And by “dumb,” I mean wonderful. Maybe even brilliant, in the sense that Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon seems on track to be a neon-emblazoned clown who secretly conceals both a high-powered laser rifle and an Ivy League college degree. That also fires lasers. The bits we’ve been shown lovingly satirize everything – ’80s action flicks, shooters, modern games, old games – with a surgically deft robo hand. Far Cry 3, eat your heart out. Otherwise, the blood dragons (which are actual things) will do it for you. This live-action mini-epic is no different, combining low-budget special effects, terrible costuming, and glorious over-acting to make… something. I can’t do it justice with these words of mine. They’re incapable of producing a synth-dirge soundtrack, and without that, I am lost. See the movie for yourself after the break.

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