It was Christmas Eve. Lord Crump sat fabulously on a boat, sipping fiendish eggnog.
He looked at the furious football hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Ignorant had hung it there, just before they looked at each other flatulently and then fell into each other's arms and farted each other's mouth.
If only I hadn't been so flamboyant, Lord Crump thought, pouring a fabulous amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Ignorant might not have got so funny and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a flatulent tear and held his nose in his hand.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a fat voice lifted funnily up in song.
I'm dreaming of a fantastic Christmas
Just like a fabulous flub floats
Lord Crump ran to the door. It was Ignorant, looking fast all over with snow.
"I missed you fiendishly," Ignorant said. "And I wanted to fart your mouth again."
Lord Crump hugged Ignorant and started to sob.
"I think you're drunk," Ignorant said.
"I think so too," Lord Crump said and they farted each other's mouth until they knocked the Christmas tree over.
On Christmas Day, they ate roasted goat bum and lived furiously until Lord Crump got drunk again.
On a tight and hard morning, Doopliss sat in the outback. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His nail ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Kangaroo to love someone with a bumpy tooth?
Lightly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a tangy wet Nastasia, all on a summer's day. I wish my Kangaroo would lick me, in his own hot way..."
"Do you?" Kangaroo sat down beside Doopliss and put his hand on Doopliss's wenis. "I think that could be arranged."
Doopliss gasped hotly. "But what about my bumpy tooth?"
"I like it," Kangaroo said sloppily. "I think it's slimy."
They came together and their kiss was a blunder from down under.
"I love you," Doopliss said firmly.
"I love you too," Kangaroo replied and licked him.
They bought a Dimfish, moved in together, and lived delicately ever after.
Flar3 tripped along loudly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Ph1r3, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a goomba hopping along, carrying a coin in its mouth.
Flar3 was almost on a ? block when he came across a red cake, lying alone on a green plate. "That must be a treat from my moist bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked intimidating, so he ate it.
It gave him the most filthy tingling sensation in his moustache. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Ph1r3.
When Ph1r3 came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Flar3 cried angrily.
"Your anus! And your weiner!" Ph1r3 said. "They're monstrous! Can't you feel it?"
Flar3 felt his anus and his weiner. They were indeed quite monstrous. "Oh, no!" Flar3 said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that red cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Ph1r3 said. "I got you a mushroom. It must have been that stout man who lives nearby. He acts a little deeply, ever since he fisted a fire flower."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Flar3 sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Ph1r3 said vigorously, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your anus is really moustachioed like that."
"Really?" Flar3 dried her tears. Flar3 kissed Ph1r3 and it was an entirely scrumptious sensation, like a piranha plant in heat.
They spent the night having entirely scrumptious sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Francis sipped jokingly at his drink and stood flaccid behind a cocaine. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel adorable and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how beautiful his dick got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Francis knew very well why he was at the party: to see Tippi.
Ah, Tippi. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her nerdy tits made Francis's heart beat like a couple of niggers cackling at a farm dog in the mid 1800's.
But tonight everyone was masked. Francis peered rapeily through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Tippi. There, he thought, the woman over by the rreams, the erect one with the rooster mask. It had to be Tippi. No one else could look so kinky, even in a rooster mask.
She began to walk Francis's way and Francis started to panic. What if she actually talked to Francis?
Tippi came right up to Francis and Francis thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Tippi said famishedly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the benedryl ya'll," Francis said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so delicious.
Just then, a lovely voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Francis's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Tippi might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Tippi swept Francis into her arms, bent him in da club, and kissed Francis twerking, slipping him the tongue and groping his ass.
Francis could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out cattishly and pulled Tippi's mask off her face. It was Tippi! "I knew it was you," Francis said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Tippi said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Francis watched her go. She would be right back, Francis was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.
Mister Mundane stepped really out into the disgusting sunshine, and admired BIG Dragon cocks's clitoris. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a Autistic sight.
"BIG Dragon cocks climbed off the penis and walked hotly across the grass to greet his lover. Mister Mundane patted BIG Dragon cocks on the lips and then tried to *crag* him retardedly, but without success.
"That's all right," BIG Dragon cocks said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not monster," Mister Mundane. "Not as monster as the time we *crag*ed craving cock."
BIG Dragon cocks nodded happily. "We were omniscient back in those days."
"Our cocks were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Mister Mundane said. "Everything seems retarded and deformed when you're young."
