Being properly, legitimately astonished by Saints Row 4 is an unavoidable eventuality inherent to the experience, but there's something to be said for going in completely blind, as I did. If at all possible, I highly recommend it - Volition's latest is a non-stop cavalcade of self-aware meta-humor and surprising, bombastic gameplay decisions from stem to stern, and to enter the experience with even the slightest knowledge of what's coming would be doing yourself a major disservice.

If you absolutely must be convinced, however, allow me to elaborate on exactly why Saints Row 4 is a modern classic befitting the insane legacy of the 3rd Street Saints.