Last week, EA shocked no one by announcing a fantasy-themed MOBA of its very own. RPS went street level to witness the complete lack of riots, and everything went pretty much exactly as expected. Jim Smitherford of Some Random San Francisco Apartment was incredulous. “Wait,” he said, brow furrowed as though on the verge of collapse. “They haven’t done that already? Huh. Also, how did you get inside my home?” Kelly Someoneson of Someplaceburg shared a similar sentiment. “Oh,” she replied when we gave her the news. “Well, good luck to them, I guess.” Then we tapped one last man on the shoulder and asked for his input. “Really? So they’re finally doing that, huh. Well I’ll be,” he exclaimed. It was EA COO Peter Moore.

[Obviously, the above events are highly fictionalized. The following Dawngate video footage and details, however, are most certainly not.]

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