"Of course," BIG Dragon cocks said. "But now we're outragously small, we can still have fun. If we go about it snowball-cravingly."
"Snowball-cravingly?" Mister Mundane said . "But how?"
"With this," BIG Dragon cocks said and held out a cock-hungry his mother. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to *crag*.
"Mister Mundane swallowed the his mother at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to *crag* snowball-cravingly. They *crag*ed Like Lord Crump posting Breaking Bad everywhere. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
1 
A Slim In Time
On a tight and hard morning, Doopliss sat in the outback. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His nail ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Kangaroo to love someone with a bumpy tooth?
Lightly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a tangy wet Nastasia, all on a summer's day. I wish my Kangaroo would lick me, in his own hot way..."
"Do you?" Kangaroo sat down beside Doopliss and put his hand on Doopliss's wenis. "I think that could be arranged."
Doopliss gasped hotly. "But what about my bumpy tooth?"
"I like it," Kangaroo said sloppily. "I think it's slimy."
They came together and their kiss was a blunder from down under.
"I love you," Doopliss said firmly.
"I love you too," Kangaroo replied and licked him.
They bought a Dimfish, moved in together, and lived delicately ever after.
Hesitantly Tripping
Flar3 tripped along loudly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Ph1r3, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a goomba hopping along, carrying a coin in its mouth.
Flar3 was almost on a ? block when he came across a red cake, lying alone on a green plate. "That must be a treat from my moist bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked intimidating, so he ate it.
It gave him the most filthy tingling sensation in his moustache. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Ph1r3.
When Ph1r3 came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Flar3 cried angrily.
"Your anus! And your weiner!" Ph1r3 said. "They're monstrous! Can't you feel it?"
Flar3 felt his anus and his weiner. They were indeed quite monstrous. "Oh, no!" Flar3 said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that red cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Ph1r3 said. "I got you a mushroom. It must have been that stout man who lives nearby. He acts a little deeply, ever since he fisted a fire flower."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Flar3 sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Ph1r3 said vigorously, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your anus is really moustachioed like that."
"Really?" Flar3 dried her tears. Flar3 kissed Ph1r3 and it was an entirely scrumptious sensation, like a piranha plant in heat.
They spent the night having entirely scrumptious sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
Flaccid Lang Syne
Francis sipped jokingly at his drink and stood flaccid behind a cocaine. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel adorable and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how beautiful his dick got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Francis knew very well why he was at the party: to see Tippi.
Ah, Tippi. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her nerdy tits made Francis's heart beat like a couple of niggers cackling at a farm dog in the mid 1800's.
But tonight everyone was masked. Francis peered rapeily through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Tippi. There, he thought, the woman over by the rreams, the erect one with the rooster mask. It had to be Tippi. No one else could look so kinky, even in a rooster mask.
She began to walk Francis's way and Francis started to panic. What if she actually talked to Francis?
Tippi came right up to Francis and Francis thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Tippi said famishedly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the benedryl ya'll," Francis said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so delicious.
Just then, a lovely voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Francis's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Tippi might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Tippi swept Francis into her arms, bent him in da club, and kissed Francis twerking, slipping him the tongue and groping his ass.
Francis could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out cattishly and pulled Tippi's mask off her face. It was Tippi! "I knew it was you," Francis said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Tippi said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Francis watched her go. She would be right back, Francis was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.
And then they would fall in love.
A Horny Day To *crag*
Mister Mundane stepped really out into the disgusting sunshine, and admired BIG Dragon cocks's clitoris. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a Autistic sight.
"BIG Dragon cocks climbed off the penis and walked hotly across the grass to greet his lover. Mister Mundane patted BIG Dragon cocks on the lips and then tried to *crag* him retardedly, but without success.
"That's all right," BIG Dragon cocks said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not monster," Mister Mundane. "Not as monster as the time we *crag*ed craving cock."
BIG Dragon cocks nodded happily. "We were omniscient back in those days."
"Our cocks were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Mister Mundane said. "Everything seems retarded and deformed when you're young."
"Of course," BIG Dragon cocks said. "But now we're outragously small, we can still have fun. If we go about it snowball-cravingly."
"Snowball-cravingly?" Mister Mundane said . "But how?"
"With this," BIG Dragon cocks said and held out a cock-hungry his mother. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to *crag*.
"Mister Mundane swallowed the his mother at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to *crag* snowball-cravingly. They *crag*ed Like Lord Crump posting Breaking Bad everywhere. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.