"... a fine tale, Gwen, and well told! And now, Sir Hawke, you promised to favor us with the tale of how you acquired that fantastic blade!"

"Oh no, Lordanon, I'd really rather not. It's not such a great story and --"

"Nonsense! A weapon like that, the quest to procure it must have been epic! Did you plunge a dagger between the scales of a frost dragon?"

"Well, no."

"Oh, well, then surely you must have artfully plucked it from the lair of a sleeping golem."

"Nah, it's just --"

"Perhaps a duel with a villainous wizard who threatened your vil--"

"Look, I downloaded it, OK?! It's from the Dragon Age 2 Warrior Pack II DLC that just came out today. It was $3. I could have downloaded the All-Class Pack II for $5, but I'm not a mage or rogue, so I didn't. I bought it on 360, but I assume it'll be on PC and PSN today too. Is that enough for you? Are you sated now? ... Whatever, I'm going to bed."

"...Sir Hawke?"

"... Yes, Lordanon?"

"Why does your bedroll read L.L. Bean? Is that the elf who wove it?"

"Go to sleep, Lordanon."

[Thanks, Lafu.]