Only the majestic tone a the illustrious George Takei could sum up Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor's reviews so far: "Oh me!" In our two-star review we retreated back t' the Kinect game classic "it be great, when it works," but at least we seem t' have scraped some functionality out a the game. Prepare thyself, for only darkness be found beyond here.

• OXM (75/100): "Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor isn't for everyone. In fact, some people may be more turned off by the potential for error in it be Kinect controls than by the Xbox version's overbearing, multi-button controller ... War has never been this intense, 'n ye best try t' take part."
• Destructoid (30/100): "At it be core, it be a basic mech game with a "realistic 'n gritty" feel t' it that ye've seen a million times before. Maybe at some point, the Kinect requirement can be patched out a it. Until then, piloting these Vertical Tanks even while sober may result in a loss a brain cells."
• Game Informer (30/100): "The mech-combat genre isn't overflowing with alternatives, but they do exist. Save yourself the aggravation 'n pick any one a those. ye won't do any worse."
• IGN (30/100): "Heavy Armor might be Kinect's most spectacular failure, but it be precisely because it be so ambitious. ... Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor deserves a lot a credit for sticking it be neck out in an effort t' craft a fresh videogame experience. it be one a the best ideas on Xbox this year, but ultimately it be also one a the system's worst games."
• Polygon (10/100): "I be never able t' shake the feeling a watching through a window while someone else played Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor as I shouted suggestions 'n waved frantically, hoping they'd notice me. So, how be Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor as a game? I honestly have no clue. ye'd have t' ask the lad in the other room."