Aliens: Colonial Marines seems like a product developed over a series of Friday afternoons. You know, those long days where passion felt throughout the rest of the week has dissolved and all that's left are the moments you count off in your head as the clock inches toward closing time.

Though my tongue is planted firmly in cheek as I describe Gearbox's development schedule, Aliens: Colonial Marines showcases the monstrous pendulum that swings between the quality of the products released by the Texas studio. Whatever magic Gearbox pours into the Borderlands series, it isn't to be found here, and despite being blessed with a franchise practically tailor-made for a video game adaptation, Aliens: Colonial Marines is devoid of any redeeming qualities whatsoever.