Super Mario 3D Land is now out in Europe !
Posted by Alex Nov 18 2011 15:11 GMT in Alex
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One time I heated up a rotten steak, injected hot mustard and tartar sauce into it, took a bite and it tasted like shit so I cut hole into it and *crag*ed the hell out of it. But then *crag*-skin got all melty and gooey because I heated up the steak for like 30 minutes so I went to a doctor and he said, and I quote, "Hole shit I cannot even begin to imagine how someone *crag*s up their dick as bad as this. Jesus holy *crag*ing God-Emperor Christ that is absolutely vile. It smells like burnt rubber and farts. You have completely destroyed your genitals beyond repair. Get the *crag* out!"
So then I went home and jerked off and blood came out so I put a band-aid on my pee-hole and let that sit there for a couple of days. Then I ripped it off and it hurt a lot because some skin came with it and I smelled the tip of *crag* and it smelled awful so I sprayed some deodorant on it and it really, really, really *crag*ing stung. Then *crag* had this kind of dull throbbing pain for a couple of hours so I took some ibuprofen and painkillers and now it takes like 20 minutes for me to ejaculate. Oh, and my semen is still bloody and it burns when I pee.
Reply by Fortran Nov 18 2011 18:22 GMT
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Did that really happen ? o_o 

Reply by Alex Nov 19 2011 07:54 GMT
You bet
One time I was swallowing so many black dicks that I accidentally threw up on my gay black master so he punished me like the bad little white boy I am by shoving his fat nigger dick right into my tight white boy anus and started thrusting and he didn't use loob so it hurt a lot and my anus started bleeding and after he came in my ass he turned me around and made me lick his dick clean of all the blood, cum, shit, and puke that was on it and then he let all his gay black friends start *crag*ing me and we all played MW3 on XBox.
Reply by Fortran Nov 19 2011 08:33 GMT
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Those stories are gross , but interesting ! 

Reply by Alex Nov 19 2011 15:53 GMT
It was an warm an sunny day in Swet Apple Acers. Scootaloo had just pulled up on her electric scooter to see Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom stowing away several of their older sisters’ pornography.
“Hey girls” said Scootaloo.
“Scootaloo,” said Sweetie Belle. “We just thought of a *crag*ing brilliant idea for how to get our cutie marks.”
“I’m all ears,” said Scootaloo, regardless of the physical limitations preventing her from being “all ears”.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER RAPISTS YAY,” said Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom in an eerily sincronyzed unison.
“*crag* yes,” said Scootaloo. “But how?”
“That’s an easy one, you *crag*ing *crag*,” said Apple Bloom. “My sister is a hick from Missouri. She has guns. So we can easily hold up Twilight Sparkle into using some of that sweet, sweet growing magic on our dickless taints.”
“Why didn’t I think of that?”
“Because you dropped out of school before you went to school.”
“Oh yeah. I forgot, because I’m so stupid. Herp derp.”
The Cutie Mark Three strolled into PonyVille eagar to get their greedy little hooves on teh growing magiks. They arrived at the library, which was just a tree in reality. It was just called the library because it had books in it and stuff. In actuality, trees with books in them would just be called “trees with books in them.” Not a library. But I digress.
“Trick or treat” ejaculated the girls, wetly.
“Get off of my lawn,” retaliated Twilight Sparkle
“No” said Fluttershy, but she was still in her cottage and irrelevant to our cause.
The three broke down her door like an adorable, prepubesint version of the Gestapo and held her up at gun point.
“Alright, bitch. You know what we came her for.”
“Do you girls want alcohol? Because I’ve got some 120 proof in my ‘special’ cabinet. But that’s usually for when...”
“Don’t play dumb, whore,” Apple Blossom interrupted. “You know we want our cutie marks.”
“I already told you, hunny bunny. Magic can’t give you your cutie marks.”
“That’s why we want you to give us dicks,” added Scootaloo.
“Lolwut.” said Twilight.
“It’s the perfect plan.”
“Well seeing as how I’m being held at gunpoint, I won’t question you, in order to move the story along.”
“Smart girl,” said Sweetie Belle. “Now show us the money.”
“Okay magic. Please happen.” and the Magic began happening in her horn.
Within seconds, the Cutastically Fantastics were staring down their newly formed Japseyes.
“Can I go now?” asked Twilight with a hint of jealousy in her voice.
“Hmm... nah.” said Applejack, although she was away visiting France.
Sweetieloo forced Twilight’s resistant, yet, eager face onto her 26” weiner.
“You like that, don’t you?”
“Mmhmm” choked Pinkie Pie while she was servicing Rainbow Dash in a glory hole in a San Fransico bathhouse.
“Mmhmm” gagged Twilight.
Apple Bloom approached Sparlight Twikle from behind and stuck it in her pooter.
“Holy Guacamole!” cried Spike.
Mid-rape, the voyeuristic dragon desented from his surprisingly comfortable dragon lair.
“Dude, nice.”
“Intruder!” yelped Apple Bloom
“Stranger danger!” shrieked Sweetie Belle.
“I need an adult” clucked Scooatloo.
Before Spike could make his escape, Abble Blum coaxed him into consensual sex.
They had plain vanilla sex, the two of them, in the missionary position.
“That was gay.” said Apple Bloom.
“You think? I just had a magical underage horse dick violate my anal passege.”
“Word up. Do you think you could lick the cum off of my schlong?”
“I mean yeah,” Spike vinced.
While the homoerotic activities occurred, Apple Bloom held Spike’s head down for so long that he died from having his head held down for so long.
Sweetie proceeded to rape the warm, lifeliss corpse before her.
Reply by Fortran Nov 19 2011 19:47 GMT
How poetic, write a novel mother*crag*er
Reply by Fallen Shade Nov 20 2011 01:20 GMT
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He is an awesome poet ! 

Reply by Alex Nov 20 2011 07:36 GMT
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