C'mon PC and PS3 gamers, you're starting to depress us. You press your noses against the window as you watch 360 gamers enjoy the new four new multiplayer maps in the Call of Duty: Black Ops "Annihilation" DLC. You drool like Dickensian orphans at a Golden Corral as they raze hordes of the undead in the new zombie scenario, Shangri-La. You wonder aloud what it must feel like to be them and, frankly, we've seen enough. It's time to reclaim your dignity.

Thirteen days. That's all you have to wait. Less than two weeks and you'll finally be back on even footing with those jerks.

... What's that, pumpkin? No, we're sure they haven't "used up all the fun." Oh, that's adorable. No, you'll see. On July 28, if you've got your $15 in hand, there will still be plenty of fun waiting for you. We promise.