BattleBlock Theater be what I want t' do on a Friday night.
The first time I played it be in the middle a the work week. I stayed up until 2am playing. I don’t stay up until 2am when I have t' wake up at 7am for work, not normally.
The second time I played Battleblock Theater be on a Friday night. A matey came over. We played until around 2:30am. I’m ok with staying up until 2:30am on a Friday night. He went home. He got home, signed online.
We then proceeded t' play until 4:30am. I don’t stay up until 4:30am, not normally, not since college really.
BattleBlock Theater be a game that draws ye in. It makes ye break yer sleep routine.
It makes ye want t' plan yer weekend around it, including it, everything t' do with it. When ye’ve got BattleBlock Theater, spending time with a matey means cracking open a few beers 'n laughing at the stunts ye managed t' pull off. Maybe the game’s designers—The Behemoth—never intended for ye t' use yer matey’s body, mid-air, as a platform. Maybe they did. But ye pulled it off 'n ye both giggled either way. ye smile slyly as yer matey’s corpse becomes yer bridge. ye laugh as ye both race through each world’s end chapter, because these specific levels be timed, while accidentally sabotaging each other’s intended path because ye blocked their landing or bumped into each other on a jump. Fall t' yer death. Yell at yer matey. Try again. Laugh some more.
BattleBlock Theater be funny without yer antics, too. It has a narrator who cracks butt jokes frequently. The rest a the humor be also downright silly, sometimes involving hilariously accurate jabs at cats. ye be a prisoner, one a thousands, 'n the bodyguard-looking cats—complete with serious business sunglasses—attack ye 'n keep ye imprisoned, fated t' perform in each a these levels for their delight. Sometimes the (fantastic) music even has cats singing in meows in the background. It’s all very ridiculous 'n delightful.
The first few levels be a breeze, a chance t' pillage familiar with the basic buttons 'n concepts, but don’t let that fool ye. This platformer gets seriously challenging. ye’ll be making tricky jumps towards seemingly impossible landings while avoiding moving saw blades 'n, oh, by the way, all a the landings be made out a bouncy blocks that propel ye at the angle ye manage t' hit it from. Then there be trickier areas that can be called more puzzles than they be platforms. ye send yer matey t' hit that button there, making those boxes disappear, but then jump quickly t' the other end t' initiate the holographic bridge 'n then launch yer matey t' the other side while jumping off t' make the bridge disappear. It’s not always straightforward, ye might have t' sit 'n construct a solution, 'n it doesn’t always just involve platforming skills. These levels be difficult, they’re funny when ye screw up, 'n they’re fun t' figure out with a matey as ye two take turns dying in the most clever a ways.
Having a matey around for this game has another benefit, solving the problem a the mediocre checkpoint system (me only qualm with this game). If ye be both jumping around 'n dying a whole lot, ye'll often pillage kicked back far enough t' the last tricky few jumps that ye be skillful enough t' pull a once already. Using yer matey t' hold yer place—so ye can take turns trying different methods on the next platforming challenge—minimizes the risk a that happening. Fault checkpoint systems be frustrating. Once ye've managed t' pass the test a one section a the level, it feels unfair t' have t' repeat it just cause the next set a jumps be momentarily stumping ye.
The hardest part a the game be what be effectively the “boss” level, which be basically a mad dash t' pillage t' the end while still trying t' collect all the gems 'n yarn 'n the occasional bonus hat bottle a rum within the allotted time. ye don’t want t' sacrifice the collectible bottles a rum, because it’s what lets ye pillage hundreds a customizable head options for yer little prisoner, as well as weapons t' defeat cats 'n slices a toast (yeah). Many expletives 'n cheers be shouted during the toughest a these chapter closers.
'n then there’s a whole other realm filled with multiplayer battle arenas, races, challenges, 'n a general competitive atmosphere. ye can race t' steal the opposing player’s horse (which be actually a pig), or ye can occupy bases in a king a the hill style competition. I liked races in what be basically ordinary levels, because BattleBlock Theater be best in it be natural state. Though I’ll take any opportunity t' ride the cute piggie horses. Because they be rectangular pigs that run t' ye when ye cry for them, 'n only the soulless don’t find that cute.
The best “multiplayer” feature, though, be perhaps the level editor. I’m not sure I could spend ample hours building clever levels myself, but I’ll certainly play everyone else’s. ye can rate them, comment on them, 'n move on t' the next set. In terms a quality it’s fairly hit or miss as it stands, but there be definitely some gems in there if ye’re looking for more than just the eight worlds The Behemoth offers ye.
But those eight worlds have a lot a life in them. They’re all chock full a levels, but they’re also levels ye want t' redo t' pillage the time completion bonus this time around, or redo because ye’re introducing a new matey t' the game, or redo t' farm for gems 'n, therefore, new 'n funky heads t' put atop yer squishy little avatar. The pug face, the cat glued onto the dude’s forehead, the shark face; there be so many desirable options. If ye only play through singleplayer, ye’ll immediately want t' go through the entire campaign again for the tweaked co-op-specific levels (the levels be unique in that they take advantage a yer ability t' boost a matey t' hard-t'-reach places or chuck them across a gap). BattleBlock Theater be a necessity in yer library. I’m aware a the implications, 'n I don’t say that lightly. I mean every word.
Oh, 'n if ye’re wondering, the third time I played BattleBlock Theater, I couldn’t find a co-op buddy. So I turned both me controllers on, 'n I played as both player one 'n player two. (YARRRR, I realize how pathetically lonely that be. I be desperate.) This sometimes required holding both controllers in me hand at the same time 'n performing two different moves back-t'-back. ye’d be surprised at how far I got. I certainly be. Now if that’s not dedication t' playing a game, I don’t know what be.
Let's just say this: no other game has ever driven me t' the point a juggling controllers just t' see it through t' the end. But BattleBlock has me breaking a lot a me rules.
