[The Chaos Heart]

If you don't care, then leave. Post your insults somewhere else. This is a serious matter, not some childish joke. This matter is not one to be thrown around like a dusty old rag doll. If you have nothing positive to contribute, I suggest you leave. Especially YOU CFH!

[Ligador]

[The Chaos Heart]

YOU! DO NOT UNDERSTAND ONE THING ABOUT THAT GIRL, OR THIS BOARD! IT IS PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT HAVE CAUSED HER TO DO THIS! THERE IS NOT POINT TO JOINING A BOARD LIKE THIS! IT IS NOT TO SHOW OFF YOUR TALENTS, THOUGHT THAT MAY BE ENJOYABLE! IT IS TO FORM A COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE WHO SHARE INTEREST, MAYBE IN EACHOTHERS ABILITIES, BUT ULTIMATLY, FOR EACHOTHER!

BUT HOW WOULD THE LIKES OF YOU EVER UNDERSTAND THIS!

[Frozenwinters]

SHUT THE -cough- UP CH. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY THE HELL SHE'S LEAVING EITHER, SO DON'T GET SO FING DEFENSIVE ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A CLUE ABOUT.

[Mona]

I don't only care about her for her talents...erm...sorry if I made it worse, then. I care for Nastasia for more than her talents, but I guess I don't know exactly how to phrase why I like her, really.

But you are right, CH. I guess it makes me feel worse when people just tell me they like me because I'm a good roleplayer or writer or something. You want people to like for you, not your talents and skills. I guess we do that a lot...I'm just so used to pointing out people's talents, and I don't try to make them feel better about who they are behind the computer screen. Or...do I still have it wrong?

So...Nastasia, if you're still reading this topic, sorry if I offended you in any way. I guess I'm just used to being like everyone else and telling you that I like you because of your talents...I worded it horribly wrong. I like you for who you are...I wouldn't care if you had the art skills or literacy of a 2-year old; you're still great. You've just got this...feeling about you. I can't really describe it, though...You're a valuable member, Nastasia. You're unique, you have a great personality...and from what I've read about your IRL life, you manage to make it through the toughest of times. You're able to make it through things I would break down completely in. For that...just being who you are...I respect you.

[The Chaos Heart]

*claps*

Mona, you are exactly right. and I to am sorry if I offended you in what I said.

Frozen, you don't think I understand eh? Well, perhaps a little story would help you. I would tell you that it's true, but that would be pointless, seeing as because of you ignorant pig-headedness, you wouldn't listen.

From the time I entered my mothers womb, rumor spread of abortion. My mother was still in college, as was my father, and they were not ready for the responsibility. However, fate would turn on them. I was born 3 months early surprisingly. Appereantly, my Mother's compasionet side had been undecisive up to this point on when the abortion would take place. The doctors told them I was special. At the time, they were ignorant to this statement...but they soon understood.

I was walking after 4 weeks. Before a month had passed, I was speaking perfect English sentences. They finally understood. I was special.

But it was to late. Their fates were desided. Around the age of 1, I was with a siter. They died that night...a horrible accident on the freeway. Because my only realatives were in another country, I was put up for adoption. I was chosen. These people proved to be not as naive. The understod my talents...and as such, forced me to develope them. They cared not for me...their love goes only as far as the limits of my abilities.

I never knew love. I was to young, even for my mind at the time, to appriciate love. You speak of love? Don't judge me by your standereds. "Family"...let me tell you what this words means to me...

...meer hulls of flesh, connected by hatred and murdurous intent.

As I grew older, my "family" pushed me harder and harder to develope my self. At first, I thought that was love...that is...until, "the incident".

Around the age of 6 or so...my father threatened to kill my mother. After beating her...he left us...for good this time.

When I asked my mother why my father left...she said, "Don't worry your little head young one...he loves me..."

Then THAT became my definition of love.

As time progressed, my mother and me became more distant. She pushed me haredr than ever before, and continues to do this. If I am anything less than perfect, I am in more trouble than you could ever imagine. Because my father worked for the army, we had always been on the move, so I have no firends to trace my roots back to. In addition, because of my mother's response to my question, I began to think pain and suffering of others was love. This caused children, where ever we went, to hate and scorn me.

After a while...I learned my mistake, and saught to perfect myself in this area, and still do. Sometimes I slip...but for the most part, I still try. However...because of the past, no one to this day likes me, including my family. Eventually though...they will. For I must be perfect.

After all...all I am is an accidental child...whose only worth the limits of his abilities.

So...do you still wish to say I do not understand what it feels like to be hated by all?!

[Frozenwinters]

That's a great story, but I don't see how that at all relates.

[The Chaos Heart]

I know how it feels. To feel like your only worth how well you preform. To feel that, your only purpose is to display the limits of your abilities. I understand how it feels to be hated by all. It hurts. Badly. And by spewing the vile, wreched lies you mostly speak, it can drive someone like us over the edge. After a wile ...you get sick of it. You want a way out, though you can't seem to find one. And the options that are avalible, only end in pain. But they seem so good! How wonderful it would be to end all the pain! All I must do is a quick dash of the throat, and it's all gone!

Killing yourselves is one of these horrid options. It will only end in misery, no matter who you are. It is YOU who do not understand. It is YOU who is clueless. Oh yee of little understanding...how foolish thine be...

[Frozenwinters]

I understand where you're coming from, but that's really not why she's doing this.

[The Chaos Heart]

Oh no?

[quote="Nastasia"]I don't even know what the purpose of coming here is anymore.quote]

What does that speak to you. She feels she has no more purpose on this forum, so what is the point of being here.

She also is probably feeling she has no purpose in life. She has failed somewhere in her purpose, in my case, to be perfect. This has affected her majorly.

She sees no point in life now, so why not end it? After all...the world would be better off without an imperfect person...

No one here seems to understand...

[Frozenwinters]

Omgosh CH. It's so plainly obvious why she's feeling this way. Of course I wont say, because... well... I'm not sure if it's official.

[The Chaos Heart]

Is this because of the whole interweb dating with CD and now he's gonna be a girl so she's pissed at him?

I could see that as being a cause...

that would make my last two posts irrelivent...

...crap...

[Count_Bleck]

[The Chaos Heart]

...I'M NOT PLANNING ON KILLING MYSELF MORON!