Did you pre-purchase Guild Wars 2 in frothy mouthed anticipation of a pre-release weekend getaway in Tyria while pre-heating an oven and pre-procuring a preponderance of preserves because you must get a head start on all aspects of life? Well then, good news: your foresight’s paid off in the form of an upcoming beta weekend event, which will run from April 27 to 29. There’ll be more in the future as well, but they’ll be announced at a later date. Unfortunately, good old-fashioned sign-ups are now closed, so it’s pre-order or bust. But hey, at least you can still read about the beta, thanks to the wonderful Richard Cobbett. And really, who cares about actually playing a game when you can live the experience vicariously with phrases like “pooping defiance“?