Take up your blade, ye merest of mortals. Though in truth, it’s more of a formality than anything, for I shall pierce your heart before it’s even able to flutter in fea- oh, you got me. Aha! But I’m back, and this time I shall deliver a blinding riposte tha- right, my organs. A clever place to strike indeed. But not clever enough, for I shall now throw my sword in the wrong direction and cartwheel intimidatingly away from you. Mind games, you see. Nidhogg is a chess match, friend, and I’m so many moves ahead that you-

Win. You win. Maybe I could stand to become a little better at Nidhogg.

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