I exist outside of popular culture*. I’ve only just started to watch The Shield, and I mostly listened to Use Your Illusion II this weekend. So I had to Google ‘Gareth Bale’ to find out why everyone was talking about him, which in turn reminded me that Football Manager 2014 is coming out, and that I should get with the times. The managerial machination sim would have prepared me for the news about a Welsh person’s move to a Spanish place for more money that exists in space and time, and it would also have told me about his abilities, stats, training schedule, and possibly his cup size, but it’s not out yet and I refuse to be left behind again by looking at 2013′s information. I’ll wait for 2014′s release, and keep up by watching these videos of the game in action.
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This year as with every year, there is a brand new edition of Sports Interactive’s management goliath Foot-to-Ball Commander. The 2013 version is out next week, in fact. New features this year include over 17 new types of decomposing tobacco breath odorants to add to your manager’s Unhinged Bellow attack, the option to hurl the most racist members of your premiership team into the heart of the sun and the exclusive Gary Lineker’s Leaving Your Wife Of 20 To Shack Up With An Underwear Model Time Attack mode.
Also there’s a demo, out now on Steam.(more…)
The continuing misadventures of first-time manager Ian Football, leading hapless team Worcester City FC to their uncertain future in Football Manager 2012. Previous installments are here.
I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Hell, I even knew that it was going to happen more often or not. That didn’t make it any less painful when, for the first time, my team lost. And lost hard.
Accrington Stanley? Who are they? Exactly.
Would it really be so bad if I quit right now?(more…)
Ian Football, manager of Worcester City football club, can’t come to the phone right now, so I’m here to hold the line until he gets back.
I just wanted to say: I am really enjoying Football Manager 2012.(more…)
I am playing Football Manager 2012. I have never played Football Manager before. I only know a bit about football. I’m a bit scared. This post is in character as Ian Football, newly-crowned manager of Worcester City Football Club, a team deemed to have suffered a “32 year barren spell.” The first in this series is here. The next post, by the way, will be out of character, detailing my own thoughts on football management games.
I have made three key mistakes so far.(more…)
A sad truth: it would, perhaps, be all too easy to pen another RPG diary. It’s all about the anecdotes, rather than discovery and learning. I’ve had an itch to start work another mega-long feature for a while, but I’ve struggled to identify a game I’d like to do it with – I want to surprise myself, not repeat myself. So, when a Twitter shout-out brought up the presumably mickey-taking suggestion of Football Manager 2012, it actually made perfect sense. I know almost nothing about football, after all, apart from that it features an angry man called Wayne who has hair plugs and likes prostitutes. Truly, I would be a stranger in a strange land. I would learn. I would struggle. I would suffer. I might even learn a little something about feet and balls. Are you hunching uncomfortably in front of your PC? Then let us begin.(more…)
The year’s big guns have all been loosed now, and Christmas wallet-raiding is fully upon us. So, which games will be cleaning up on Steam and at Uk retail? Skyrim, MW3, AssRev, or another challenger? And is the resurgence of Splash Damage’s last game enough for me to justify saying ‘Byte vs Brink’?(more…)