digibutter.nerr

[Plastic Mario]

...Yeah. Everything I've been kinda hiding from Digibutter is eating away at me for some reason. I don't know why, it just is. There's no harm in nobody else knowing this stuff. It's just making me feel guilty or something for hiding stuff. I have no idea why.

Still, I'm just gonna post all the stuff that I've either been hiding or keeping subtle.

#1. I'm pretty much soulless. I haven't genuinely laughed in months. The most I can do is smile, but I can never force out a real laugh. If I see other people posting the fact that they actually burst out into laughter from something, I look at it and my face doesn't change one bit. Sure, things can still be fun, but I have to force myself to express it. I didn't even cry, or even feel sad when my grandpa died. And I feel horrible about it now.

#2. Ever since I can remember, I've been 1 year older than I really am on the internet. I think it started a looong time ago with Neopets, when I was only one year under what was required to get all the decent content. After that, I've always been one year older than I really am. So, I'm really 14. Sorry I lied to all of you, Francis included. Even when he PMed me, asking me my age when he asked me if I wanted to be a mod.

#3. I've actually questioned my own sexuality in the past. Yes, I'm straight. ([m]-ish part spoiler'd) And I enjoy futanari. You know, hentaiz involving girls with pen0rz. As long as there's no naked men.

#4. I've been suicidal in the past, although it didn't last too long. Thankfully, the most I tried to do to myself during that time was break a few bones, which failed. And I actually get the thought of "Maybe the world would be better without me" once in a while now.

#5. I actually AVOID social interaction, most of the time. I don't know why, but I feel like anybody other than my friends absolutely despise me. It's either paranoia or the fact that the people at my school are so damn prejudiced that I'd get beaten for even mentioning some of the crap I'm interested in.

#6. I actually put on a prejudice-free shell, but inside, I'm the cruelest, most agressive, racist, homophobic, judgemental bastard you'd ever meet. I've dug up pictures of myself from when I was 5 or 6 or so, and said to myself "This guy's hideous. He must be a retard or something." Then I realized it was myself. I really try to be prejudice free, but that damn voice in my head always works the other way.

#7. I take EVERYTHING for granted. I do virtually nothing in my house to help out and I complain (In my head) about it. I'm a freakin' leech. =/

...And I really can't think of anything else right now, even though there's so much more swirling around my head. I don't know what sparked the "inspiration" to post this. It just happened.

So... Yeah. >.>

[Frozenwinters]

So you're in middle school, not high school? >_>

[LudwigVonKoopa]

....*notneededinfo*

[Plastic Mario]

[Tails Doll]

[Ligador]

[Pure-???]

5 is exactly how I fell.

it's mainly video games. at my school you basicaally get beaten for not hating nintendo. D:
And I hate teh PS3, which earns me double hate points among most of the gamers at my school.

6= o.o

[Goron Mask]

Wow I never knew that and we seem to have 1,5 and 7 in common.

[Zelnor]

Welcome to my life.

I have a psychological condition that absorbs any emotion I feel after about two to five minutes (And I'm so altruistic, I can't eish people bad things, as I think "Nah, that's evil" - and sometimes i wish I could dop it, or at lest become suicidal.), am one of those people who were born with a target painted on various body parts, feel hated by everyone, most of my real friend live about 300 km away in southern germany, am a total lunatic in school and a serious diplomat guy at home...

And that's not all. But I don't want to publish my depressing life in 30 seconds.

And Plastic - I think the sexuality issue is normal. Especially if oyu spend too much time on the internets while your hormones run rampant.

Oh, and since I watched Scrubs Season 6 in about one day last weekend, the voice in my head narrating my life has started to sound like J.D. but appears with the same damn frequency. Not to mention my daydreams have become more vivid.

And last, but not least, I always have beautiful story- and / or art ideas in my head, but have given up trying since they inevitable suck when I'm finished and I erase it.



...

Wait, is about nearly EVERYONE here younger then me ? O.o

[Super ShadowArticuno]

Hi, Plastic, Hi, Zelnor, we must be long-lost triplets, eh?

Except I'm not German OR Part Chinese.

[/nonseriouspost]

It's normal, Plastic. Zelnor mentioned hormones. They affect different people in different ways. Don't sweat it, everyone can relate to some (Or in my case most) of your points.

[Pure-???]

[Zelnor]

You don't want mine. He, or rather I, am a sarcastic old bastard. And I have corkscrew logic.

Also, do you know how increasingly annoying it is talking in different voices in your head ? Sometimes it's J.D., sometimes it's me... However I feel.

[Launching Star]

EVERY public high school is grades 9-12.
And I r at ma high skewl right now, postin this.

[Pure-???]

I have very few friends. being able to argue with myself would be fun for a while. just a while.

[Zelnor]

Oh yes ? Pure, every day, I go out and question my own sanity. I fear going bats. I mean, everyone is skewed in his or her own personal way, but sometimes, I look "diagonal" (as opposed to skewed) even in my corkscrewed logic.

Lately, I adopted a "Sure. What the hell." attitude to that and "embrace" my "insanity". I wonder if that's healthy.

Oh great. Here comes my own thought voice.