It's not that you don't want to play Dead Island -- of course you do. You love mangling zombies as much as the next thumbstick jockey. It's just ... what if she's there? You know ... the one from the trailer? It's bad enough that little Zombie Stephanie haunts your nightmares, but what if you should meet her in-game and have to stab her with a garden trowel?

Shhh, it's all right. We've got a solution for you: the Dead Island novelization arriving alongside the game from Bantam. The author, Mark Morris, is a successful horror writer in his own right, but he's also written novels featuring Doctor Who and Torchwood, so playing in someone else's world is nothing new for him.

We can't promise the little girl won't make an appearance, but at least if she does you'll be able to close the book and go get some warm milk. That's right, just set it down, walk to the kitchen, open the fridge --

OH GOD SHE'S IN THE FRIDGE!

... Sorry, she's not. Zombie Stephanie's not in the fridge. We just couldn't help ourselves.