digibutter.nerr

[Super Hario]

I know... many of you are asking why I did such a harsh act. At least, you were... and you've all moved on, and I've faded out of your existences. For those who still care... here's my story of regret, remorse, and depression.

This... is going to sound extremely cliche... but it's a love story. Some of you remember GayleNitsua... if it hasn't become obvious enough... I love her. With all of my heart. I'm not joking... even though it was pointless. I confessed to her that, quite a while back... y'see, we've dated in the past... three times. Ultimately, you could say she turned me down. At first, it didn't matter to me... all I wanted was her happiness. I guess the weeks took its toll. I felt remorse.

I'm not going to lie. I bottled up my feelings. Completely. A few days ago, we mentioned the subject again... she said she wished she liked me back... but she was afraid that if she did, and we started dating again, it would take the same route. She was extremely fearful of that. She was also afraid of the fact that her feelings for me, if she had any, would disappear, and that she would like someone else... it's a habit of hers, she said. Again, I made a fatal mistake... I bottled up my emotions.

Now, at this point, you could say I bottled them up so much... I couldn't take it anymore. I was extremely depressed, but not angry; I still blinded myself, and blocked out all concerns, wanting her to be happy. Soon, it became the only thing I could ever talk about... especially to her. Later, a few days ago... I snapped. Earlier in the day, I created a proxy alt, [you], because I thought it would be funny. Then, I made another account, out of boredom; that was Captain Falcon. He was accepted. Later that day, that was the time I got depressed... and I committed those vile acts. I was disgusted with myself... I felt like killing myself. Francis jailed me, and you all never heard from me again.

Now, the next day, I decided on a path in life. It was late at night; I decided to get rid of all emotions. I talked to Gayle, and I told her about my new life plan. She immediately rejected the idea. For an hour, we had a huge argument over... myself. I was incredibly selfish. She had been down the same path... it was one of her biggest regrets. We argued... she tried to get to me, but I was too selfish, and I blocked her out... then, finally, it came to an end:

Gayle wrote:

Gayle says: I blame this on myself, I'm nothing to people, if I was you would listen, if I was you would realise tha t you aren't, if I was you would care.... if I was............ this discussion, wouldn't exsist, but I just ruin everything as usual Gayle says: I'd be better off Gayle says: dead.

She signed off immediately after.

I... snapped. I panicked. I went straight to her brother, O Chunks. His reaction was no different. He told me Gayle was asleep. I felt terrible about myself... he yelled at me as well. He gave me advice, but I was too stubborn to listen. I kept insulting myself. I still am.

...and that's my story. I ask you don't take pity on me or feel sorry for me; I'm truly a selfish, undeserving whelp.

[End Boss]

well i can understand that, but what are you going to do about your problem?

it seems like you haven't quite solved it yet

[Frozenwinters]

Poor Hario. >:

[Rusty Shackleford]

I'm pretty much goin through the same thing, You should have seen me when I found out I made her cry, I was depressed, I stopped being happy, I stopped speaking in public, I stopped doing schoolwork, I stopped speaking to my friends, Worst of all, I hated her, I don't know why, A part of me hated her, Another part loved her, I can't explain it, I dunno why I hated her in the first place, It wanted to cause her pain, But I wouldnt let it, I haven't even spoken to her, I doubt she wants to speak to me anyways, I haven't even apologized to her about it, It makes me wish I could stop myself from even asking her out, At least she would speak to me, and not ignore me. Just apologize to her, Don't do the same mistake I have, And ignore her, It just hurts her and it makes you feel like shit. Next time you need to get some pain out, Tell a friend, I remember telling a friend about my suffering, I ended up feeling a lot better, Sorta, But yeah, Don't let your emotions take control, they make you do regretful things.

tl;dr:READ MY DAMN WALL O' TEXT

[Super Jetfire]

Hario...
If I could help you, I would, but I'd speak nonsense and the like, making me unhelpful. But I'll try
I say this: Don't beat yourself up over it. No use in calling yourself a fool, it only hurts you more. Take this hardship, and think about what you can do to make a better future, and do it.

I sure hope this helps you in any way possible.

[YagamiMirror]

Wow..that really is..sad. I wish I could help in some way. But don't take so much blame on yourself. Calling yourself names will only make things worse.

[Popple]

I extend my sympathies to you as well as my forgiveness. To me you shall always be the Hario who was the crazy epic bastard this site could not live without.

[Ligador]

Well, I guess I'll end up ignored here, as well as any other advice coming from this topic, but I believe I should do it in case.

Love at internet... Most of the cases just come and go... Some of them are just stupid, you know, lame jokes, attention whoring, sentimental confusion coming from immaturity... But this case, it's nothing like that.

That remark wasn't worth much, but anyway.

I know what it's like, sort of. I've known it IRL. And she didn't even need to talk to me in order to reject me -- and nor did anybody else. And I knew that, in a situation like the one I was at by the time, there was no telling anyone. So I had no choice but to keep it bottled deep inside, that is, until...

... School time was over for the day and I could get home. And there you have it, I could unleash how I felt. Brother? No. Mother? No way. Maid? Are you crazy? Dog? She can't say anything about it. I'm talking about the computer.

Back then, I was best friends with someone 7 years older than myself, so you can tell he's mature and he knows how to deal with that stuff, probably. Well, he told me the solution was pretty easy. Punch the wall for some time, and don't go emo.

Now back to Hario. Hario ended up unleashing his depression by sending some people [M] images. It's not his fault, I can tell. It was something compulsive, very few can handle not doing something awful when they are in a situation like the one Hario was at. I almost did something awful, too. If I didn't go straight away for the computer, I could have punched someone on the nose until it bled. I didn't because I had something big enough to hold me up. Hario didn't, so I forgive him totally. And if you ask me, no, the idea of getting jaled/benned is not big enough.

Oh, and, if with the idea of "getting rid of all emotions" you mean suicide, so if you are suicidal, I can tell you from a triple experience. There are things that are worth killing yourself for. But, this one is not, trust me. It's all about internet. You're supposed to have fun here, enjoy yourself here. And if ever you can't solve a problem, all you can do is turn around and try to enjoy yourself. So, I ask you, don't do it. Not over internet.

And, if you ever need, I'll probably be around to listen to you.

[Macha]

I'm sorry, Hario...

The best advice I have is to figure out something to let out your anger on. But you tried that with Captain Falcon, and felt horrible about it...

I don't know. Just... don't do anything extreme. Please.

[Sam]

......

It reminds me of something from my past. Hario, I'm sorry. But don't forgive me, because I'm such an ass.

[MsDevin92]

Smithy couldn't have said it much better.
I'm sorry, Hario, but I really have nothing else to say. And...given some things that happened in the past...Meh, I shouldn't say. Nevermind, I'm just rambling.
Please feel better.

[Legendary Mashine]

*puts on flame shield*

I really don't see why internet relationships are worth this. I had this kind of breakdown over an internet relationship once... when I was eleven.

[Ligador]

[Pfargtl]

*sigh* All of Digi is getting infected with the AIDS we call depression.
I'll be making a topic later. Look at it. At least I'm not depressed.

[Super Cyber Mario]