Neither are we, DAMMIT. But news of Guild Wars stealthily entering closed beta for a lucky, handpicked few is news because this game has hiding over the edge of the horizon for so long by this point. A move towards any kind of beta, then, suggests it’s finally preparing to show itself off to the world in the not-too-distant.

Devs Arenanet whispered on their forums that closed beta begins today, but you won’t know you’re until until you know you’re on it. Like the Dark Brotherhood, they will approach you in secrecy and invite you to join their ranks unbeknownst to the friends and family in your everyday life. For that life will become but a sham, a mere charade to mask your true purpose on this Earth: to help identity bugs and stresstest severs in a massively multiplayer online roleplaying game. Details, such as they are here, but the long and short of it: if you find a website offering access, it’s a scam. We’ll let you know as soon as that changes, of course. OR WILL WE?